- 4 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014
Not asking for advice – I just need to vent!!!!
I knew when we made our wedding adults-only it could ruffle a few feathers but very few of our guests have young children and with this one exception all have been fine about that. It didn’t go on the invites but in a politely worded prhase on our website: “Due to space constraints and the tone of the event, we respectfully request an adults-only ceremony and reception. We apologize if this inconveniences any of our guests. ”
Well we’ve just found out that FH’s only cousin in our city isn’t attending, first from a conversation between her and FMIL and then from a fairly snarkily worded RSVP “Mr & Mrs Name & Name Surname along with their son Name regrettably will not be attending the wedding or the post-wedding brunch. Congratulations on your Wedding Day, wishing you all the best for a happy and healthy future together.”
I am gutted for FH and their family simply because the situation is just weird.
– FH has a few other cousins in NZ but they have slightly older kids and we knew in advance they weren’t going to be able to come. The cousin I’m talking about is FH’s only cousin in our city.
-This cousin lived with FH and his family for a year when she moved out from England, away from her aunt and uncle, when she was in her late teens so has always been considered one of the family. The aunt and uncle are coming out from England, as are this cousin’s grandparents from NZ. Apparently FH/FMIL are expecting a shitstorm when the aunt & uncle find out 😛
– Here’s the kicker. We thought it was going to be OK because the cousin’s husband has tons of family who we figured to be called on to babysit. Turns out the baby – who’s 1 year old now & would be almost 14 months at the wedding – has NEVER been baby-sat or out of sight of one or both parents unless it was sleeping! We’re all kind of like whaaaaaaaaat?
– Really neither here nor there but FH & his family paid a fair chunk of cash to attend her destination wedding.
– Not attending the wedding is one thing but the baby is of course able to come to the brunch (at FMIL/FIL house) so why a no to that too???
FMIL asked why the cousin couldn’t come on her own and leave the baby with her husband but apparently that wasn’t going to be acceptable 😛 We’re hoping she calms down and sees some sense as we still have a number of weeks til RSVPs need to be in but it’s already caused so much drama >( FH doesn’t have a large extended family … I’ve got almost three times the family coming and many from interstate & NZ so I just feel bummed for him that they’re having to deal with this situation 🙁
FMIL tried to put a positive spin on it, saying “Whether they’re there or not, the rest of us will have a wonderful time together & I for one can’t wait!! ” … but I just know she’s livid that they’re not making any effort 😛 (it doesn’t help that she hasn’t made any attempt to join in on family Christmases either since she got married, hmmm. it’s like she’s basically shut off her family since then??? anyone had experience with that?)