(Closed) Possible trigger warning – how many bees here are child free by choice?

posted 8 months ago in No Kids
  • poll:

    Child free by choice

    I want kids/have kids/trying to have kids

    Not sure yet!

  • Post # 106
    Member
    1523 posts
    Bumble bee

    Love to all my CFBC bees!  Esp 

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    @yogahammy:  I really enjoyed being a part of your CFBC thread last time. 😊❤️

    I am firmly and happily CFBC.  This lifestyle is AMAZING and has so many ridiculous perks. Yet so many people are afraid to take that leap of faith into it that it does feel like a ultra secret club that only when you are a true member in every sense of the word can you KNOW what it’s really like.

    To all the fence-sitters, don’t be afraid to come to the “dark” side 😁  Most people will try to scare you that it’ll be awful. But the reality is you will have the freedom and independence to truly create an extraordinary life for yourself that is not afforded to people with kids.

    But it’s also a group that is the most shamed in society and it’s seen as culturally acceptable to sh*t on CFBC’ers. Esp for the women, it’s like not wanting to procreate means there’s something terribly “wrong” with us or we’re very selfish/self-centered people. But it couldn’t be further from the truth. We are some of the most open-minded, fearless, generous/giving, and caring people because we have the time and resources to do so.

    Hugs and a lot of love to all my bees who have taken that leap of faith and are firmly CFBC! We are an amazing group ❤️  

    Post # 107
    Member
    192 posts
    Blushing bee

    View original reply
    @sgmcdowe:  and likewise once again, the post that got everyone so worked up was one simply saying she enjoyed the different side of travelling with kids – she even said that neither was better or worse. That is not picking apart CfBC reasons for anything. If your saying other people outside of this thread and that post pick apart your reasons for not having kids then I believe you, and that’s wrong – but that is not what that post has done and you and others have become defensive about it as tho it was. That is not a “straw man” argument. If anything your making the straw man argument by arguing against people picking apart your reasons for not having kids, in a thread where nobody is. From my POV  It seems your trying to shut down completely reasonable conversation you don’t want to hear by saying other people have been unreasonable to you at other times so everyone must cater to you know. That is unfair.

    And FYI, just because you use a buzzword like “strawman” argument, does not mean you have made some incredible point. Next pp will saying I’m “gaaaslighting” them. 

    From where I stand you are being completely unreasonable and solipsistic.

    Post # 108
    Member
    3151 posts
    Sugar bee

    View original reply
    @Turtles:  You’re either being deliberately obtuse or you didn’t actually read the comment you’re talking about. 

     

    PP wrote: “Wonder a little though why a number of people bring up travel as a benefit of being CFBC”

    and then proceeded to leave multiple comments arguing why that, and greater financial freedom, shouldn’t actually be considered a “benefit.” 

    So yes, you’re quite literally making a strawman argument. No one has a problem with parents sharing why they want to have kids, which is what you keep claiming. The issue arises when parents try to undermine the reasons CFBC share for why they DONT want kids, and that is absolutely what is going on here. 

    “I am done here”

    Mmmmkay heard that one before about 6 pages ago 🙄

     

     

    Post # 109
    Member
    192 posts
    Blushing bee

    View original reply
    @emilyofnewmoon:  If it’s offensive I’ll remove it then.

    See, saying something is a benefit implies just that, that it is beneficial – in this context that it makes travel and finances better – not just different but better. So if the poster thought travelling with kids was just as beneficial she was perfectly free to say so. But she didn’t even do that, she said she “wasn’t sure” why others thought it was beneficial. And that is what got pp so upset? Geeesh. 

    Cos from what I’m seeing here CFBC pp would be pretty upset if someone was bringing up benifets of having kids – which implies said benefits don’t exist if you don’t.So if the shoe was on the other foot and they offhandly mentioned they enjoyed travelling without kids only to have folks with kids jump down their throats I think they’d have quite a different reaction, I think they would feel very attacked (probably much more so than what the original poster did based on what I’ve seen here) and I think they would be demanding understanding and typing out lectures.

    The original language used by CFBC pp implied travel without kids was better than with them – not different, better. And some of them are hopping mad because someone dared to say they enjoyed travelling with kids and it was just different? That’s what being “oppressed” looks like?

    You can say I’m making “literal strawman arguments” if u wish, but that doesn’t make it so.

    Post # 110
    Member
    4403 posts
    Honey bee

    While I am not CFBC, my personal decision to not have/raise children of my own was met with a lot of resistance and judgment from friends, family and strangers.

    I heard everything from “you are going to die alone” to “you will have no identity if you aren’t a parent.”

    And my choice had nothing to do with finances or traveling. I know first hand that you can travel and be financially secure with kids. My choice had to do with being genuinely happy and feeling that my life is complete. That’s all and that is what I tell people when they try to question my choice.

     

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