- 3 years ago
I am freaking out a little, because I’m wondering if I just caught my DH in a lie. It’s the first time I’m dubious of his explanation.
So, several months back, I smelled something in the garage trashcan that could only be described as the smell of minty-type skoal. My dad used it when I was little, so I know the smell. I mentioned it to him, and he just played it ignorant. Like, “hmm that’s weird.”
Then, another time, I found a little tin of skoal snus packets. I forget if it was empty or not. But he used to use snus skoal packets before we met. He said he stopped when he came back from a deployment. So it would be reasonably understandable if an old tin was just floating around his work bench for years.
But today, in the kitchen, I saw a lump of brown. I thought it was a small bit of coffee filter wrapped around a tablespoon of wet coffee grounds, until I smelled it. Yep, it’s tobacco.
At this point, I’m heartbroken. I call him up and tell him what I found, and he says he’s been using them on his knuckles to help his psoriasis. He has really painful plaque psoriasis, for which he does not take medication, but uses some prescription creams, and gets injections when the flares are bad. He does have some crazy ideas about home remedies for other things (think of the dad in My Big Fat Greek Wedding with his putting Windex on everything– kind of that kind of crazy), but he’s NEVER mentioned snus for his psoriasis before.
He swore he wasn’t using them, just putting them on his psoriasis breakouts on his hands. I looked it up to see if it’s a remedy other people use, and nothing has come up. Either he’s just so weird that he believes it helps, or he’s lying.
And it’s the possible lie I can’t stand. We’ve always been honest with each other. We never had a discussion where we said “no tobacco products” because neither of us ever used them. We never had to establish that we wouldn’t use them, because we didn’t use them.
I know it’s not the worst lie I could catch him in. But it’s the fact that he might have been concealing his use of tobacco, and is lying to me. That shows a lack of respect and trust. And I’m just sick over it. I don’t even want to sleep in the same house as him right now, I’m just so heartbroken over the possibility that he’s lied to me.
It’s terrible for his health, if he’s using it to “dip”. It’s a gross habit, and I was always turned off by men who dipped.
What are your thoughts?