Post # 1
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
My surprise bridal shower was yesterday afternoon. I must admit that I was a little surprised that my MOHs and mom were able to pull it off. It was at the Hilton which kind of wowed because I didn’t think that it was in their budget. I was happy for the thought until I found out a few background details.
Somehow it slipped out from someone that my shower wasn’t originally going to be in that location. My Fiance intervened to make sure that they gave me the shower that he felt that I deserved. He had in fact reserved the banquet room and even selected the menu. I was in shock that it was my Fiance (who like me is dealing with the shananagans of planning our wedding and his own bachelor party) who had to jump in and save my shower because my MOHs (yes two of them) were not capable even with assistance from my mom. Talk about a complete let down.
During the shower, my best friend/ Maid/Matron of Honor dissappeared without even saying good bye just before I sat down to open gifts. In fact she didn’t even give a gift even though my Fiance and his mom absorbed most of the cost of the shower. I’m happy that my Fiance was sweet enough to do this and not want me to know a thing about efforts but it just hurts knowing that my friend of 20 years was okay with letting me down and allowing my Fiance to plan a bridal shower. Really!?! This Maid/Matron of Honor hasn’t really done a thing to be supportive during this entire process though I’ve always been in her corner for her and her family. I think that her Bridesmaid or Best Man dress has been sitting at the dress shop for a month. I think this was the straw that just broke this camel’s back. Sadly we’re a little over a month out but I’m ready to either demote her to a bm or better yet remove her from the wedding all together. Is this crazy of me?
Post # 3
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
First of all I’m really sorry if there issues going on here with one of your moh and you should try to speak to her when or if you are calm. Leaving the shower early without saying goodbye is rude. As for the gift sometimes people give one sometimes they don’t and I wouldn’t hold it againist her.
The second thing is I hope you can ask yourself if your bridal shower had happen somewhere else,under different circumstances would it have been good? I would give these girls the benefit of the doubt. It sounds like your Fi and Family intervened to plan the type of shower they wanted. Just because your friends weren’t planning to host a shower at the Hilton doesn’t mean that they were going to host a sucky shower. I have hosted home showers, resturant showers and a Tea shower at the Langham Hotel, the cost was split but it came out nearly 2,000 dollars. It’s quite possible your friends didn’t have or want to spend all of that money on your shower. Hosting at a variety of places I can tell they were all nice.
I don’t know about your prior relationship with Moh but wedding planning can be stressful and cause us to lose perspective. I urge you to really think past your wedding day, and what important and if you are truly ready to end a friendship over wedding party drama. If the question is yes, and you don’t have any lingering feelings about this. Then go ahead.
Finally you are marrying a great guy and it sounds like your Fi has gone above and beyond and really loves you. Which at the end of all these events is what truly matters.
Post # 4
Member
46329 posts
Honey Beekeeper
Until you have a chance to speak with her, I wouldn’t rush to judgement.
Perhaps your MOH’s and mom had something planned and your Fiance made them feel like what they had planned was not good enough.
Him stepping in and reserving the room and changing the menu could be interpreted by them as being very critical of their plans.Not knowing the whole story, my immedaite reaction was that what he did was inappropriate. How would you feel if you planned a shower for your BFF and her Fiance changed all your plans?
Perhaps she had kept a smile on her face for as long as she could. Perhaps she chose to leave rather than explode or break down in public. It wasn’t polite for her to leave,but I don’t think what your Fiance did was polite either.
