Post Break-Up Breakdowns….

posted 2 months ago in Relationships
Post # 16
1481 posts
Bumble bee

sweetdee89 :  I think what you are feeling is totally normal. I had a guy I dated before i met my current boyfriend. 

The realtionship was on and off for 6 months and even though we never were official it hit me super hard. I had to really quietly go through why it was that I was taking it so hard when it was never even a relationship. It made me realize that I had seen this guy as some kind of “answer” to my life. He had his own house, and was super tall and VERY attractive and without realizing it I had become addicted to the idea of marrying a man like him. He in actuality wasn’t great at all, had a lot of issues and would not have been a good fit. But when he ended it I just felt so bad about myself and i couldn’t stop thinking about what if. Once I realized it was the idea of him rather than him I made a lot of progress. 

It also made me realize that I wanted to be the best person I could be, well rounded, healthy, well spoken and read so that I could go back out there and date with more confidence in myself. I wanted to be the best version of me so that i didn’t fall into the trap again of thinking that a guy was going to elevate my life to where i wanted it to be. I needed to be proud of my life as it was and that as long as I was dating and looking for someone else to make my life exciting I was always going to get really hurt. 

So seriously use this time to work on yourself and make your life everything you are proud of and excited about. It makes dating so much easier when you feel like your life is so awesome that you have a lot to contribute to a relationship. Then you are only asking the guy to come half way, not take you all the way on his back. Hope that helps some. Hugs bee! 

Post # 19
1481 posts
Bumble bee

sweetdee89 :  good for you! I also read the book, have him at hello. I found it on amazon and read it on my phone in one night. It was super helpful for me getting back out into the dating scene and really got me to figure out how to get a handle on some bad dating habits I had developed when an insecure teenager that i needed to set aside. Great book. Made me much more confident getting out there again. 

Post # 21
2218 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

sweetdee89 :  I’m sorry Bee ๐Ÿ™ I think crying is completely normal and totally understandable. Just because you know you did the right thing doesn’t necessarily make it easy. 

I’ve definitely had relationships like that and now they just make me laugh. You’ll find someone way better and remember these days and laugh! I know it doesn’t sound possible now but it’s true.  

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