(Closed) Possible trigger warning – how many bees here are child free by choice?

posted 7 days ago in No Kids
  • poll:

    Child free by choice

    I want kids/have kids/trying to have kids

    Not sure yet!

  • Post # 2
    4629 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    View original reply
    @lgrand519:  I am currently pregnant with our first, but my sister and her D.H. are CFBC and loving every minute of it!  I’m glad that it’s more “socially acceptable” for couples to do what they want with their lives.  If you and your husband don’t want children, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!  

    Post # 3
    1145 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

    I’m CFBC. Absolutely no desire to ever have kids, and never have done. 

    I think my husband probably would have done if the opportunity had presented itself when he was younger – I think he’d be a great dad. As it is, he was 42 when we met, 50 now (I’m 36), so he’s at the point where he wouldn’t want to have kids so late in life. He’s not bothered by being child free.

    Post # 4
    8370 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Raising Hand GIFs | Tenor

    I don’t personally love children, and I know it’s not “for” me lol. I love my life with my husband and foster dogs. Once corona subsides we’ll go back to travelling the world and planning early retirement. 

    Post # 5
    1648 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2019

    We’re actively TTC our first (and super excited about it), but I know PLENTY of CFBC people (including my very best friend), and I’m glad that it’s becoming more acceptable. I really believe there’s a big societal shift underway, even among older folks. My parents have made it clear my whole adult life that while they’d love to be grandparents, they also would be 100% supportive if we made the decision to skip kids (my sister is a fence sitter). DH’s parents are even better. My Brother-In-Law and SIL dated for like, 6-7 years, then were married for like 5-6 years before they had a kid (they were older, late thirties and early forties). When they didn’t have any kids within a couple of years of being married, everyone just sort of assumed they either couldn’t have them or didn’t want them, so nobody ever asked/commented. My Mother-In-Law was SHOCKED when they announced they were expecting. 

    Also, while more people are becoming cool with “I don’t want kids” as a response to “when do you want kids”, TTC has made it so clear to me that it’s just never an appropriate question, unless it’s your very best friend asking. We’re 6 months in and it sucks to be constantly reminded that it’s not working. My CFBC friend hates having to constantly say “we’re not”, because while she’s confident in her choice, it’s awkward when she doesn’t know how the person will respond. 

    Post # 6
    1399 posts
    Bumble bee

    Never planning to have kids. The thought of pregnancy freaks me out. And on top of that kids are loud and touchy. I don’t do loud and touchy.

    Also, why would this need a trigger warning?

    Post # 7
    3906 posts
    Honey bee

    I am not exactly CFBC because I will have two step sons who are 25 and 26, but I personally will not have any biological children of my own or raise children.

    I definitely wanted children.  I actually divorced my first husband because he decided that he no longer wanted children.  But after my divorce and as I got older, I decided to not focus on that so much and to just find happiness in my life.

    I met my fiance and he is older with older kids and honestly, my life feels complete.  

    Post # 8
    3906 posts
    Honey bee

    View original reply
    @dianaj17:  I agree that people need to stop asking about it.  

    It’s just not appropriate.

    Post # 9
    15194 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I’m not, but I definitely get not wanting to give up the lifestyle of a child free life.  We were together 2 years and married 6 before we had children and felt like we made the most of it… going out, spontaneous international vacations,  3 week trips without having to plan around school days off or making sure it was kid friendly, sleeping in.  Frankly I dunno who has issues with cfbc couples or why it’s not “socially acceptable” i have plenty of friends who don’t have children who are in their 40s and likely won’t and have never given it a thought or thought that they should be. 

    Post # 10
    348 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    I’m currently CFBC, though I am a fence sitter. My husband and I are still young (late 20s), so we are fine being CFBC for the next few years if we decided to change our minds. If I couldn’t have kids for whatever reason, I think I’d be fine with that, as would my husband. We both don’t really have a desire for kids, but if we did it woud just be one and done. We have two dogs to keep us company, and we enjoy being able to do whatever we want whenever we want (pre-COVID). 

    Post # 11
    7398 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I have one and am currently pregnant again, but I did have a period of time where I was fence-sitting. In my area/circle most of my friends were marired and had kids in their early 20’s – before I was even married. I always assumed I’d have kids but there was a period of time where I really had to refelct on exactly what it would mean and how much life would change. I’m used to being independant and doing what I want when I want, and my DH travels for work a lot so I really do usually only have to worry about myself and my wants/needs. For a period of time I was actually considering not having kids because of how much it would change my life. I also think a lot of that has to do with age and often the older you get the more set in your ways you become, and it’s harder to envision making such a big change. In the end we did decide to have kids but it took me almost 3 years to even decide to have a second one. 

    My brother and SIL are CFBC and honestly they never get any crap for it. 

    Post # 12
    2148 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    Childfree by choice here. Fiance and I have no desire for children. It was something we both assumed would happen when we were younger because that’s “just what you do”. But as we entered our 30s, we realized (before we even met) that we didn’t have to want kids. It’s not a requirement to have kids.

    We like sleeping in, leisurely weekends, and really unwinding after work. Traveling. Having disposable income. Potentially planning an early retirement. Spontaneity. 

    We don’t like loud noise and activity and the constant needs of other beings. Dogs are plenty, 

    Personally, I like my body the way it is and already struggle to stay at a healthy weight. I don’t want to go through pregnancy and deal with all of the health risks and changes that come with it. 

    Post # 13
    650 posts
    Busy bee

    I brought some for everyone…


    Post # 14
    14 posts

    What jellybellynelly said! In my 20s I knew it was just not for me. People told me that when I got older I would change but that never happened! My guy and I are so happy to plan our trips and figure out early retirement. 

    Post # 15
    630 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015 - City, State

    View original reply
    @whitepeacock:  You’re not CFBC. CFBC means you know for a fact you never ever want kids. You are a fence sitter, not CFBC.

    I am CFBC.  I have no desire to bring more humans into this world full of suffering. Even if I gave my kids the best life possible, they would suffer because no human being goes through life without suffering. I couldn’t bear to watch that. 

    Also, I like my body the way it is and pregnancy terrifies me. I love having time to myself and don’t want the noise, mess, and responsibility of children.  Traveling is my passion and I don’t want the inconvenience and annoyance of traveling with children and being obliged to do child friendly things. In general, I want to do what I want when I want without being beholden to children. Oh, and my other passion is sleep.

    The topic ‘Possible trigger warning – how many bees here are child free by choice?’ is closed to new replies.

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