Post # 16
sweetdee89 : I think what you are feeling is totally normal. I had a guy I dated before i met my current boyfriend.
The realtionship was on and off for 6 months and even though we never were official it hit me super hard. I had to really quietly go through why it was that I was taking it so hard when it was never even a relationship. It made me realize that I had seen this guy as some kind of “answer” to my life. He had his own house, and was super tall and VERY attractive and without realizing it I had become addicted to the idea of marrying a man like him. He in actuality wasn’t great at all, had a lot of issues and would not have been a good fit. But when he ended it I just felt so bad about myself and i couldn’t stop thinking about what if. Once I realized it was the idea of him rather than him I made a lot of progress.
It also made me realize that I wanted to be the best person I could be, well rounded, healthy, well spoken and read so that I could go back out there and date with more confidence in myself. I wanted to be the best version of me so that i didn’t fall into the trap again of thinking that a guy was going to elevate my life to where i wanted it to be. I needed to be proud of my life as it was and that as long as I was dating and looking for someone else to make my life exciting I was always going to get really hurt.
So seriously use this time to work on yourself and make your life everything you are proud of and excited about. It makes dating so much easier when you feel like your life is so awesome that you have a lot to contribute to a relationship. Then you are only asking the guy to come half way, not take you all the way on his back. Hope that helps some. Hugs bee!
Post # 17
ladyjane123 : Thank you for your response. It does help quite a bit! The idea of him and the excitement he brought is what I was holding on to and made me ignore the red flags. It came to a head when I realized who he really was and how lazy and how he would put me second to a hobby. I stopped going to the gym and that is one thing I will make sure doesn’t happen again.
It also made me realize some dealbreakers for me and has made me stronger with holding to them and not compromising on them 🙂
I’m turning 30 in April and have some plan I never would have made for myself before like taking a solo vacation and getting my motorcycle license 😉
Post # 18
hrtsnstrs : My period has ended and I’ve been totally fine now! Ha. I”m sorry you had a hard time with yours. Hope you are now in a better place and happy 🙂
Post # 19
sweetdee89 : good for you! I also read the book, have him at hello. I found it on amazon and read it on my phone in one night. It was super helpful for me getting back out into the dating scene and really got me to figure out how to get a handle on some bad dating habits I had developed when an insecure teenager that i needed to set aside. Great book. Made me much more confident getting out there again.
Post # 20
ladyjane123 : I’ll have to check it out! I have battled horrible insecurities all my life which stem from being an overweight teen and into my early 20’s.
Post # 21
- Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse
sweetdee89 : I’m sorry Bee 🙁 I think crying is completely normal and totally understandable. Just because you know you did the right thing doesn’t necessarily make it easy.
I’ve definitely had relationships like that and now they just make me laugh. You’ll find someone way better and remember these days and laugh! I know it doesn’t sound possible now but it’s true.