Post # 1
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
We’ll, I’m here in San Antonio spending my Thanksgiving break with my SO’s family. Anyway, on the way down here, he asked me my preference among yellow gold, white gold, and platinum. My mind immediately thought about a possible Christmas proposal! However, dinner with his family tonight made me think deeper about things. He told me that my present should be about $150, but he would rather get it for half that price. I’m seriously doubting things now. Could he get a ring for that cheap? He already has a ring from being engaged before, and I honestly wouldn’t even mind just getting it. I’m afraid I just can’t even count on that. He talked to his family again about either moving back to Texas or moving to Maryland. That’s the first I had heard of those plans! How could he move across the country without me? I’m confused and distraught bees. Any advice?
Post # 3
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo
Well you could get an engagement ring for that much, but I doubt most men would set themselves a budget that low without being prompted.
I also doubt that he’d give you his previous engagement ring.
Have you talked to him about the moving thing? That’s really the only thing you can do if you want to know what he’s thinking.
Hope you feel better soon x
Post # 4
Member
4020 posts
Honey bee
First off, it sounds like you need to talk to your SO about what his plans are for the future. Secondly, maybe his two comments about preferred metals and prices were totally unrelated? He might be thinking about a ring, but also planning on a separate Christmas gift. I would definitely not accept a ring from his previous engagement, but to each her own. I’d be more concerned about his moving plans at this point.
Post # 5
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
@frabrooke: I agree with PPs and that you need to discuss future plans. If he has plans to move he should talk to you about the different options. If he expects you to go he needs to discuss the possibilities with you before talking to his family… (IMO)
Also, I’m anticipating a Holiday proposal but my SO has also asked me what I want for Christmas. I don’t think he considers the ring to be a Christmas gift.
I also don’t think you should allow yourself to accept an engagement ring that he purchased for someone else. Yes, I know it would make things easier but if he really wants to marry you he won’t mind trading in that ring, or melting it down for something different. I don’t think that request would be considered unrealistic in the least.
Post # 6
Member
1007 posts
Bumble bee
@frabrooke: I think like PPs said you should discuss it with him.
But I will throw this out there, is it possible he already has the diamond and he’s talking about the setting with metals/prices? Or maybe he has a yellow gold setting and if you chose white gold he’s talking about the cost of having it rhodium plated?
Post # 7
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
Those all sound like good thoughts. Yes, I think that we’re going to have a lot to talk about during our 22 hour drive home. He throws around this whole moving thing all the time. He talked about it last Christmas, and one of his aunts did actually ask him if he had considered how this would affect me. Things would be perfect if he could get a job in WV where I live, but that’s going to be tough. I had considered that the price that he mentioned could be going towards what he might have gotten if he traded or sold the previous ring.