Post engagment jealousy from other people?

posted 4 months ago in Proposals
Post # 16
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2020

I don’t know that there is enough to make a connection between getting engaged and getting talked to at work.  Is your engagement really taking up that much space in their thoughts? 

Post # 17
Member
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

overthemoon2018 :  I add coworkers on LinkedIn only. I got rid of Facebook altogether, I text or email anyone who needs to know what’s going on in my personal life. I’m not engaged but I’ve received negative comments and attitudes about my body, age, etc. from older women, despite treating them with respect. Some people are just like this, you can’t change that. Think of the thought and care your fiance put into picking our your ring, and wear it proudly. If someone asks, you can give that person as much or as little detail as you like – anything from “it’s in the fall” to “I prefer not to discuss my personal life at work”. Be generic and vague, or direct if you prefer. Tell them it’s a small wedding of family only if that works. People who notice you now wear a ring might ask, but you don’t have to tell people yourself if you’re not comfortable. People get married, it’s a normal part of life and they shouldn’t overreact to that.

 

As for this specific woman, it sounds like she wanted a WEDDING more than a MARRIAGE, she may be jealous that her wedding has passed. There is nothing you can do to curb her behavior except be polite and professional.

Post # 18
Member
1777 posts
Buzzing bee

overthemoon2018 :  I think you never know what goes on with people that makes them feel jealous, and jealous enough to purposely exact unkind things on someone. 

My best friend since high school was always the one who had boyfriends, i never had that many. Suddenly last year when I got my first very serious boyfriend she immediatly got weird, demanded I give her more of my time, ( We have been long distance friends since college as we live in different states, so I give her the same amount each year since then, when I am able to come home for Christmas and Summer) I can only conclude her sudden annoyance at me is because I have a boyfriend. She wasn’t there for me when we became official and i was exicted to share, she wasn’t there for me when we moved in and it was fun news to share, and she knows he is proposing soon and has gotten even more distant. I will be home for a brief trip next month and am going to try to meet face to face and get to the bottom of it, but it feels like a blow that is going to be incredibly hard to come back from. 

I told my boyfriend, if this friend of mine and I were not in a great place but i knew she was going to be getting engaged and married soon, I would set aside my own pride and be there for her regardless as I am aware you can’t take back not being there for that important moment in someone’s life. So i get it. Jealousy is powerful, unexplainable, and VERY hard to fix. hugs bee. 

Post # 19
Member
338 posts
Helper bee

xiexie :  Exactly this.

There is nothing to indicate that jealousy has anything to do with you being reprimanded at work. From how you described your conversation with your manager, it sounds like your productivity was not up to par, and that can be a very serious issue. Maybe the coworker was just fed up with it, as poor productivity can result in additional work for others. If you don’t know what the productivity standards are then you need to ask, it’s your responsibility to find out. You should not be looking at this as a personal issue with the coworker, but as an issue with your job performance that needs to be improved. 

Post # 20
Member
4504 posts
Honey bee

I think it’s really weird that your boss brought up your marital status at a meeting in regards to your performance.  How was this brought up exactly? 

Post # 21
Member
2708 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I think you’re over thinking this, perhaps your coworker just isn’t a fan of you because she doesn’t think you pull your own weight (she did tell your boss that), not because you’re engaged.

Also, seems unnecessary to create new social media accounts where you’re ONLY friends with your coworkers. 

Post # 22
Member
2209 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you are connecting the wrong dots.

Post # 23
Member
3083 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

This is … super confusing?

So.. a coworker complained that you weren’t pulling your weight at work, and then our boss spoke to you about it. This just happened to occur recently after you got engaged.

What about the situation is causing you to make a connection between the complaint and you getting engaged? You’ve given absolutely no details that would indicate that to be the case and it just doesn’t make sense.

As for your use of the word “tattling” – that is a very immature word. Tattling is something children do. Making a formal complaint about a coworkers performance isn’t tattling.

You say that you weren’t given any details in your meeting with your boss, but what questions did you ask?

Post # 24
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: By the lake

Maybe your co-workers are jealous of you.  Why the spite?  I am also one who keeps things in private, however, I wear my ring to work.  I just don’t tell them that I am engaged.  I do have to tell when the wedding would be or I won’t get me two weeks for my wedding and honeymoon!  Other than that, I don’t say too much and they don’t ask either.  Just let your boss know when the wedding is and just don’t associate with them if they are going to be mean to you.  I say work is work.  It’s better to not to be too close to them.  Good luck!  Wear your ring!  You should be happy wearing your ring.  🙂

Post # 25
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2020 - City, State

I’d stop worrying about what jealousy your co worker may or may not have, and focus on sorting the situation at work. Find out what is going wrong, and what you can do to rectify it. To me it seems unlikely that co workers are judging you because you now have a ring on your finger! And if that is the case, that seems extremely childish. Wear your ring with pride bee! 

Post # 26
Member
533 posts
Busy bee

I disagree with people saying you MUST have done something wrong to get told off. I am the same as you and am not one to complain about others in work situations, to me it seems immature/unprofessional and that as adults we need to rise above and deal with things. But I have absolutely dealt with people in the workplace, university  and in life who will happily complain (tattle) about others or create trouble (where there is none) for others to make themselves look better and get someone else in trouble/bring someone else down. Not everyone is a well adjusted emotionally mature adult who plays fair/acts logically, regardless of age anyone can be childish if they are insecure.

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