(Closed) Possibly giving up my cats.

posted 4 years ago in Pets
Post # 31
Member
87 posts
Worker bee

Could you maybe just keep your cats upstairs or downstairs? 

 

*edit* sorry I just realized you said you bought a tiny home.

I would not give up my cats for anyone. There is always another solution, you just need to find it. Don’t fall back on giving them up, get creative. 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 12 months ago by  carrotqueen.
Post # 32
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

This is a manageable problem, thus I would not give up the cats. 

Post # 33
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee

We may be missing the part that Mother-In-Law actually PAID for the tiny home.

Post # 34
Member
2127 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

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rabbitgirl:  In all honesty, I don’t even know why this is a question. Keep your cats! Your Mother-In-Law would be insane even to ask you to get rid of them. In future you’ll just have to visit her.

Post # 35
Member
2127 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

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leilarobs2:  I didn’t miss that part. I just don’t see how it’s relevant. Regardless of Mother-In-Law paying for the house, OP should keep her cats. They’re family. It’s unfortunate that she’s so allergic, but she can just not go there. Easy solution.

Post # 36
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee

Adoption is a lifetime commitment, so no, I wouldn’t give up my cat. 

As others have said, there are many solutions to this problem, like visiting your Mother-In-Law at her house and not doing your laundry there. She should also seek a second opinion, as there are several types of allergy treatments available and I would be quite surprised if none of them are an option for her.

Post # 37
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee

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BubblesandCupcakes:  True! And the houses are very close. Just because the Mother-In-Law might not spend time in OP’s living room doesn’t mean they can’t see each other all the time.

Post # 38
Hostess
9128 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

View original reply
rabbitgirl:  I would never give my cats up and to be honest the issues most people have with their Mother-In-Law it sounds like the dream ticket of the fact she can’t just impose on your home but you can walk out of your front door and go and visit her in your home. Just don’t do laundry there. That would appear to me to be the solution. I would never ever give my cats up, but like others have said, yours is more of a legit problem than half that we read about here, but I don’t think giving them away is the only solution.

Post # 39
Member
1126 posts
Bumble bee

It’s a sad situation and a shame but I would 100% keep my cats. The only reason I would ever give them up would be if my future child had a severe allergy. Even then I would hope I could pass them onto a family member or friend so I could still see them.

I hope you can work something out OP, I can imagine this is very difficult no matter what choice you make.

Post # 40
Member
6263 posts
Bee Keeper

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rabbitgirl:  “Its not laundry that is the problem. It’s that she would literally never be able to enter our home.”

sounds ideal!

Post # 41
Member
374 posts
Helper bee

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rabbitgirl:  I didn’t read all of the other posters comments but it sounds like some of them are missing the fact that even if she does not come to your house, the dander on your clothes is still likely enough to cause severe hives at her house. I would be super sad to get rid of my kitty but in this case, (personal opinion) I think its necessary. allergies get worse with time, (I need an epipen for an allergy-trust me, don’t mess with it). There is a big risk her allergy can escalate, its not worth the risk.

 

Could your parents, a relative or close friend possibly take your cats? That way you still get to see them?

Post # 43
Member
3874 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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rabbitgirl:  I’m allergic to cats and have been my entire life. We always had cats growing up. I eventually got over the allergy and now own two cats of my own. My best friend is deathly allergic to cats, we just hang out at her place. It has never been a problem.

I’m sorry you’re in this situation, but your Mother-In-Law would “feel terrible” if you kept the cats and she couldn’t come to your house? Shouldn’t she feel MORE terrible for making you give up your cats? Personally, I’d find a different living arrangement and just see Mother-In-Law at her house. You aren’t keeping her out due to spite, but for her health. I could not imagine giving up the cats I’ve raised since kittens because someone in DH’s family has an allergy and may come by on occassion. How often do you see MIL?

Sorry, I’m siding with your cats. You adopted them as forever pets. You owe it to them to find a solution that does not involve being dropped off at a shelter.

Post # 44
Member
6914 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Looking back at the OP, if she reacted so badly just because you were doing laundry at her house…this means that her just being in the presence of dander is a problem. Or was she helping you do laundry and rubbing some of your clothes against her skin? If thats why her reaction was so bad, easy solution: dont have her help with youryour laundry ever again. Otherwise I honestly don’t understand how she goes out in public then. If she bumps into a person at the store that has a cat, does she immediately get hives and have to go to the ER? Are you 100% sure that her reaction was due to you having cats and washing your clothes? Because that’s just a really strong and debilitating reaction. Has she never had a person in her home who has owned a cat?

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 12 months ago by  llevinso.
Post # 45
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Do what you think is best.  I understand wanting Mother-In-Law to be able to visit.  I also understand wanting to feel like you can visit her house without freshly laundering all of your clothes to try to get the dander out.

For all of the people saying they’d NEVER get rid of their cats, I hope you never plan to have children.  If your children happen to be very allergic to cats, do you plan on giving away the baby???

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