Post # 1
So my best friend/ bridesmaid kicked her husband to the curb today cause he’s a scumbag. I don’t say that lightly, he just has done everything that a husband should NEVER do, but that’s besides the point. He is the kind of guy though that will show up at the wedding because the invite was Mr. and Mrs. John Doe, just to be a jerk to her. She does not want to see him so he will show up to just be like now you have to see me you know? Is there a polite way I can tell him to not show up? I only say polite cause I hate being mean. Plus I do not want to be in the middle of their marriage/possible divorce cause I can just tell it is going to be ugly and it’s not place anyway.
The best man is traveling from Nebraska to NY for the wedding. He may or may not be bringing his fiance, it depends on whether or not they have the money for her to come. Now if she comes (I love her so thats not an issue) she will bring her two kids ages 9 & 11 (i think) simply because she has no one she trusts to leave them with in Nebraska. Now we aren’t having kids at our wedding. i politely mentioned it to her right after we got engaged in December by saying I’m really sorry but we aren’t having any children at wedding and also since none of our friends or family have children their age they would probably be really bored. Now in conversations with her her and Mr. Best Man they are kind of hinting at bringing them with them. I don’t know how to kindly say again that we don’t want children at the wedding. I understand their situation, I really do, the thing is my parents are graciously paying for most of the wedding and its more or less their rule. I’m stuck between a rock and hard place cause the last thing I want to is offend the best man and his family and I don’t want to go against my parents wishes either.
Post # 3
Not sure about #1, but with situation #2 I would just tell the best man and his FI that if they travel with their children you would be more than happy to help them find a sitter for the wedding. That way you are politely reminding them of the no children wedding.
Post # 4
#1 I would wait until closer to the wedding before doing/saying anything to anyone. They wouldn’t be the first couple to get back together even with major problems and it would be very awkward if they are back to being a couple and you have asked him not to come.
#2 Ditto with the pp. i would approach them with an offer to line up a sitter in case they are able to bring the children. Where are they staying of they do come? Many hotels have professional childcare available by prior arrangement.
Post # 5
@shootznladrz89: Not sure how your venue works, but maybe talk to the coordinator the day before, and let him know that you might have a party crasher who will need to be told to leave. I had told my coordinator that I was concerned of a particular relative of mine showing up, and he told me to just point her out so he could ask her to leave.
As for the 2nd issue, I have been to weddings where the “NO CHILDREN” reminder was everywhere, including on the invitation. People still brought their kids. I would suggest what the other bees said and offer to help find a sitter. Not sure how well that will go over, seeing as she doesn’t even trust anyone from where she lives, but it is worth a shot. Plus, you can casually mention to the best man how the seating arrangements are so hard because you have a limit to the number of tables, and every table is pretty much full and trying to rearrange other people who are there in odd numbers(like aunts/uncles with cousins from each side), even if that isn’t the situation. Maybe if you imply that there will be no physical room for the kids at the tables, that will deter her.