Possible engagement too long?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
437 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

@dfutureNP:  There’s no such thing as too long of an engagement! Well… I mean, maybe 10 years would be too long! But personally, if you have plenty of reasons to hold off, then I don’t think three years is too long at all. I would like a two-year engagement… But could understand having a three-year for various reasons. Do what works for you and your boyfriend, and welcome to the bee!! πŸ™‚ 

Post # 4
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

First, you should do whatever you like that makes you happy.  If 3 years makes you happy then do it.  For me, I believe the point of an engagement is to plan to be married (in that it’s not a quasi-permanent status) so I don’t really understand long engagements, but I would never say something to someone who had a long one.  After all, you can save for a wedding without being engaged.  For *me*, I would only want to be engaged ~1 year or so (a little more if you have a particular season you want to be married in).  Just be prepared to field comments/questions from people who may not understand why you’d not wait on the engagement or speed up the wedding.

 

Post # 7
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Definitely not too long if that’s what you’re comfortable with. My fiance and I had are currently in a year and a half engagement and the wedding is coming up FAST.. a year zoomed by and three will too. I think taking that next step is awesome, and having a long engagement will solidify your commitment to one another. It is very smart that you want all of your ducks in a row as well. No time is “too long” if you’re happy with it! 

Post # 9
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@dfutureNP:  In your situation it’s fine! You have definitely been together long enough to want to take that step now and waiting until you’re finished studying is sensible (I’m currently doing my Masters and would like to wait until I finish too!)

I think sometimes people don’t place enough importance on the concept of actually being engaged.. (girls on the bee will often say ‘why get engaged if you’re not getting married yet?’) but it’s a time to enjoy what is ahead and plan out not only your wedding but how you want your marriage to work. It doesn’t need to be rushed! Ours will most likely be a longer engagement (between 1-2 years) and I can’t wait to just enjoy that time and have fun planning!

If it’s what you guys want then don’t let other people sway you πŸ™‚

Post # 10
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@dfutureNP:  I don’t think it’s too long…my Fiance and I just got engaged on the 12th and we are looking at having at least a 2 year engagement.  I’m in a similar situation as you…I just found out that I got accepted to my graduate program, which will take me three years to complete.  I’ll still be in school when we get married, but hopefully will have been working full time for a year and a half at least.  Plus I love having the time to just enjoy the two of us being engaged and start planning our lives together. 

 

I can see how it might not right for everyone…every situation is different.  At the end of the day, do what’s right for you and your future fiance!  Best wishes πŸ™‚

Post # 12
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

My parents were engaged for 7 years. They have been Married for 37 years.   My engagement was supposed to be 3 years, but we’ve pushed it back indefinitly because of getting our doctorates. It just isnt a good idea with our internships and practicums. 

 

Post # 13
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Our engagement was three years long. We got engaged after 1.5 years because we were excited to announce that we wanted to be together always, but needed to wait until we were done college to get married. It worked out in the end for us. πŸ™‚

Post # 14
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@dfutureNP:  Honestly do what makes you and your SO happy. Im recently engaged, but starting grad school in fall 2014. For us it makes more sense to wait until I finish school. So we will not marry until 2016 as well. For us it works best. Others may think it makes no sense but we feel we are making a mature decision in waiting. If you believe its the best decision it is.

 

Post # 15
Member
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I do feel it would be slightly long. 

How about getting engaged at the time you’d want to start planning? 

Post # 16
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

my Fiance and i have been engaged for close to a year now with no real wedding plans in sight. we have so many other things we want to take care of before we get married. we know that we are 100% committed to each other so the rush of getting married legally isn’t really a big deal to us. plus, we aren’t really keen on having a full out wedding (courthouse plus fun reception/dinner is our plan) so that adds to us not rushing anything. we will probably get married in another year or so…and i think it’s perfectly fine! good luck to you!

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