- 5 years ago
- Wedding: March 2013
I think I am losing the plot and its scaring the hell out of me. I have always been an independent woman and even slightly commitment phobic. I am 30 and recently engaged and honestly speaking my fiance is actually the first man I ever loved, since I really didn’t want to be vulnerable to anytime and was okay being single.
He is pretty much everything I wanted and loves me and more importantly respects me. Even our fights/disagreements never turn ugly and after we resolve them, our relationship feels stronger (something which even he agrees on).
When we were dating, I loved the fact that we had individual interest and believed in giving space. However, post the engagement, I have started becoming over-sensitive to everything and sometimes feel resentful. If he is playing golf on a Sunday, it just bugs me, even though he will have dinner with me post that. If he doesn’t call or text me in the day, I start getting anxious that his feelings have lessened. Like yesterday we had lunch and spent the whole day together and he dropped me home around 8PM to catch a late night game at his place. I just got hurt that he didn’t want to do dinner (though I didn’t tell him that). Post match he called me to chat with me and I went to bed happy. Now its 4 pm and he hasn’t text to call and I keep thinking about him.
Also these days everything about him annoys me. When he smokes, or takes a drink (he is not an alcoholic, but drinks 4-5 drinks when we are at a party, or share a bottle of wine with friends), even his eating habits. All this I was aware of while we were dating. but suddenly after engagement, I take everything personally!
I DONT KNOW WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH ME and just wanna slap some sense into me. The logical side in me thinks I am ridiculous and know its self-destructive. But the other side of me just keeps thinking he is bored or the love is diminishing.
I also feel that my expectations are too much from this engagement period and my need to be perfect is another cause. I was never like this during our dating period, but since the engagement, I am turning into a nutcase.
We don’t live together, and our around 45 miles apart (he always come to my side of the town ). We do go out around 3-4 times a week for dates etc. And speak to each other on the phone every night even for like 15 minutes. Of course when we were dating our phone calls were always longer and there were always some cute text messages for me in the morning.
I just have a general feeling of being let down, which I don’t understand. Everyone around me loves my fiance and think he is a great guy. More importantly they keep telling me that its obvious he really cares for me. But why do I have self-doubts? Any advice would help.
Also I have taken off from work because of the wedding and sometimes feel over-whelmed that my life revolves around him and the wedding, whereas he has other stuff going on.
I swear I am usually a normal person, but this whole situation is screwing up my brain!