(Closed) Possible home before engagement

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Would you buy a home with your SO before getting engaged
    Yes, most definitely! A house is more important than a piece of paper/sparkly ring. : (20 votes)
    14 %
    No Way! : (63 votes)
    45 %
    Yes, on the condition that an engagement was definitely imminent. : (44 votes)
    32 %
    Possibly, would depend on the circumstances (will post more below) : (12 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    529 posts
    Busy bee

    There is a good chance that I could end up in this same circumstance at some point so my answer is I would buy the house as long as my name was on every thing and I was very confident that we would be engaged and married soon after. Ideally I would want to be engaged  before we signed anything. House hunting is exciting though isn’t it? We have been looking too but just online. It is hard to see places that are perfect because you don’t want to miss out!  

    Post # 4
    1925 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I would just worry about being legally protected if the relationship doesn’t work out–if you put money into this house, you want to make sure your name is on the contract (I don’t know much about buying houses, so I don’t know the lingo to use).  That would be my only worry.

    Post # 6
    4352 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I couldn’t make that large of a financial decision with another person without being legally married to them first. I feel the same way about kids.

    Post # 7
    7311 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    No. Not just no. Hells no. If a man cannot commit to me in marriage, which costs less than $100, why would I commit $400,000 to him? If he wants to spend the next 30+ years with me (a typical mortgage term), he can marry me first.

    Post # 8
    13096 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Personally I wouldn’t commit to that huge of a financial commitment to someone I wasn’t at least engaged to.  And honestly, I’d have a hard time even doing it during an engagement instead of actually being married.

    Post # 9
    807 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    did buy a home with my Fiance before we were engaged (BUT the title was only in my name, although he did still contribute equally to the mortgage). For us, there were a lot of factors involved in the decision: his career, my career, what made the most sense financially… 

    I looked at it this way: Even though I was waiting for the proposal, I wasn’t putting the rest of my life on hold. It’s not the right decision for everyone but it was the right decision for me, and I have no regrets.

    Post # 10
    1416 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I wont do it. Not saying you shouldn’t but I personally wont. SO wants to buy a house and understands that I wont until we are atleast engaged. I want a house baddd because we live in a one bedroom apartment, it’s not small but we need a backyard for our puppy. Anyway, I was into it a few months ago we looked at a bunch of houses but I felt like if we did buy a house we wouldn’t be getting engaged. I’ll never know if it would have been true or not and as my SO says the rent we pay would have been a morgage payment lol but oh well.


     Good luck on whatever you chose and I am kind of jealous because I want to be buying a houseeee lol

    Post # 12
    83 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    It depends how long you’ve been together and if you’ve seriously discussed a future together.  Also, if you do go buy something, make sure both your names are on the mortgage and the deed to the property. Also, you should probably consult a lawyer to draft up a document that you can both sign explaining how the mortgage payments will be made, how improvements will be paid for, and how the assets will be divided if you were to split.  Lets say one of you is working and the other is unemployed, when you’re making the morgage payments who is actually “paying” for it, and if you were to split how would you handle the splitting of the house in that situation.  If you were married there are already laws in place to help determine this, but if you are not married it makes things like this more complicated.

    Post # 13
    11366 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    My advice may not necessarily be helpful to you, since I am not an advocate of couples living together prior to marriage for many reasons, including some very practical ones.

    I personally think it would be very unwise in your situation to purchase a home with your SO at this stage of your relationship.  You would be combining your finances in a very significant manner, and, if the relationship does not end up becoming permanent, you may have a much more difficult time extracting yourself from the situation than you would have if you had not purchased the home together.

    Post # 16
    4046 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    FH and I bought a house together while engaged. If people give us a hard time about not being married, I like to say that we bought a house which is more than we would’ve spent on the wedding! 

    The topic ‘Possible home before engagement’ is closed to new replies.

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