(Closed) Positive test but not feeling happy :(

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Don’t feel bad, i would feel exactly the same way you are feeling.  While it does suck,a nd the timing isn’t good, I think that given some time,  you will learn to accept it for what it is.  ((HUGS))

Post # 4
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Getting pregnant and having a baby change everything and that makes it hard. Although I’m really excited for our baby, I get sad thinking about all the things that my husband and I won’t be able to do too. However, then I think about all the things we will do instead because we have a baby. It’s a trade and sometimes it’s hard to see the good parts.

Honestly, I watched “Waitress” and it made me feel not as bad for feeling selfish. It made me feel like it was more normal (not that her situation in the movie is normal).

Post # 5
Member
2821 posts
Sugar bee

A baby changes a lot even if you’re planning on one, I think it’s perfectly normal to experience a huge range of emotions.  Better to work through them than deny they’re there.  You can still go to Aruba and Florida, it might not be quite the same, but all fun doesn’t end once there’s a baby in there.  Good luck.

Post # 6
Member
1493 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@ams12: I have a friend whose 5 months pregnant and they’re going to Aruba next week. I’ve known others who’ve gone on vacation pre-baby.

Post # 7
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I am so sorry you are going through this 🙁 I know exactly how you feel; I was in your shoes about 3.5 weeks ago. I sobbed out of fear, denial and anger when I saw the positive test. I think everyone gets worried when they find out they are pregnant, since everything is about to change. That feeling is multiplied a LOT when you weren’t even trying to conceive and don’t feel ready for a baby.

I’d recommend taking a week to let things sink in and to talk about it with your husband. Just because he is excited doesn’t mean it’s the right time for you to have a baby (you have to be on somewhat the same timeline) but at the same time. You might also be surprised at how your feelings change in a week and you might start to get excited at the possibility of having a baby a bit sooner than you had anticipated.

My husband and I did decide to terminate, because we knew we would be much better off having kids when we both felt prepared, and were ready emotionally and financially. This is defnitely not the right choice for everyone, but if you have any questions feel free to PM me, i am more than happy to talk to you about it!

Post # 8
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I totally understand.  Darling Husband and I had the same timeline as you – try on our 1 year anniversary (which for us was last September.)  Well in August I had a MELT. DOWN. about the selfish things I didnt want to lose and the thought of life chaning so drastically and the thought of not being EXACTLY where I wanted to be when we started trying (but reallty, who is?  nobody lol).  Then just as fast as the panic came on, it was gone.  Give it a few days or a week to process.  August isnt that far away honestly, so you’re only a little ahead of schedule.  Those few months would have helped a lot mentally, but seeing how you were preparing already, your feelings might change. 

Ultimately, you two need to make the decision that is right for you, but think about it and discuss it.  You can always lose the weight after, you can still sell the house.  None of that will change.  You can still take your vaca to Aruba and Florida (um, jealous BTW) just no drinking. 

Good luck with your choice, and CONGRATULATIONS!

Post # 9
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

As others have said, you can still go on vacation, in fact it sounds like your plans to travel are at perfect times in terms of where you will be in your pregnancy (that is, no special travel risks, etc.) Really, the only thing you can’t do while pregnant that you mentioned, assuming you have a normal, low-risk pregnancy, is lose 10lbs.

For what it’s worth– it seems like mixed emotions are totally within the sphere of “normal” for this news.  I was both happy and disappointed, and it has taken over 2months to get where I am now, where I’m much more happy than I am disappointed. And it seems like from other posts from other bees, it’s totally OK to have mixed emotions.  Give it a week or 2 to let the news to sink in, and then see how you feel.

Post # 10
Member
2548 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

While I do feel for you, I also think you should look at the positives. You can still travel yet! I know a girl who travelled throughout her entire pregnancy pretty much! I hope everything works out for you!

Post # 11
Member
6351 posts
Bee Keeper

For me, getting pregnant seemed like the end of the world. I did not want to be pregnant, I had no idea how I was going to do it, and my relationship with her father was nothing close to stable.

I did not want her at all until I saw her tiny little heartbeat flashing on the screen.

I know the timing sucks but I promise you it will all be worth it.

I adore my little girl. I raised her alone for the first six years and we made it. We are a happy little family.

Lots of warm wishes headed your way.

Post # 13
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Good luck at your appointment, please let us know how it goes!  We’re all hear for you regardless, just keep that in mind =o)

Post # 14
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You know, I don’t think most people are ever truly ready for having a baby or able to get past nerves at first. Even those who try for a long time are still usually worrying about mishaps than just being happy. On the bright side… you’re really only about 4 months earlier than you anticipated AND you were able to get pregnant right off the pill which many women struggle with. You will get there, you will be happy, so just take one day at a time :). 

Congrats! 

Post # 15
Member
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think you’re entitled to feeling the way you do. It’s a very big deal but when it’s time for the ultrasound, you’ll come around. I think it’s great that you have scheduled trips so early! You don’t have to cancel them at all, as opposed to if you had them in your 3rd trimester.

Plus, August is just around the corner … it’s just a matter of a less than 3 months if you started trying then Smile Congratulations!

Post # 16
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Awwww, so sorry you are feeling this way. I think this is completely normal! I always thought that I would be 110% THRILLED to get pregnant. We just started trying, and I will find out next week if I am pregnant or now. Now that I am a week away, I feel all sorts of nervous and anxious feelings coming into play.

I’m sure I will be happy, but I never thought that I would also be nervous or scared. But it is a HUGE life change, so that is normal.

And although the timing isn’t absolutely perfect, now that we are starting to try, I’m realizing that it is very true when people say there is NEVER a perfect time. If we waited until we have a clear schedule (no trips, etc) planned to starting TTC, we would never try! Right now, we have an anniversary trip in a little over a month, plans for Memorial Day, a big trip for July forth, plus I have three work trips (flying to a different city) in the next 3 months. So there will ALWAYS be something. It might not be ideal to be in Aruba, but you will find that you will get along very well… in fact, it might be the perfect time to get away, the two of you as a couple and future parents, to relax, get some extra sleep, etc. 

So I know how you are feeling… and just remember that it is OK to feel this way. I think everyone assumes that you should only be elated when you find out you are pregnant, so it’s a bit confusing when you have other feelings too! 

Best of luck at the doctor!

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