- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
My mother and I communicate poorly. If I say anything that differs from her opinion, ask questions that may challenge her thinking, or don’t agree on something it becomes a shouting match. My mom is a verbal bully. She over talks, doesnt listen, and assumes what I am thinking. I am 31 and have lived with this all my life and I am tired. Im and only child and my mom has never been married so ive taken all the brunt of it. I am learning to just shut down when talking to her but it leaves me feeling so defeated because I feel like I can’t speak. She has to have the last word and fight EVERYTHING. For example she was terminated from her last job. It was a part time job for which she had been employed six months. They initially told her they would extend her probation because she was not fulfuilling the job requirements. About two weeks into the extension they terminated her and did not fulfill the entire extension. She was livid and immediately started talking about filing a complaint because they did not allow her to work through the probation period.
The job was strenuos and internally I was happy that they let her go because I was extremely concerned that it was too much work for a 61 year old woman. She was getting off after mid night and it was physically and mentally exhausting which she stated herself. However she still feels she was wronged. We live in a state that allows employers to terminate you WITHOUT CAUSE. I have explained to my mother that they did not have to fulfill your probationary period but she still chooses to fight on the basis that she did one part (but not the whole part) of her job exceptionally well. She went to the unemployment office today and the guy told her yeah they were wrong for that which fueled her fire. When she told me that I asked her did the gentleman say the company was breaking a law? She couldnt give me a straight answer and got infuriated and stated I know what you’re trying to imply. Yes I am trying to imply that you should pick and choose your battles wisely. You told that guy your side of the story. However you did not tell him that you were repeatedly late and left on work days for extended periods of time. You were terminated becasue YOU did not fulfill the position requirements and for other reasons. I never got to say all that because she was yelling and I just hung up. Im at my whits end. How do I handle her????