(Closed) Positive about Marriage?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Well you can’t really plan for everything.

I have someone to laugh with, snuggle with at night and wake up with in the morning.

Post # 5
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Well, I’m not married yet but I am a fellow overanalyzer & I’m in psychology so I live in a world where marriage is constantly dissected and analyzed…which may or may not help lol.

I’ll tell you what I’m looking forward to: coming home to him every night, knowing that it’s us against the world, and that I have someone to build a life with from here on out.

Also, premarital counseling may help if you’re feeling a lot of anxiety about the things that can go wrong in a marriage b/c you get to talk about such things up front – just an idea ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

It sounds like you have a negative outlook on marriage and want someone to tell you that everything is always perfect… It’s not going to be perfect ALL the time, there will always be ups and downs… Try to go into it with a more positive attitude, life is only what you make of it.

I agree with Nyebride, you can’t plan for everything.

Post # 7
Member
3576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’ve lived with my husband for 2 1/2 years before we got married and what I can tell you  is not much has changed but it is different…in a good way.  We definitely have a deeper connection and I’m hoping this will only grow stronger.  We’ve always been each other’s cheerleader and sounding board.  But, we’ll still have our differences (we’re only human) and just knowing you will have someone to go through life’s good and bad times with is a blessing.

Post # 8
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

you have to go into a marriage thinking divorce is not an option ๐Ÿ™‚ we learned alot about this in our pre-cana class.they say the divorce rate is 50% but i believe that is inaccurate.

“From the U.S. National Center for Health Statistics: “If you looked at all the marriages and divorces within a single year, you’d find that there were twice as many marriages as divorces. In 1981, for example, there were 2.4 million marriages and 1.2 million divorces. At first glance, that would seem like a 50-percent divorce rate.

Virtually none of those divorces were among the people who had married during that year, however, and the statistic failed to take into account the 54 million marriages that already existed, the majority of which would not see divorce.”

you just have to be 100% committed to being married and if you enter that marriage thinking divorce is an option you are probably more likely to allow that to happen.

i know not everyone has the chance to do a class like pre-cana. but pre marital counseling is a great substitute…It really made Fiance and i look at each other a little deeper than we already do, and it brings up ALOT of questions that you dont think to talk about or may be difficult to talk about.

Positive thoughts! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

After I got married everyone asked me “so how does married life feel?” it was usually as a joke since Darling Husband and I lived together for 4 years before we got married. My answer was always the same though… “it feels the same only a million times better” which imo is true! Nothing has changed we are the same people being married just brings a huge smile to my face every time I think about it.

Whenever we have that thought, because we have, we think of all the great married couples we look to as role models.

Post # 10
Member
2829 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

There are definitely ups and downs. My partner & I have been together for 6+years (lived together for 4+), and it certainly isn’t perfect all the time, but it is comforting to know that we are both loved, supported, cared for. I love having someone to laugh with, to listen & talk to, and knowing that someone has my back in this big, scary world.

Post # 11
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@totheislnds: If you break the divorce rates down further by age at marriage, socio-economic class, children before and after marriage, education, religion, etc, you find that the divorce rate for people over 26 without kids with at least a bachelor’s degree who are not religious have a very, very low divorce rate (less than 10%). The younger/less educated/having babies before marriage you are, the more likely your risk of divorce is to skyrocket.

SO interesting!

Post # 12
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Married life is wonderful. I was skeptical beforehand thinking that once we got married things would change dramatically – but they havent. Its the little things that have changed. The way we are more patient. The way we take more time to think about the things we are saying and doing. We are both more loving, caring, supportive, understanding. My husband has also been much more helpful around the house. We also hardly fight anymore!

Post # 13
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My favorite part is that we can plan a future together and there are no questions of “if”. It’s not “if we get married, we’ll do this or that.” We’re married, so we can plan it out and talk about it in a concrete way. There’s not some deadline we have to meet before we can take action.

Post # 14
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

A previous PP said it best. You have to go into marriage with the idea that divorce is not an option.
Will Smith and Jada put that in their vows and they are one of the longest hollywood marriages today.

Post # 16
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I don’t know if this is helping you at all, but in my family divorce has always been a four-letter-word.  I was not even allowed to ask hypothetical questions about divorce when I was a kid. Absolutely taboo.

My parents have been married for 36 years and are still going strong.  They had their share of difficult years, but today I can say that I honestly believe my parents are happily married.

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