Post # 1
i dont even know where to begin with this one, and i honestly was thinking about using my anon account originally for this, cause personally im embarrased. But at the age of 32 im really starting to stress out and panic about what the future may hold for me. I struggled in school all my life, tried to do college but i think i cried myself to sleep 4 out of 5 nights through that experience, eventually ended up working in kitchens as a line cook, which i do enjoy. But i never had enough drive in the beginning like most cooks do, its a competitive industry and by the time i got into it i was at the end of my rope so to speak. Im content with what im doing but not truly happy. I always have envisioned going back to college one day, but i really have no set interests on one thing, ive never really been 100% sure of myself in making the right life lasting decision, ive almost always have had to learn the hard way through everything, and dont even know if id be making the right decision by going back for something im not 100% positive on.
I look at my husband who is successful, driven, supportive and makes great money, while personally my biggest accomplishment in life was when i became a mom. But now i feel like i have let not only myself down with poor decisions, but my husband and my childs future as well. I want to make a change, but im still paying off technical school debt and feel like a loser. All my friends or old friends are successful, travel, buying houses, living life. And while my husband incredibly supports me financially, i feel like i have put a burden on him to financially support our small family, cause my salary is so low.
I dont know how to get out of this hard spot that on a personal level i have been struggling mentally for years. Has anyone been in my position before and somehow later in life finally found their passion and was able to pull themselves out of a rough spot.
Post # 2
ME! im back in college, studying a completely different field at the ripe young age of 36! My classmates are a mixed bunch, half are older than me and are following their passion. I totally feel you and in your shoes would try and brainstorm ideas of what I would like to do- you don’t have to make any drastic changes right now, just open your mind to the world of possibilities.
Also, if you’re a chef or have kitchen experience/ have experience with food, would you ever try baking on the side/catering small events? Could rent a cheap booth at a food festival /local market and sell some small home-made food items, give out your business card. Perhaps a small specialty shop (from home,no overhead costs except small licensing fee) that you run yourself, taking only as many orders as you want, without the pressure of working in a busy traditional kitchen could be a good idea?
Post # 3
I think it’s safe to say you are not alone and we all go through this. I would only go back to school if you can commit. It isn’t easy and it won’t be. Depending on how many credits you earned when you first started, you may be able to transfer credit and can go into a fast track, there are plenty of online schools who offer this, but i would go with one that is accredited. I work in higher education, and am in my last semester of my masters and by no means was it easy, I did it while I was pregnant and raising my daughter. Thankful for my husband but I can’t tell you the amount of times I cried and wanted to throw in the towel. You need to want to do it for yourself before doing it for your DH or LO. If you don’t know what you want to do in school, go online and look at what different programs are offered at campuses or online. Then reach out to advisors within those programs.
Post # 4
Would it be possible to try out some classes at a community college to see what interests you? That would be a low financial commitment and you don’t want anymore debt unless it’s definitely going to lead to a job/ career where you can easily pay it off.
You could also look into doing a side job from home to make some extra money.
Also, don’t downplay your biggest accomplishment being a mom. That’s a major accomplishment and an important job in and of itself!
I am pregnant and I know giving birth will be my biggest lice accomplishment so far even though I have degrees and a career I love because to me nothing is more important than family.
Best of luck!
Post # 5
I think college and having a career is overrated. You can provide so much value for your family without having a traditional career. There are so much money that are saved up just by you helping out around the house or educating your children yourself. Being able to keep the family healthy mentally and physically is already a huge accomplishment. A lot of women I know take out a lot of debt to go to four year traditional college for basically a degree to market themselves to men, and they always knew they wanted to be a Stay-At-Home Mom. There’s no need to change your life out of shame. Feminism should be acknowledging everyone could provide value with the decisions they make. My husband is an engineer but when we have kids he will be a Stay-At-Home Dad, because that’s what we think will provide the most value. plus, you can always go back to school at any age!
having a career is great too, but you should never be ashamed of “just being a mom.” It’s good to change your life for the better out of drivenness, but you should never feel inadaquate for being in the great position you’re in! So many people are never going to be great mothers who are emotionally considerate and mature, and no need to measure everyone on one conventional standard: being a mom is an amazing accomplishment. However, if you do want to have a career, I think it’ll be great to explore different industries! Like PP said; community college is a good start. You can sit in at local colleges to see if you enjoy certain classes. And take an online quiz!l for your personality and the careers that suit you! these helped me so much. If you’re into business, I suggest doing a rotational internship that places you in different areas, even for no income for a part time job, just to explore your options. And I agree with PP, you can make great money catering to weddings! Don’t remind me the cost of my small reception cater 😉
Post # 6
Besides the point but I don’t think you’re having a quarter life crisis- this is just a reasonable thing to consider (also congrats on your plan to live past 120!).
Being a cook is a hard job. My husband is a sous and we talk all the time about his career path, but he loves it and he works extremely hard to be management.
Right now unemployment is extremely low so I’d actually recommend looking at other service jobs with better management tracks that have comparable skills- working in a large hotel in culinary or conceirge immediately comes to mind. I’d less reccommend going back to school, bc I think you could look for other jobs and find them if you demonstrate transferable skills and you probably have good skills.
Can you talk to a career counselor? A good one should give you some confidence about where and when to apply.
Post # 7
Are you interested in health care? Registrar jobs also known as Patient Access at hospitals have decent pay where I live and you can work any of the three shifts 7-3 3-11 and 11pm-7am. You get an upclose view of what happens in a hospital. YOu can advance to Authorizations/Referrals and or Billing. A lot of people wind up going to nursing school, rad tech school, resp therapy….partially paid by the hospital. I think its a great field to get into if you don’t have a degree.
Post # 8
yes and no, my strong suits are definitely NOT science and math soo.. but what would that job title be officially called or what is it exactly. Again i do not have a degree only a two year associates degree.
i wasnt a 100% on the actual term, i figured a mid life crisis was a bit older then what i am (32).
Post # 9
the struggle i face now is for what im doing i get paid pretty well (not great but better then other places) I work for a billion dollar tourist industry (trying to stay a little anon on WB) If i were to leave for a regular old chain restaurant i would have to take a pretty big paycut, and i really just dont want to do that at the age of 32.
there are other family things going on that i think are also making me overthink and stress. My husband might be getting his big promotion, which means yes more money! but boo more hours! so i might be possibly becoming a Stay-At-Home Mom in the near future, which is stressing me out as well. But these are things that are out of my control and basically sitting and waiting to see what happens currently.