(Closed) Possible unplanned pregnancy ramble – Advice/support?

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2017

I haven’t been in your position before, but I wanted to offer you a huge HUG, and I will keep you and your family in my thoughts! <3

Post # 4
346 posts
Helper bee

yes, I have been where you were, and i had the baby… she is the most wonderful child ever. I am so blessed. and I raised her alone till recently. also gave birth w no partner. i did it cause she was a child i always wanted and even tho i knew it would be so hard, it made me stronger and love more. best. decision. ever.

Post # 6
1720 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

When I got pregnant this past spring. I was in turmoil. I found out Easter weekend [April 9]. I was set to graduate May 4th. So here I was with this unplanned pregnancy, trying to finish my final practicum papers.

Oh, and I had gotten laid off the night we conceived.

And Fiance was working for a nation wide construction company and was scheduled to move from our current town to Phoenix or Virginia. I had no clue when or where we were moving to, I was stressed about changing doctors, being away from both of our families while PG and with a new baby. My EDD was 12/22/12 which means I would have been in a new town, during the winter, with a new baby, alone all day. That stressed me out to no end.

On 5/23/12 we went for our first ultrasound and there was no heartbeat. It was the most devastating time of my life.

Since May, everything has worked out the way it’s supposed to. Fi took a job here locally, I got hired in my degree field, and I got to stay close to family.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is that everything happens for a reason and everything WILL work out. I’m not sure if you have insurance or not, but if you don’t, see if your state has insurance assistance. We do here called SoonerCare which is available for pregnant women and children. Save every little bit you can and keep encouraging Fiance to keep applying for jobs :). I promise, nine months from now, things will have done a total 180 and you will have a beautiful baby.

 FI and I are now actually looking forward to a positive pregnancy test, rather than dreading it!

Post # 7
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I have been there and I had my baby. I could not imagine my life without her. I would do it all over again. It works out somehow. Just have faith and trust in God. 

Post # 8
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I got pregnant with my daughter when we were both unemployed. Luckily, her father (my first husband) found a decent job halfway through the pregnancy. I kind of crack up when I see posts of couples TTC – in my crowd, ALL of our pregnancies were unplanned. I got pregnant with my daughter while on BC pills! Yeah things were a little rough – breastfeeding and making homemade baby food helped immensely. So did “hand me downs” and shopping at salvation Army. But we made it!

Post # 9
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@trueblue14:  breastfeeding and making homemade baby food helped immensely. So did “hand me downs” and shopping at salvation Army. But we made it!


Post # 10
7680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Not quite the same, but after our two planned children we had an unexpected 3rd. I was starting to get the first symptoms and I remember POASing and being in stunned disbelief. Looking back the timing wasn’t really that bad (still quite close to the first two) but I had always imagined a 2 child family and I was already starting to get back in shape and thinking ahead to returning to work. Suddenly all my plans were set back 3 years, not to mention planning for life with a bigger house and more expenses all round.

Now of course I am sooooooooo happy to have him 🙂

Post # 11
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Might you redirect your wedding money towards this unexpected bundle of joy? If you weren’t planning a cheap wedding, you could just “elope” and use that money for expenses. If you were already doing a cheap wedding, I agree with trueblue.

Post # 12
346 posts
Helper bee

also, I really didnt find having a baby to be expensive. I breastfed, birthed at home, had hand me down and like new clothing from thrift stores… (I was working) the only real cost was a new car seat, bouncy chair and pack n play to have her sleep next to my bed when I took shower, cleaned house.

Post # 13
5544 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

If you have a habitat re store near you, they have baby clothes for a buck and they are like new! Also, I know some people don’t want to be “supported by the goverement” but medicaid and WIC are made for people who cant afford prenatal/birthing costs and food. I would look into that for sure. No shame in taking help that is intended for situations exactly like this! Also, you said you are in college, look into what  your campus has available. I know mine has an organization to assist new mothers who are students to get stuff like diapers and clothes and stuff while they are trying to finish school too. See what friends and relations with kids are willing to give you too that they aren’t using anymore. I hope everything turns out for the best

Post # 14
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@AnonBee7898:  Hug!! It’ll be ok.

I think that you can make it work if you have to. It won’t always be easy.

Babies need a roof over their heads, warmth, food, and love. You can give that. A baby doesn’t know if it’s not dressed in brand new clothes from Baby Gap or if it has less toys than other babies.

This will be a large adjustment and timing definitely sucks, but you will make it through this.

Post # 15
5107 posts
Bee Keeper

I’ve not been where you are, but I’m sorry for everything you are going through!

Post # 16
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

You can do this and since you crossed abortion off list I can suggest taking the wedding funds and eloping somewhere cheap to get married , when your money allows you can always renew your vows but baby trumps wedding … 

You can do this there are so much support for preggo mommys and they will help. The goverment WILL offer food assistance and child care.

Just be proactive and use all your resources and ask for help 🙂  

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