- 4 years ago
Bees, hoping for help. Feeling discouraged.
Last night FI & I went to our last counselling session (pre-requisite for our priest) It was based on communications & problem solving. How we do it.
I KNOW I’m a slight control freak. Type A – planner & all the rest. FI – complete opposite. And we acknowledge that & try to work with it. It came out that our little arguments are based on silly stuff. FI doesn’t do chores to ‘my’ standard ( = to me, it’s a livable standard). The resolution suggested was for me to ‘let go’ , ‘delegate’ & allow FI to continue with what he does otherwise I will be the one taking on ALL of the responsibility ….. umm ok, but i don’t want to live in a pig house. if you are goign to the effort of doing it, just do it properly.
Tables turned, FI mentioned something I do that annoys him. Her suggestion? Because it’s his problem, it now becomes MY problem so TOGETHER we have to find a way to resolve it.
Huh? Why doesn’t the latter appy to both?
I literally had to fight back tears throughout the session & on the way back to the car. I felt as if I single handly was ruining any chance this relationship has. I was trying to brush it off. Until FI’s first comment was…’whooa, you really got a big telling off haha’.
This upset me even more. I have been unsure to handle it all including my ‘obsessivenes’ going forward. My current solution? Have become withdrawn & haven’t been able to have a conversation with him since. Clearly this won’t work going forward.
Bees, I am too sensitive? Taking it too personal? (Well, it WAS a direct criticism of ME). I’m unsure how to deal with this & any advice is appreciated.