- 5 years ago
- Wedding: January 2016
So, I’m not sure if this is an issue or not. I tend to overanalyze quite a bit, so I could be making something out of nothing. This is going to take a bit of background to fully explain. The current issue (there are many, but this one I’m unsure of) is that she continually makes remarks that we’re going to have a hard time after we’re married because the first year is always tough. She makes these remarks because we bicker quite a bit and often communicate loudly, but we’re not fighting when this happens, that’s just how we communicate (and sometimes we’re just playing around).
There are major differences between my Future Mother-In-Law and myself – when she got married, she was 22 years old, she went from living at home with her parents to living with her husband overnight, and she’s been relatively sheltered. I ran away from home a month before I turned 18, I’ve been living on my own with no safety net for most of the 10 years since, I’ve been with men before my Fiance, I’ve even been engaged before — and Fiance and I have been living together for 2.5 years.
These are very different lifestyles and situations, and I find it difficult to give credence to her statements that we will have difficulty after the wedding if we “fight” all the time now. (We did fight quite a bit the first year we lived together, but living together has forced us to learn how to get along and actually talk when we have disagreements instead of screaming at each other.) She and Future Father-In-Law also don’t like that we live together and don’t support that we chose to do that, though they’ve mostly dropped that at this stage. It just really irritates me when she tries to draw comparisons between her marriage and ours, because our marriage is going to be starting much differently than hers – we aren’t moving in together, we already live together. Our registry is mostly upgrades and replacements for things we already have because we are well-established in our household, our relationship is strong and getting stronger every day.
I just don’t think that anything is going to be different after we’re legally married. I’ve been told it feels a little different, but I don’t think it’s going to cause a drastic shift in our current relationship dynamic. Sooooo … anyone experience any major changes in relationship after marriage when you were already living together?