Possible child molester

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 31
Member
2185 posts
Buzzing bee

lilacjedibride :  Doctors and teachers are also required to report potential abuse of children in their charge. If anyone with a conscience has information on the child’s school or pediatrician you should contact them anonymously about this in addition to CPS. 

Post # 32
Member
39 posts
Newbee

As the daughter of someone that worked for CPS for 27 years and handled cases like this I’m going to say call as soon as possible. You can report anonymously and sexual abuse is always looked into even if it’s heresay. This child was raised to believe this behaviour is normal and probably doesn’t know she is being abused. Call immediately don’t put it off. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  hpgreys. Reason: Missed a word
Post # 34
Member
3172 posts
Sugar bee

Well done on calling CPS, OP. I would also have trouble playing nice at a family gathering so I think it’s perfectly fine to give yourself permission not to go. I’m curious as to what you’re going to do about family who suspected but did nothing? Personal problems aside I would be quite sickened if I knew my family were turning a blind eye to potential child abuse. I’m really sorry you’re caught up in this but THANK YOU for doing the right thing x

Post # 35
Member
2123 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

Thank goodness you made that call OP! I hope something happens to stop this ASAP. I felt sick reading it. That poor little girl 🙁 even before you said he’d been caught doing sick things with her I thought the whole situation and his behaviour sounded fucked. He isn’t normal. I hope he’s punished and I hope the girl grows up to be happy and healthy. Please keep us updated!

Post # 36
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Please call CPS immediately.

Post # 37
Member
6 posts
Newbee

I just signed up so I could say well done for calling, I was feeling sick thinking about that poor girl. I know it probably wasn’t easy but it was without question the right thing to do, please don’t even question it. you need to be brave and help in anyway that you can to save her and hopefully she will get the help she needs and can begin to heal . I hope Tammy has the strength to tell the truth when they investigate I’m sure she has been through a lot also, but everyone just needs to think about this innocent girl who is almost definitely being abused. Are you going to tell Tammy that you have reported him? I’m just thinking aloud but I wouldn’t want him to be tipped off, if Tammy is in an emotionally abusive relationship which it sounds like she might not be onboard with reporting her husband? please keep us updated and know you always have support here and hopefully Ella will have some soon. 

Post # 38
Member
2185 posts
Buzzing bee

lilacjedibride :  Please give yourself permission not to go to a family gathering attended by a pedophile and his enabler(s). Phone it in and stay home with your fiance. I think you should focus your strength on caring for yourself and standing up for this child rather than playing nice.

Please please consider following up with the child’s school and her pediatrician’s office like I suggested above. 

Post # 39
Member
8060 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

lilacjedibride :  

Yep, fake an illness of some sort and  don’t go. You need to regroup and think about what to do   next.

Post # 40
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

lilacjedibride :  I haven’t even read responses from other bees but I’m sure you’ll receive a lot of advice similar to what I’m going to say. 

PLEASE CALL CPS IMMEDIATELY! Do not worry about the fallout. It definitely sounds like this little girl is being abused. She deserves protection. 

I’ve had to call CPS before (with less information than you have) and it was uncomfortable but it led to the child no longer being in an abusive situation. 

Post # 41
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Just finished reading through the thread and I’m SO glad you called CPS. As a survivor of CSA, I thank you. I truly believe you’re going to make a huge difference in this child’s life. 

Another vote here for skipping Thanksgiving if you feel uncomfortable – which is totally understandable! 

Post # 42
Member
627 posts
Busy bee

Thank goodness you called CPS. Please follow up and advocate for Ella. Talking to her pediatrician is a great idea.

How old is Ella?

I am completely opposed to Tammy’s perspective, btw. It’s unacceptable to talk yourself out of action like that. You don’t “wait for another incident to happen” when the issue is possible child abuse. You act ASAP and protect that child.

Post # 43
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Well done for calling them. On the one hand I understand it’s hard as you will be ripping someone’s (Tammy? I lost track of names) life apart and you care about them but on the other you knew what you had to do and that you couldn’t stand and do nothing no matter who got hurt. A child who can’t control what is happening always comes above an adult who will rebuild. 

Also when it comes to an investigation (and I really hope it does) reassure Tammy (?) that just because her eyesight isn’t what it used to be she should trust her instincts, if that is what she thinks she saw then the chances are it is. Very few things are going to look like that and more telling is their reaction to her seeing it. She isn’t imagining this. 

Also perhaps talk to her about this as now is the perfect time to get evidence of what is going on. If you can get her on board to allow you or your relative to go in to the basement and set up some cameras while you can and also possibly in the bedroom where he takes the girl. Get the evidence now while he’s in the house because as soon as he suspects something you won’t get a chance. 

Post # 44
Member
6 posts
Newbee

@itsnotme my worry which is what I mentioned earlier is that she will not be able to convince Tammy, the fact that Tammy saw with her own eyes amongst the wealth of other red flags but she has chosen not to do anything makes me worry at the end of the day she might protect and cover up for Romeo. especially as OP lives far away so she’s have to try to convince her on the phone, and if she’s in an emotionally abusive relationship her mindset might be denial or that of preserving the life she currently has, and she might warn him. it’s a really difficult call but unless she can go in person and make sure Tammy is on-board I think it might backfire . it’s crazy that TAmmy has already let so many warning signs go ignored not mentioning the actual incident where she saw Ella playing with his genitals!!

Post # 45
Member
1454 posts
Bumble bee

I would go to Thanksgiving just to make sure the perv doesn’t have another moment to himself to abuse anybody. I’d watch that guy like a damn hawk. It doesn’t take more than mere seconds to cop a feel when nobody is looking. 

Hope he rots in hell. oh and same for Tammy. she is no better than the is. Unbelievable.

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