Post # 1
So I’m curious about my fellow bees. When I was younger, I would have said Stay-At-Home Mom all the way, but I love my career and figured out as a foster parent, that while I love children, I don’t feel any guilt other moms report from dropping a child off at daycare. Maybe it’s because I was a foster parent vs bioparent.
I would totally be supportive of my Fi though if he wanted to be a Stay-At-Home Dad. We talked about either of us doing it since we have comparable salaries. I think the ideal would be to do what most coworkers do and have a family member provide the childcare, but my parents work full time and Fi says his are crazy and can’t be trusted with pets or children. We do both work from home, but neither job would allow us to actually watch kids while working.
We’ll probably go the daycare route. I’ll note that this isn’t too hypothetical since we definitely want kids and if we have fertility issues, we’ve spoken about going the foster to adopt route. I have a sister who has been struggling with infertility for almost 10 years now and I know it sucks.
Post # 2
Our hypothetical plan is that Darling Husband will be a semi- stay at home dad. He currently has two jobs: one at a school and one as a pastor. He would quit his work at the school. His job as a pastor is likely to become full time over the next few years so then it would shift to a more work-at-home situation with supplemental childcare.
Post # 3
Daycare. We don’t have any local family (and they all work anyway, it it wouldn’t matter if they were local). I also love that a daycare center is always open (other than weather closings). My husband and I don’t have other options if an in-home provider got sick or went on vacation.
Post # 4
When and if we have children in the future, I will be considering a mixture of potentially either staying home for a time period or working part-time with utilizing a licensed daycare establishment.
We don’t have family close and, even if we move closer to family, I would not trust nor want the issues that commonly come with using family as primary childcare. I doubt I would feel comfortable with an in home daycare as there just isn’t typically the same insurances or systems in place that reputable centers have.
But that’s just me personally and what I would feel best with when envisioning future parenthood. To each their own.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre
I truly enjoy my job but once we become parents I will be a stay at home mom until they are in school all day, then my in laws will be retired and will be helping us out by picking up after school. I can drop off in the morning.
Post # 6
I chose to stay at home for a few years. I just wasn’t able to leave my son with strangers while he was so little. Frankly I didn’t trust anyone, and didn’t want to feel like I was missing out on that time with him. I was also extremely concerned I would eventually have lost my job, because of the frequency of illness in their first few years at daycare. I would have been the one taking off of work, not my partner. I’ll go back to work in a few more years, after baby #2 (due in June) is preschool age, and gladly.
I will say staying at home has its own challenges, I don’t recommend it for everyone, and I am very fortunate this was an option for us. It’s what was right for my family, but that doesn’t make other choices any less valid (I don’t like the mom shame I see from other moms over working vs staying at home).
Post # 7
I voted for three options! My older two (almost 4 and 5) attend school a few days a week which had a daycare component (I can pick them up as late as 6). My 2 year old goes to an in home daycare a few days a week. I work from home (for myself) and they stay with me a couple of days a week, on those days, I usually work late at night after they sleep.
Post # 8
I used to work full time with my oldest two children. They were 10 and 2 when I quit to be a Stay-At-Home Mom. With my 3rd- she’s only ever known me as a Stay-At-Home Mom. In my experience, being a Stay-At-Home Mom is a hell of a lot easier than being a working mom.
Post # 9
I’m going to be a Stay-At-Home Mom for a couple years (and hopefully have #2 during that time too). I have a master’s degree and love my job, but it’s very travel-intensive and not conducive to having a baby. I’m hoping to go back to work in my field after a couple years, but with a different company or agency that won’t require as much travel. Frankly I’m a little scared about giving up a huge part of my identity and about getting back into my competitive field after a break, but I’m also grateful to have the chance to be home with babe(s). Ultimately I think some daycare is good for kids, and I know myself enough to know that I will start to need a break from being a full-time mom – so hopefully this plan work out.
Post # 10
I’m am about to return to work following mat leave (in the UK so have been off for 14 months) and I’m going back full time. We are doing a mix of nursery (3 days pw) and family (2 days pw). I’m hoping to wfh one day a week so I can do laundry and pick him up from nursery at 5:00 rather than 6:00.
We are trying to split drop off and pick up 50/50 as we both have 45 min to 1 hr commutes and work in office jobs. We will see how that goes.
Post # 11
Ideally we would like my husband to stay home part time and jave a babysitter cover the times in between if he has to leave and I’m coming home. Only until they can talk but he wouldn’t be a full time Stay-At-Home Dad. We just prefer to save the gas for him commuting and the money paying into daycare.
Post # 12
Daycare with one. We’re likely one and done. If we decide to have two then we’ll see. I like my job, and my field is competitive, so if I leave for a few years, it’ll be hard to find a job and I’ll likely have to take a big pay cut. I also don’t think I have the personality to be a Stay-At-Home Mom.
Post # 13
My job offers onsite childcare for employees. It’s more of an educational/developmental care place than a standard day care. They teach the kids math, science, art, language, manners and things like that. I tour next week to see how long the wait list is but we get a discount on the price and it would be easy to bring her to work with me and drop her off and take her home when I’m done working.
My family will also watch her if need be. My dad owns his own business so he has the freedom to take her with him if we absolutely needed to.
Post # 14
We used a combination… He would work regular day hours, and I would work a few hours in the evening when they were tiny. Then their grandma watched them some days and we used an in-home daycare for a while too. It was really nice, I felt good about having my kids in a home environment with someone I trusted. But we had the advantage of being in a very rural area so we knew the lady and knew her family and knew her history so that made us more comfortable letting her watch our kids.
Post # 15
Schatzie821 : I’m going to stay home a few years and get my own business going during that time. Hopefully by the time their in school it will be going strong. I don’t want to put a baby in daycare, my career isn’t worth it to me and my Darling Husband is on the same page. It just sounds too stressful to try and do it all. I don’t see myself going back to a 9-5, id rather run my own business. Hopefully I can pull that off.