(Closed) Positive Stories of Young Marriage?

posted 5 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 33
Member
2723 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: County courthouse

I was 21 and my husband was 33. We have been together for 9 yrs and married 7.  We also have a 5 yr old which will be 6 this month and a 3 yr old. We have a very happy marraige.

Post # 34
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

It always kind of irritated me when people comment on a young 20 something’s post with “You need to date other people and see what you like before settling down”.

 

Do you really think the solution is to break up with the amazing man I have now so I can date a bunch of losers to find out that what I had was the real thing? That’s like someone coming up to you and offering you a $800,000 salary right out of college and you say “Hmm… no. I don’t want to settle down without spending a year looking for other jobs.”

 

I do agree that a lot of relationships aren’t ready in their early 20s. I watched a friend’s engagement fall apart when she was 22 because she had changed so much in the years since they started dating. I know what could happen. But I also know that no matter how much I’ve changed in the 6 years we’ve been dating, my love for him has only increased. 

 

I was 17 when we first started dating, 23 when we got engaged, and I’ll be 24 or 25 when we get married. If we get divorced 15 years down the road, so be it. I will enjoy the next 15 years and revel in the love we share now.

Post # 35
Member
834 posts
Busy bee

My aunt (my mom’s sister) and her now husband, dated all through high school, and college. They have been together since they were 16, got married at 25, and are still together,  long after 50. I can honestly say that they are hands down the ONLY couple that I personally know that have made this work. I think a lot of people are like, “well my grandparents have have together over sixty years, that’s REAL love.” But is it really? 

Are they really actually happy? Or did they just grow up in a time where you didn’t ever talk about your unhappiness? When spousal abuse was not mentioned? My father’s parents have been married for over 60 years. They met when they were 18 and have been married ever since. The reason I didn’t mention them first is because it isn’t a happy marriage. I’ve never seen then hug, hold hands, laugh, anything. They are stuck because the period of time they grew up in told them that’s what was expected of them. And so my grandmother endured years of abuse by a drunken verbal abuser, and my grandfather endured years with a woman whom I’ve never even seen smile. 

Young marriage isn’t the fairytale that everyone would like it to be. Sure, there are the few that are the the exception, but I don’t hold my breath. 

Post # 36
Member
25 posts
Newbee

I’m not sure I would consider 25 young to be married, I definately wouldn’t consider 26 young and thats one year later!!

Post # 37
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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BabyInACorner:  My oldest sister got married at 18 and is now 42 and she and her hubby are still acting like lovebirds. Success in a marriage is about you and your SO, not about your ages, but about YOU! 

Post # 39
Member
25 posts
Newbee

My own thought are strip away your SO’s looks, the passion in the relationship, the amount of time you have to spend with each other, their money, their job and concerntrate only on their character. Are they the type of person who will be honest with you, who will be kind to you when the passion goes, see the beauty in you when you are tired and angry at life. 

Look at how he treats his mother, this will be the way he treats you later in life. Look at the way their role models treat their other half he will most likely be the same. 

I think getting married young is fine, if you are marrying someone for the right reasons. But just make sure that you are prepared to love that person without everything that comes with love. 

Post # 41
Member
25 posts
Newbee

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BabyInACorner:  Honestly looks like I’m getting engaged at 22 and married at 25 too! Yeah I am a fan of a long engagement, I used to work in weddings and have seen amazing weddings and no so amazing ones. Saving for the day you want is a great idea. 

Post # 42
Member
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I’m 21 and just got engaged…honestly I didnt experience any negativity and had zero snide/questioning comments about my age. I’m established in my career, as is my Fiance, we are more than financially stable and everyone was happy and excited when we got engaged. I had honestly not even given the fact that I’m not “25 and mature” a single thought before the Bee…I just think there are a lot of late 20’s/30s/40s bees here and it’s just how the cookie crumbles. I would encourage you to work hard, use the tools available to you to strengthen your relationship, and keep chuggin along. You know you and your FI’s relationship best. 

Post # 43
Member
894 posts
Busy bee

Not sure where my comment went but what you replied to AmazingAlex and all those challenges you went through with your fiance give you more than enough wisdom to decide if both of you are right for each other or not. I love it.

Its really beautiful and I think that its very unfair that so many bees are leaving negative coments here. Marriage is a commitment at any age and as long as you and your SO understand that and know what you are getting into then thats all that matters. I believe the “young” marriages that fail are the ones where the girl is just blinded by a fairytale dream she has. Also, divorces happen at ANY age for so many different reasons. Its a case-by-case scenario. Thats what I believe.

Stay strong! Its a challenge but its hella worth it! (young bride myself) xx

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by  littlebee94.
Post # 44
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

My grandparents married at 20-22 and are still together 🙂 my mum considers her marriage successful because it lasted 17 years (19 and 26yo) and she got kids from it. 

I just got married and we are both 21 and I’m happy and lucky to have found the person I love when I was 17! 

Post # 45
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
BabyInACorner:  Wow, I’m shocked by a lot of the responses. I completely think “young” marriages can last. I say ignore the statistics! It doesn’t matter if you are 20 or 50, what matters if *you* and your Fiance are ready to take this big step. At 23, I would fall into the “young” category, however, I completely feel ready to marry my Fiance and stay married until death do us part. 

I met my Fiance at 18 and he was 22. This was both our first relationship. It’s not like we didn’t have the opportunity to date before we met each other, we just happened to both be reluctant in getting emotionally vulnerable with another person for various reasons. We have been together for 5 years and have seen each other at our best and worst. Take into mind that this was during our college years where people generally change/experiment a lot. Although every one around else seemed to be getting engaged after 1 or 2 years, we never felt rushed. For us, we were taking our time getting to know each other, learning how to work through difficult times and learning how to love each other for our differences. 

I think the biggest and most important key to a good, healthy relationship (with anyone for that matter) is allowing the other still retain their individuality while growing together as a couple. I have never felt the need to change or give up my dreams simply because I’m in a relationship and vice versa. I think that is why I never feel like I’m “missing out” or “not living”. I’m doing everything I’ve wanted to do, I’m just doing it with my life partner. 

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