(Closed) Positive feedback for destination wedding?

posted 4 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Member
3072 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@LyndaButterfly:  precisely as expected, I got positive feedback from the people who are already well-traveled or have a desire to become such and negative reactions from people who think that Ocean City, Maryland is an exotic vacay. I haven’t received my RSVPs yet, but I expect it will look about the same. I don’t expect anyone to go out and get their very first passport to attend my wedding. 

ETA: as for the cost aspect, some people hear “Europe” or “Caribbean” and their eyes get big and they talk themselves out of it before they give themselves a chance to consider that it can actually be quite affordable. I went to a lot of trouble (and incurred quite a bit of extra expense) to ensure that my guests could get to my wedding and enjoy the long weekend for an affordable price (much cheaper than Vegas or Disney World). Yet, some of them (including one of my closest friends) never got as far as seeing the price because the idea of “destination” just sounded too lofty and fanciful in their minds. 

Post # 4
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We knew from start that we were going to get married in Sweden, otherwise my grandma wouldn’t be able to attend. When we told friends and acquaintances here in Toronto we were engaged we got lots of shrieking and happy hugs and then the where/when question. As soon as we told them Sweden, the enthusiasm clearly declined. I don’t think this have to do with Sweden, rather that they just came to the mental conclusion that they wouldn’t accept an invitation even if they got one. Free food and booze dreams out the window… hard to fake happiness when you’re disappointing. 🙂

Now, I never wanted a big wedding – so the DW thing has worked out well in that aspect. On the down side, it IS complicated to plan something like this from afar.

 

Post # 5
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We pretty much got negative reactions off everyone, some of our family even fell out with us as they think we have chosen a DW wedding just to personally spite them lol. Its funny because everyone always says “its your day do what makes you happy” but as soon as its a wedding that may affect them they form opinions. We have just paitently kept explaining that a DW is what we want and people are welcome to join us if they what, the people closest to us are slowely warming up. 

You will never please everyone, so just choose what you and your FI want and let the cards land where they may 🙂 xx

Post # 6
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

We tried to have a ‘normal’ wedding but our family is spread out all over the country. No matter where we would have it, more than half of the guests would have to travel a long distance and incur a lot of cost to attend. For those reasons we chose a destination wedding and it has worked out really well so far. We talked to our parents and siblings before making a final decision to make sure they could attend. After that, anyone else was just a wonderful bonus to us!

There are definitely people who are disappointed, but only because they’d like to come and can’t. But, if we had it in Canada and these same people were forced with the decision of whether to travel cross country to attend, they still wouldn’t go. It helped that we had such a good reason, so no one could really ‘argue’ against it.

If a small, intimate wedding is what you’re after and the important people who you’d really like to be present can make it, then go for the DW.

Post # 7
Member
765 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@LyndaButterfly:  We thought about having a destination wedding, but it became clear very early on that some of the people we most wanted to celebrate with us wouldn’t be able to attend. They may only have a limited amount of vacation time they can take. They may not be able to afford it. They may just want to dictate how they spend their own time off. It’s far easier for people to travel for a weekend than take a week or two off to travel internationally. 

That said, I LOVE traveling and I go to every destination wedding I can afford to. However, I’ve also had to turn down several because I couldn’t afford to attend all of them. SO…be aware that your guests may WANT to attend and celebrate with you–but they may not be able to afford it. OR they may have other destination weddings they’ve already committed to. I had to turn down a good friend’s wedding in Croatia this year because my cousin got married in New Zealand. Didn’t have the time off or the money to do both big trips. 

It’s asking a lot of your guests. Some will come…but you have to be prepared for a LOT to say no. That said, if it’s what you and your FI really want–do it. You can always have a small, informal reception at home afterward with those who couldn’t make it. That’s what most people I know did to ensure that everyone feels included. 

If your guests are concerned about paying for travel, I’d caution against getting married in Greece. It’s one of the most expensive countries in Europe to fly into it. If you do it, have your guests fly into Milan or another country nearby and book an Aegean Air or hopper flight on a rival discount airline. It’ll save them a bunch…but it’ll still be expensive.

Post # 8
Member
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Hmm…LOTS of negative reactions. But it is to be expected. I understand that we are asking a lot of people.

We have 35 guests and I am super happy with that number. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
9956 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

When we got Engaged, Mr TTR & I received a similar reaction (altho our story slightly different)

As Encores, right from the get go we knew we wanted this time round… the Wedding to be totally opposite to anything either of has had done previously

So we began to plan / talk of an Elopement to a favourite Destination, to say our vows just the tow of us on a Beach in the sunshine over the Christmas Holidays

When we announced our Engagement to folks (including Family & Friends) the reaction was as you’ve stated first massive celebration.. followed by disappointment when we stated where.

Many tried to convince us to change our minds… some wanted to come along (including a few who were totally serious, who prompted us to have a sit down chat with them to let them know we were NOT OK with that), and we even had one person go beyond disappointed, to pouty, and into the realm of angry

We thought everyone would be uber pleased for us…

This however was a real eye opener

Now the good news.

We finally came to realize that our friends meant us no ill will.. they were happy for us, and just wanted to celebrate with us

So with that in mind, we planned a casual Back Home Reception after we got back from our Honeymoon.

The cool thing about a Back Home Reception is you can make it however you like…

Formal / Casual – Big / Small – Sitdown / Hors d’ouevres – Wedding-like / or not

Our evening party with Cocktails & Hors d’ouevres – Cake & Champagne – DJ & Dancing was perfect for us and our friends & family

It was a lot of fun

No regrets… and a lot cheaper than a traditional full-on Wedding Reception, so that was a HUGE BONUS

In the end, I think everyone (us & them) went away quite happy with the outcome…

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 11
Member
5245 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@LyndaButterfly:  We had all positive reasctions when we said we were having a destination wedding in Cuba! Everyone wanted to come and we had a total of 67 people join us for our wedding 🙂

Post # 12
Member
2273 posts
Buzzing bee

@LyndaButterfly:  Well I dont know about doing destination weddings. Mine is local.

But.
I’m Greek. So I can vouch for your destination!! <3 

Post # 13
Member
1673 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We’re getting married in Mexico.

I had a lot of positive reactions but they were all from the well travelled folks. Of course it would be easier for guests if it was in town. I’ve been extremely touched at our guests willingness to travel so far to be there! Not one complaint. (We are really trying to make sure everyone knows it is an invitation, not a summons! We don’t want anyone to feel bad for not coming!)

I find destination weddings are certainly trickier as a guest, but if I want to go then I make it happen. It’s fantastic to make the wedding smaller, and guests and make it their own little vacation if they want. I went to one that was difficult for me, but I think that was more that I was going through a hard waiting phase, not because it wasn’t fun. (Everybody drunk asking when we were getting married, me wanting to beat them with the nearest object.)

Anyways, have fun and don’t worry too much! The biggest thing is to not pressure people to come, and it doesn’t sound like you will.

Post # 14
Member
3918 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Even before we were engaged, everyone was asking us when they got to go to Scotland for the wedding.

Once we decided to do the wedding in Scotland (FI’s parents wouldn’t be able to travel to the USA) we talked to the VIP’s and made sure they could come/would come. They were all THRILLED.

We invted about 114. So far we have 77 yes RSVP’s and 14 more people we are waiting to hear back from.

Everyone is making it a mini-vacation – leaving the kids at home and coming over for 5 days or more.

Post # 15
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

We are getting married in NYC, coming from Scotland, we have had nothing but positive comments, to our face at least! Obviously friends can’t make it, and I’m fine with that, I know my very best friends and family will be there, we checked with then first, so that’s all that matters! In fact, I’m not really sure many of the were surprised as if is kinda ‘us’ and they told us if we don’t have an at home reception, they would throw one for us, which is lovely!

Post # 16
Member
5704 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I just got back from my desitnation wedding in Mexico!  

 

When we first told people about this (just last Christmas) we got positive responses.  In fact, DH (first time I’ve written that!!!!) and I decided on our VIP list (that’s the list of people who absolutely must be there) and talked about the idea and the cost per guest with them in advance.  Every one of them was on board, so we made it happen. If someone couldn’t come and weren’t on the VIP list, we were sad, but at peace.

 

 But honestly, we had an over all very positive reaction to the desitnation wedding.  Some people who weren’t as farmilar with the idea thought it was a bit strange, but most of my family was like “tell me when to be there!”

 

I suggest you do the same.  Talk to the people who you absolutely must have there and find out how they feel about things.  If they are hesitant, consider another plan.  For example, you could do a destination wedding that’s much more affordable for guests if you head to an “all inclusive” location on the typical Canadaian charter flight route.  Or you could do something closer to home like one of the islands (I see that your’e also in BC) or a mountain resort.  Still far enough to weed out the people who really don’t care, but less burdensome for your guests who do attend.

 

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