(Closed) Positive outcomes/valuable lessons from TTC besides BFP! Sharing time.

posted 7 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
12340 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Age: 35

How long have you been trying? (if you’re TTC) 28 months

Did you get your BFP? How long did it take you?  Still working on it

Did you have to seek fertility treatment?  Yes, 2nd round IVF scheduled for Jan

What is something positive/valuable you learned while TTC?  It’s always been the way I worked, but definitely came in even more handy during this time: Just go with it.  Take it one day at a time and just look at the next step of how to deal and fix it.  I splurge a lot more on myself too now.  If I can toss 1000s at fertility treatment, I should let myself spend that $50 on a sweater if I really want it.

What advice would you give someone that has been TTC for a while without success?  See above, just take it one step at a time.  For me, since we’re doing IVF, it’s believing that science will prevail and one way or another, something will work.

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Post # 4
Bee
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia

View original reply
pinkshoes:  Wise words, lovely.

How long have you been trying? (if you’re TTC) We tried almost 2 years for our first, before IVF worked. We’ve now been trying for 14 months for #2… and no luck yet.

Did you get your BFP? How long did it take you? Deciding on IVF was what got us our eventual BFP. It also got us our two miscarried babies, this year. I hope it will bring us our second baby eventually.<br />

Did you have to seek fertility treatment? Yep. We tried 12 months on our own, before moving to treatments.

What is something positive/valuable you learned while TTC? I think someone is trying to teach me patience…. ๐Ÿ˜‰

What advice would you give someone that has been TTC for a while without success? It’s ok to be frustrated, or disappointed. But keep trying.. because it’s worth it.

 

Post # 5
Member
357 posts
Helper bee

 

How long have you been trying? (if you’re TTC)  -8 months ttc 

Did you get your BFP? How long did it take you?

-no, still waiting for that BFP. 

Did you have to seek fertility treatment?

-No, i haven’t. 

What is something positive/valuable you learned while TTC?

– Patience & never giving up. 

What advice would you give someone that has been TTC for a while without success? 

– Try not to overthink way too much. Don’t get to obsessive. & try to have fun while trying. I’m a Christian, so I believe in God’s timing Is always perfect. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
1848 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Age: 25

How long have you been trying? (if you’re TTC) NTNP for 2, and TTC for 8

Did you get your BFP? How long did it take you? Haven’t gotten it yet

Did you have to seek fertility treatment?

who knows at this point if we will have to. I doubt we will but you never know 

What is something positive/valuable you learned while TTC?

ive learned a lot more just about this whole process. how it works, what kind of timing you need, what you must do to sometimes get your BFP. I appreciate it more now that I know how it works, rather than getting a BFP off the bat. 

I’m also more sensitive to those struggling with infertility. It’s such a long hard road and reading some women’s stories on here is just amazing, what they will go through for their children. I won’t be that friend asking if they’re going to have kids anymore! I have much more respect for families that go through this process. 

What advice would you give someone that has been TTC for a while without success?

find ways to occupy your time. Don’t POAS starting at 8DPO. And don’t forget to stop living!

Post # 7
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - backyard in the woods

Age: Me- 32, DH- 39

How long have you been trying? (if you’re TTC) We’re on cycle 13, though I had a 7 month pause in between Cycles 12 and 13 for medical reasons, so we’ve been trying/desperately wanting to get back to trying for approximately 1.5 years (I have short cycles)

Did you get your BFP? How long did it take you? Over a year at least, no BFP ever

Did you have to seek fertility treatment? Kind of? I knew that I had endometriosis going into TTC  (I had a previous laproscopy for pain and they diagnosed mild endo and removed it (supposedly, I think that doctor didn’t know what he was doing). After a year of unsuccessful TTC I found a new doctor who specializes in endometriosis. I had a 2nd lap and found out my endo is actually very severe. My new doctor removed what he could but there was too much to do it safely and properly in one surgery, so I was put into medically induced menopause for 7 months (fun!) so that I could heal until I could have another lap. I had that lap (my 3rd) a few weeks ago, and my doctor says that he got it all the endo and that he doesn’t think that we should have any further issues TTC. We’ll see… I’m honestly not that optimistic, but more so thatn I was before these last two laps. If we don’t have any luck after another 6 months TTc we’ll move to IVF.

What is something positive/valuable you learned while TTC? Trust your gut. I pretty much talked my DH into TTC right after the wedding (he wanted to wait a little longer) because I was concerned about my ability to conceive because of my endo. I was right. At this point I’ll be at least 33, and DH 40 when we have our first, IF we were to get pregnant this cycle. I’m glad we started when we did, since we want two, and I have issues conceiving.

What advice would you give someone that has been TTC for a while without success? 1) Don’t compare yourself with others. It’s so hard to see others get pregnant so easily. I decided relatively quickly that I would avoid as much of it as I could. I don’t put my elf in situations that hurt, like POAS boards or threads where someone is devastated when they didnt conceive on the 1st try (I can spot them a mile away now, just by the thread title. They’re justified in their feelings, I just dont want to hear about it.)

2) It’s okay, and very refreshing to take a break. I was very upset when I found out that we had to stop TTC for 6 months and then have a 3rd surgery. Looking back, I think it was helpful to me mentally to take a break from it all. I was getting depressed; I’d lost hope that we’d be successful, fully expecting AF on time every month even thoguh we were actively TTC. It was becoming a burden and major stress on me and DH. I was not in a good place. I feel much more refreshed now. Ideally, a shorter break would have been nice, and on my own terms, but I think it helped. Let’s hope that the surgeries did too…<br />

Post # 8
Member
1368 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Age: Me 28 – DH 33 

Did you get your BFP? How long did it take you? Got my BFP in month 15 of TTC. 

Did you have to seek fertility treatment?  I only had my blood tested and an ultrasound.  We had our appt with the fertility specialist scheduled for the beginning of October.  I got my BFP on Sept 23.<br /> <br />What is something positive/valuable you learned while TTC? I learned so much about the female and male reproductive systems…seriously I was clueless before and now I know so much.  I also learned how strong my relationship with my DH is. Infertility is not something that you or your partner can prepare for.

What advice would you give someone that has been TTC for a while without success? 1. It is okay to be a mess.  I cant even tell you how many “sick days” I took during our TTC process just because I was not strong enough to do anything but cry in bed.     2. Listen to your body and your gut.  I tried different supplements to help balance my hormones and shorten my extremely long cycles.  I could feel a difference when I found the supplement that worked for me and postponed my first appt with the fertility doctor bc I had a feeling that I was going to get pregnant.

Post # 9
Member
5191 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I think this is a great topic. Thanks for starting this discussion. ๐Ÿ™‚

Age: 34/35

How long have you been trying? (if you’re TTC) It’s complicated because we knew we were infertile before we ever began. We just didn;t know the extent of the problems and that IVF was our only possible hope.

Did you get your BFP? How long did it take you? No, and we won’t have a chance until some time next year, if we are lucky.

Did you have to seek fertility treatment? Yes, we are hoping to be able to try an IVF cycle next year.

What is something positive/valuable you learned while TTC? We’ve learned that we are an amazing team. I mean, we knew that already, but this process has reinforced that knowledge in spades.  We’ve also learned a lot more about our health insurance benefits and the US tax code. hahaha In all seriousness, though, I am learning to take things one step at a time. I am a super planner, Type A, control freak. I’ve battled against those tendencies for years, and have made a fair bit of progress. But this experience has really forced me to let go of my need to control everything and force the world to adhere to my timeline. For better or for worse, this entire thing is out of my hands. I know that learning to let go and finding my peace in the face of uncertainty will only help me in the long run. i’m also learning to let go of the fear that surrounds all of this uncertainty. being afraid won;t change anything. It will only hurt me and negatively impact my ability to thrive. That is not what I want for myself, so it’s time to stop being afraid. I can hendle this. WE can handle this. So what is there to be afraid of? 

What advice would you give someone that has been TTC for a while without success? Get a hobby. You NEED the distraction. 

 

Post # 10
Member
1922 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Age: 31

How long have you been trying? (if you’re TTC) n/a

Did you get your BFP? How long did it take you? Yes. 14 cycles

Did you have to seek fertility treatment? We were undergoing some fertility testing. I had bloodwork (CD 21) and an HSG. My husband had an SA. We were gearing up for Clomid the following cycle. 

What is something positive/valuable you learned while TTC? I learned a lot of valuable things. I learned how truly understanding and kind my husband is. I learned to be empathetic to other women’s TTC struggles. There are more of us out there than we’d like to admit. And I’d say I learned that you don’t truly know how sweet something is until you’ve tasted the sour. 

What advice would you give someone that has been TTC for a while without success? Agreed with lovekiss, get a hobby. TTC can be all consuming and you’ll need a pick-me-up when aunt flow arrives. Take care of yourself. Whether that is eating healthy, working out, relaxing with a massage/spa/yoga/glass of wine/etc. Also, what worked for me maybe not everyone, is to share my pain with close friends and family. I found keeping it bottled up was no good at all. I even kept it from my husband for awhile. Once he saw my pain, we were able to really develop a plan and have some amazing bonding sessions. It was nice for some of my girlfriends to help me through the tough months too. One more thing, if you have only been trying less than 6 months, don’t do the “woe is me” crap. It can really piss off someone who has been struggling for a long time. 

 

Post # 12
Member
2402 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Age: 35

Did you get your BFP? How long did it take you? TTC since Feb 2013, got bfp in early October, I think! 

Did you have to seek fertility treatment? I did ultrasounds, bloods etc and I did clomid and trigger shots back in May and June. I attended a fertility clinic in August-October to deal with recurrent mc caused by autoimmune issues.

What is something positive/valuable you learned while TTC? We learned that we are a great team and dealing with this has strengthened our relationship even more. I also am grateful for some amazing friends who have really been there for me. I’ve dealt with anxiety issues that I’ve had for a few years. 

What advice would you give someone that has been TTC for a while without success? That’s hard to say because everyone’s journey is different and im so grateful that I’ve gotten here in under two years. I think the strength of the ladies on the 1+ thread is incredible. For me, I found being proactive really helped. I couldn’t just sit around and hope for something to happen. I ended up attending an OBGYN, and REs in three different clinics before I was happy With the support I was getting. 

View original reply
candy11:  Hope you’re doing well. Am I right in thinking you took a small break from TTC?

Post # 14
Member
2402 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

View original reply
candy11:  I’m  glad to hear that. Whatever the results, it’s definitely a step forward. Especially as this process is so frustrating as it is, it helps to know all is ok or I need help. 

Thanks, I’m just 14 weeks. Still quite nervous but I have another scan next week so I’m lucky.

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