Post # 1
I’ve noticed a theme on the boards of snide comments towards young brides. Bees seeking advice are often asked immediately, “How old are you?” The reigning assumption is that being in your early 20s automatically means immaturity.
Yes, I know statistically young marriages are more likely to fail, but this does not mean that someone in their early 20s should not get married–only that each person should know themselves well enough to decide if they are truly ready.
I’d like to remind my fellow bees that we all mature at different rates, and some people are in a state at 18 that others don’t reach until 30. And that’s okay!
So I’m looking for stories of young marriages going the distance!
My grandparents married in 1972 at age 18 and are still happily married today.
One of my dearest friends met the love of her life at 14, got engaged at 16, married at 19, and are still very happily married now at age 23.
And of course, I’m biased. I’m 23. Met Fiance at 18, got engaged at 22, will be married just before I turn 25.
Bring your stories, bees!
Post # 2
Everyone I know that married in their teens/early 20s are divorced (sorry but true). Except for my one cousin got married when she was 17 and he was 19. They are still married now in their 30s with 4 kids. I’m not sure about the overall happiness or whatever in their marriage but I really doubt they will ever divorce.
I think it really comes down to people change so much, but usually don’t think they will. But people can grow and change together. Which I’m sure every young married couple hopes to do.
Post # 3
Oh, and I have a cousin who was married at 18 and is still married (with two kids) nine years later.
Post # 5
I know a few young couples that married young (20ish) and are still happily married! I also know couples who got married later and are divorced! Personally, I just got married three weeks ago the day after my 24th birthday.
Post # 6
I’m sorry but
“One of my dearest friends met the love of her life at 14, got engaged at 16, married at 19, and are still very happily married now at age 23.”
Made me chuckle really hard. There are a few bees and plenty more real life examples of people who married young and stayed together. There are even more who aren’t. Fact is, most people are still immature in their early 20s- I sure was! I was in a terribly unhealthy immature relationship- and I seriously considered marrying him because I was worried I would end up alone! I couldn’t stand him- but held on anyway. It’s a normal part of growing into an adult. Generally, the truly mature individuals don’t need to crow about how ready and stable and mature are, and when people get asked how old they are on the bee, it’s because they sound like they aren’t very old.
Post # 7
Both sets of our parents (fi and I) were married before 23, happily until the death of one in each relationship! When my fi and I think about how short life is (we lost our dads in their late thirties!) we are really thankful that our parents took the plunge young, and had as much time together, and with US as God could possibly have given them!
You never know what life if going to throw at you, but if you find someone to weather the storm with, I think it’s silly to wait for posterity’s sake.
And just as a thought. Some couples do divorce. But better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all. We can’t spend our whole lives so scared to mess up that we never take any chances!
Post # 8
My first marriage happened when I was 20, and I thought I knew everything!
Yeah he was abusive and left me out of the blue.
ETA: I met and married my husband only a couple years later. We are incredibly happy and have a new baby. It really all depends on maturity both mental and emotional.
Post # 9
I feel like maybe I didn’t explain my goal for the thread clearly enough. Yes, I understand that there are many, MANY people who are not ready in their early 20s, and that they believe they are ready before they are.
I suppose I’m trying to push back against the assumption that being relatively young makes you unready for marriage by default.
Post # 10
There is a reason a lot of those marriages end in divorce. Sure, there are success stories, but you really can’t compare people who got married young in the 40s and 50s…my grandparents did that, because of WWII, and were very unhappy. However, they were both Catholic and divorce just wasn’t an option. So yes, I guess they were a “success” story because they were married for 60 years, but I would in no way want my marriage to resemble theirs.
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California
My husband and I began dating at 19/20, got engaged at 21/22, got married at 23/24, and we are now 26/27 happily going on our 3rd anniversary! It’s still early, but we are still here doing us :). Young marriage and commitment isn’t for everyone and that’s ok. It takes a lot of hard work, but with the right tools, support, and maturity it’s certainly possible (and well worth it for us so far)!
Post # 12
ya i hate to say it but young marriages don’t have a great track record. The ones “back in the day” usually do last because thats how it was back then, unfortunatley times are very different now. You change a lot going from 20s-30s and if you both dont grow with each other, you will grow apart. Everyone is different so what doesnt work for one may work out for someone else. Love is a powerful thing! Good luck to you!
Post # 13
When I hear young marriage , I think of someone or both parties under that age of 21. I know of four couples that were married under the age of 20. Three out of the four divorced before their third wedding anniversary. The one couple that is still married dated for six months beforehand, were married at 18 & 17, & they’ve been together for over 35 years. But they’re also both alcoholics and abuse pain pills, mentally and emotionally abuse their only daughter, and NEED to get a divorce.
My parents started dating in highschool when they were 18 & 16. But they dated for seven years and then got married just to make sure that even in adulthood they were 100%. They just had their 27th wedding anniversary and are still in love. If you really love someone, you can wait til you’re both matured. Marriage is great, but if you know you’re going to be with someone forever a few years won’t hurt.
Post # 14
DH and I got married 28, so we’re pretty average.
DH’s brother was a teen dad, at 16. He married his wife and mother of his child at 18 or so. They have two children now and have been married around 11 years. We’re always pretty impressed at how much work they put into their relationhip and lives together. They recently started focusing on health and reconnecting with eachother and seem really happy.
DH’s sister got married at 24, she seems kind of immature though, we love her haha.
Umm…one of my best friends married right out of high school, she’s mormon, and they’ve been married 10 years.
Ok, that’s all I got. Good luck OP.
Post # 15
And I definitely agree that a couple should be together for quite a while before marriage. I’m even in the camp that they should live together before marriage, because you don’t really know someone until you’ve lived with them. But that’s another discussion entirely.
I don’t advocate rushing into marriage. At all. But I do feel that someone can be young without rushing.