Post engagment jealousy from other people?

posted 2 months ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
72 posts
Worker bee

I’m definitely someone who keeps my mouth shut about my personal life at work. That said though, I’d never hide my engagement ring. Wear it with pride!  

Post # 4
Member
983 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

I’m not sure why you’re jumping from a colleague telling a superior about a problem and the superior being vague in correcting you to people being jealous of your engagement. I mean, obviously the higher-up felt like there was enough of a problem to follow up on, and the fact that they failed to explicitly spell things out for you sucks but you’re making a pretty far leap here. The colleague must have had SOMETHING to complain about besides you being engaged and it making her sad, because if not there wouldn’t have been any follow-up from management.  Why not just go back to the person who spoke with you and say you aren’t clear on what you did wrong and take it from there? It could all be a misunderstanding.

Post # 5
Member
4256 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I also don’t really understand the situation, or why you are afraid of wearing your ring out of fear of more spite.  She just got married, what do you think she is jealous of? 

At work I am never one to tattle on co workers and even fix issues w/out telling anyone.

This is fine for you to choose but honestly it doesn’t help anyone in the long term.  If there is a problem or someone is doing something wrong it is best to be up front with everyone so the situation doesn’t continue.  If there is a genuine issue with a coworker, whether that is with their work or their attitude etc I do not see that as “tattling”. 

If you don’t want to share wedding plans with your colleagues then don’t but I’m not sure what happened with this particular coworker was in any way linked to your engagement. 

Post # 6
Member
1016 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

overthemoon2018 :  something is missing. A bad day at work doesn’t equal people are jealous of engagement.

Life for me hasn’t been easy and 10 years ago, I didn’t even think I’d turn out to be anything in life.  Why can I not be happy?  I love my ring, but I’m terrified of wearing it for fear of more spite.”

Huh? Do you think your ring makes people want to make your life worse? What kind of ring do you have? Do you feel like getting engaged has made you become something more in life? Actually why aren’t you happy?

Post # 8
Member
928 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think someone can bring up something that you failed to do, did wrong, or made an error over regarding work performance and have a superior pull you away to discuss it wit you unless you DID that thing. So redirecting the conversation that was had in a meeting that specifically warned you about job security should have you focused on the errors that were made, not someone’s preceived jealousy.

This sounds like what should be a wake up call for you to focus on your career. Do not dismiss that discussion as a “jealousy” from a co-worker event. 

That aside, I often keep work life and home life separate as I believe they don’t belong together. Neither do coworkers and social media, for that matter. So you do not have to tell them anything further about your engagement, pending wedding, or wear your ring if you truly feel uncomfortable.

 

Post # 11
Member
928 posts
Busy bee

overthemoon2018 :  It can be a wake up call about the quality of your performance. You said that you don’t “tattle” on coworkers and even “fix issues without telling anyone.”  You are vague about what you were spoken to about, but generally when job performance is brought up in a meeting, it is because performance was either unacceptable or below expectations. Are you saying that the reprimand in this case was for a made up thing?

Post # 12
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Lol what did you do though? 

Post # 14
Member
983 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

You’d do really well to stop thinking of reporting work problems as tattling. It’s a playground term used to make bullied children feel bad about asking adults for help; it’s got no place in the workplace.  It’s possible the vibe you picked up on with your co-worker was because she realized there was a problem with your productivity bad enough that she’d need to report it, and she was feeling angry or guilty about that. At any rate, if your boss is threatening your job security, then screw worrying about who’s jealous of what or whether you should wear a ring and FIND OUT what you’re supposed to be doing and to what degree. You owe that to yourself.

Post # 15
Member
1017 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

Um. I really don’t think it’s because of getting engaged. 

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