I think you just became my new favorite person! Thanks for sharing!
I think that OP is well aware of the research and statistics that are against young marriages. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for her to seek out support when the odds can be a bit scary at times. To make a comparison, if someone came on to a cancer support forum and asked “can I survive liver cancer?” You really wouldn’t jump in and say “statistically, you only have an X percent chance”. They know the odds, and it’s hurtful to assume someone is naive or “immature” (which is being thrown around a lot) enough not to know them.
I would also like to send a bit of reassurance OP’s way; some studies I have read (in my degree in Sexuality, Marriage, and Family Studies) indicate that the most common reason for divorce is money. It makes sense that young people, not yet established in their careers and struggling to buy homes, will have a bit of trouble with money and therefore a higher chance of marital stress. Does that automatically make you immature? No.
Some studies suggest that older marriages are so successful because people in their 30’s and 40’s feel biological clocks ticking, don’t want to start over again, and therefore are more invested in making a relationship work than a 20 something that has lots of time to have children, and is already just beginNing to get established in life. Does this automatically make you immature? No.
Some studies suggest that sexual satisfaction peaks in your 30’s for women (horomonal reasons!), and that relationship satisfaction has a very strong correlation with sexual satisfaction! If the sex isn’t good, chances of relationship stress are higher. Do the hormone cycles your body goes through naturally automatically make you emotionally immature? No.
Some studies suggest that when your CLalt (relationship alternatives) are higher (ie, there’s lots of young attractive people around!), you’re more likely to be unhappy in your relationship. So when you’re in your 20’s, you’re more likely to know many single people in your age group than in your 30’s or 40’s, and have many relationship alternatives. Does this automatically make you immature? No.
Some studies suggest that familial approval and social support is crucial to the survival of a marriage. If people don’t approve of a young marriage or you don’t have many married friends who share your experiences, you may experience a loss of social support, and decreased relationship satisfaction as a result. Does needing friends and family at ANY stage of life make you immature? I don’t think so, but this one could be subjective.
I just want to point out that there are MANY psychological studies that explore love and relationships in relation to age, and why relationships end. Most of the professional studies I have read do not indicate “immaturity” as the reason young people divorce, and it’s certainly not what’s agreed on by professionals in the therapy industry. I’m sure it’s a factor in some marriages, but let’s not tear down every single young person on this website, when there is so much reasonable research out there to suggest that 20somethings are NOT simply “immature”, but that there are numerous psychological factors involved! You wouldn’t want to be defined and dismissed because of your age either.