- 3 years ago
Hello bees! Sorry in advance for the long post. I’ve been in my current role for 2.5 year. It’s an industry with a high turnover rate, and of my team members I’ve been in my role the longest. I wasn’t job searching on purpose, because overall I am happy in my current job – but I came across an amazing job posting in April that was too perfect not to apply for. I had a Skype interview and then an in-person inteview at the beginning of June, and I thought both went very well. They said they would get back to me with a decision in the third week of June, so hopefully next week!
My Darling Husband and I are in the midst of TTC right now. We have been trying for 8 months, and last week I had a laparoscopic surgery for removal of endometriosis, removal of cysts from my ovaries, and an HSG. This procedure should improve our fertility, especially over the next few months. We want a baby more than anything. There is no way I can put off TTC any longer, the 8 months of trying have already been tough on both my Darling Husband and myself. Fertility is supposed to be boosted in the three months after surgery, and I couldn’t live with myself if we waited 3 months to try and then didn’t get pregnant for a long time afterwards. The what-if’s would be too hard.
All this to say… I’m obviously concerned about the possibility that I will get this job, and we will get pregnant soon after. But there is no gaurantee that will get pregnant quickly, it could still be months away. Months ago I decided not to apply to a different position for this reason, and now I know that it wouldn’t have been an issue. I don’t want to let go of this opportunity in the same way, because we “might” get pregnant – this job is truly my dream next job, at the best possible company based on size and distance from home. It cuts my drive time in half, it would be a pay raise, and it has better vacation and sick time, and it requires no travel (unlike my current role) – all great news for starting a family.
In the interview I asked about work life balance, and in my meeting with HR I asked about the maternity leave policy in general. Both answers sounded very positive, although the HR person said she specifically doesn’t work with FMLA/maternity leave, and the person who does wasn’t in that day. Does anyone have advice for how I should handle this situation if I am offered the position? My plan is to ask their policy if someone needs maternity leave, both before and after the one year mark (obviously FMLA comes into play after one year). And then make the best decision I can with that information. Even in my current position, getting more than the typical 6 or 8 weeks off (regular birth/C-section) is not a guarantee. So even if I knew I could only get 6 weeks off if I had a baby before the one year mark in the new job, that wouldn’t necessarily keep me from wanting to accept the position. On the other hand, if they said I could only get 4 weeks (or something similar) that could be a problem.
I’d appreciate any advice! Anyone been in a similar situation, or work in HR and have to deal with something like this? I’m willing to share about our TTC plans if it would be appropriate to do so. But then again, it could happen for us in 4 or 8 or 12 months and not be as much of an issue. Such a tricky situation! I added a poll if you’d like to vote about how much I should share, or not. Thanks in advance for any advice.
ETA: One last question… would it be appropriate in any way to ask for a specific amount of time off for maternity leave, and have that be part of my negotiations for the position? I would just hate to get into the job, get pregnant in month two, and then find out I can only have 3-4 weeks off. (My boss, not HR, is likely the one who would make the final call, whether it’s before 1 year, or after one year with FMLA leave. So I’m afraid HR could say one thing, and my future boss could say another.)