Post # 1
My husband and I spontaneously eloped a month ago and his parents want to throw a party later this month in his hometown. I don’t know why, I just feel weird/awkward about it. Maybe because I’ve never been to one of these and, while I like parties, I get nervous with attention. I’m also a little worried I’ll feel out of place because it will be all his friends and family since I don’t know anyone in his hometown and wouldn’t expect my friends to travel for this.
Has anyone done this or been to one of these? Is it weird to be like “Hey come celebrate this wedding none of you were invited to?” Is that gift grabby? Should we specifically say we don’t want/expect gifts? Do we need to do any wedding traditions like me wearing white, having a first dance, speeches, etc.?
DH and his family keep asking me for my thoughts and opinions on different aspects of the party. I am so grateful to them for taking the time and initiative to do all this as it seems like it has become quite a job, but I don’t know what to tell them or what to expect.
Can anyone offer me some do’s and don’ts here?
Post # 2
Sounds like a great opportunity to become acquainted with the family and friends of the man you married. If you don’t want traditional aspects of a wedding reception ask your in-laws to keep it intimate and casual such as a house party to just acknowledge your marriage.
As for gift grabby, just don’t create a registry. If people want to gift you they will.
I’m not sure there are any hard do’s or don’ts. Plan an event that you are comfortable with, something that is authentic to who you are as a couple.
I eloped a few weeks ago and initially planned on hosting a 16 person catered party at my home. This would be for our immediate family only. I would have worn a knee length or slightly shorter dress, color undecided. No speeches, nothing traditional just another reason to gather family together to wine, dine and talk. We have since decided against this idea because its inconvenient for half our family as they are many, many states away. We will celebrate in our own way when we see our family or friends.
Post # 3
We didn’t want anything like this either, because half the reason we eloped was to keep things private. But his family insisted on throwing a small shindig, which we dubbed a “non-reception party”. I didn’t wear white and only one person brought a gift. There was also the most weddingy non-wedding cake ever, which we were made to cut together, but other than that, it was just an excuse to get together with family. In the end, I didn’t mind it at all!
Post # 4
Fiance and I are “eloping” with just our parents and siblings this November. I’m very close to family and friends though so I wanted to do something with everyone when we got back to celebrate. We decided on a “cake & punch” reception at our church. We’re going to have a dessert bar and refreshments. Minimal decorations.
There will be no “wedding traditions” ie cake cutting, dancing, etc. More a come eat cake with us see some of our wedding pictures and lets have fun. We don’t want gifts either so have pushed back to fmil on creating a registry. We just want to celebrate with family and friends upon our return.
I think this would be a great way to meet his family and friends. Just make it authentic to you and your husbands personality and you’ll enjoy it.
Post # 5
Nope, I think it defeats the purpose of eloping. We’ve decided just to take our parents to tea on the Saturday after we leave our BnB; we’ll go to a swish restaurant and let them know that we’re married and hopefully have some champers, cake, good food and share photos 🙂
Post # 6
if they want to throw it for you then you might as well let them go for it. They are probably just looking for a way to feel involved. Maybe tell them that you don’t really know what an elopemet party is becuase you haven’t been to one but you would be fine if they threw one, just keep it casual and tell you the time and date to show up. Maybe they will get the picture. I also HATE attention but i would probably be fine with a brunch with close family and friends or something. outline a couple options that you would be okay with, and have them go from there.