(Closed) Porn is a very fine line…

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
1058 posts
Bumble bee

I’m naturally jealous and if he knew her name that means he was doing enough research on her to know her name. It’s almost like he was seeking out someone else to get to know them more, but reality he IS really attracted to her so he wants to find other movies that she performs in.

I would be pissed too. haha

Post # 4
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I totally know what you mean! We watch it together occassionally, but I feel that same weird jealousy sometimes, and I’m sure I would in your situation, too. I know I don’t get that feeling if I pick what we are going to watch instead of letting him pick! Maybe you should try that?

Post # 5
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Yeah, that would probably bother me, too. It has also bothered me in the past if a SO has any porn that has someone in it that really strongly resembles someone we know. 😛

Post # 6
Member
3613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Hey, as long as it works for both of you, why not? I’m sure you can find plenty of movies with unknown actresses 🙂 I don’t like even the remotest possibility of my husband being turned on by a naked woman on screen, so I would never watch porns with him. I would be too busy wondering what he’s thinking and not be able to enjoy anything myself. By the way, that extends to regular actresses for me too. I have a hard time watching any movie with him where I know he has fantasized about (or done more) the actress. In the beginning of our relationship he was naive enough to tell me about the extremely long list of celebrities he has pleasured himself to, which left a sour taste in my mouth for a very long time about watching movies with him. The more time has passed and the longer we are removed from it, the better I feel. I know that even if he finds the woman still somewhat attractive at least he’s not a horny teenager anymore watching those clips on his computer all day.

Post # 7
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Mr. P and I love watching porn together.  It is a fun now and then thing though.  I would hate for it to be an all the time thing…..  I could never imagine either of us needing it…..  however when we do watch it it seems I am always the one who chooses because I think he is so sensitive to my feelings that he is afraid to choose and select something that would bother me.  However in this case I try to explain to him that his sexual desires are nothing he can control and come out with it so we can both enjoy it… weird right?!  

Post # 8
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

LOTS of couples watch porn. Together AND apart. I once dated the college dorm IT guy who fixed everyone’s computers and trust me–far more people watch porn than you’d expect and who’d admit to it.  In fact, the world of porn is so diverse and vast and tastes are so divergent that there are porn directories just to help you navigate the world towards stuff you like. And I can tell you that me and DH? We will watch it together now and then but in general, we like totally different stuff. 

However you feel about porn is fine. If you like them nameless, then so be it. But I kind of think that you have to also allow HIM to have his pleasures too. So he likes one particular pornstar. There’s a difference between fantasy and reality, so as long as he’s not spending hours watching Ms. Pornstar or running up a steep credit card bill or using porn to replace sex with you, I wouldn’t waste my time being jealous. Chances are she’s simply revving him up for YOU, so perhaps consider her your private sidekick.  That doesn’t mean you have to watch her with him; I just think that it’s healthy to allow him to have his proclivities as long as they remain all in good fun. 

And I think porn is supposed to be fun–you should be able to get turned on, but you should also be able to giggle and point and groan and say “eww!” and cock your head puzzled at how the heck they are doing whatever. My Darling Husband and I have had some great moments of laughing our heads off at some craziness that didn’t make sense to either of us. In the future, rather than he picks and then you pick, why not pick something together that you haven’t seen? And if it’s not working, turn it off and move on to something else. Or each other. 

If it’s truly making you uncomfortable with the girl, then by all means have a discussion. But honestly, I don’t think it’s worth it. It’s sort of like being threatened by his favorite ice-cream flavor. 

Post # 10
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

OMG. I totally know what you mean.  Being attracted to the actors/actress is one thing, but picking out that specific film because of that actor/actress would really bother me.  I think it would make me feel like I wasn’t good enough – like the movie wasn’t just for excitement – but instead was the main show.  

Post # 11
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Same as me, we used to watch the porn and it was ok. Until i thought to myself why are we watching this to get hot for eachother? I thuoght am i not good enough for him. So we dont watch it anymore. I asked him one day if he watches it when i am away and he said yes he does, i also got really upset. He knows the actresses names and old movies or just the background. I dont like the word jealous but more like upsetting to know he does this behind my back

Post # 12
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I would be totally turned off too!

Post # 13
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

You don’t pick out a regular (non-porn) type of film because a certain actor/actress is in it?  Heck, I’ll see just about anything with Colin Firth in it because I find him simply adorable.  And, I usually gravitate to films with actors/actresses that I enjoy and avoid films with actors/actresses I don’t care for.  Love Johnny Depp but won’t see The Tourist because I can’t stand Angelina Jolie. 

And you can’t watch a porno because your SO has the hots for some porno star and knows her name?  Don’t they show the actors names in the opening credits or on the DVD holder?

That is like me saying that we can’t watch any Mila Kunis movies because Darling Husband has the hots for her.  I know that Darling Husband has a snowball’s chance in hell of ever meeting Mila Kunis much less sleeping with her.  Does he fantasize about Mila while we’re having sex?  I don’t know and I don’t care.  If he is and it gets the job done, then cool. 

Post # 14
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@LacrosseBride: Agreed.

I’m not an avid porn watcher so I don’t know for a fact but isn’t the point of porn to get excited? It’s not like an obsession in my opinion. It seems rather innocent to me.

Post # 15
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Honestly doubt I’d be able to watch porn when I WASN’T attracted to who was on the screen. The name thing doesn’t bother me. I don’t frequently watch porn but I don’t think its difficult to find out their names. If you’re open enough to watching porn with your guy I’m surprised you have jealousy issues over a porn star your man will never be in contact with.

Post # 16
Member
74 posts
Worker bee

Nothing wrong with watching porn but you are wrong to get mad at him for being attracted to the woman. Seriously I’m sure you have actors you watch in movies cause you think they are hot…why is this different and wrong just cause it’s porn? If he like Anne Hatheaway and saw Love and Other Drugs would you be angry at that too? there is nothing wrong with finding someone else attractive. it’s normal, just not something u act on! and porn star, isn’t going to be an option to act on.

The topic ‘Porn is a very fine line…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors