Post # 1
I had my first exam at the gyno today. I get really bad anxiety around doctors anyway, so leading up to this was horrible. I had nightmares, and I actually cried in the waiting room. I only went so I could get new birth control prescription. I just turned 21, so I know I needed to. But to be honest, I probably just wouldn’t have gone. So I finally get back there and do it, and I felt even worse than I thought I would. It isn’t even like it hurt. I just felt horrible. After they left I burst out into tears to my fiancé. I seriously don’t think I can go back Next year, so I guess this will be my last year on birth control. now I’m still feeling extreme anxiety, and I’m worried it won’t go away and that it could affect intimacy with my fiancé. Does anyone have any advice?
Post # 2
Ummm. No one “enjoys” going to their girly doctor appointment, but that doesn’t mean you should discontinue using birth control and it DEFINITELY doesn’t mean you should stop going to the gyno. This is an annual thing, no questions asked. The more you worry about it and the more stressed out about it you are, the more painful it will be because your muscles will be crazy tight. Maybe consider seeing another doctor next time until you find someone you can trust. My gyno loves giving sex tips as she is prodding around my cervix haha.
Post # 3
Can you expand on what was horrible? The exam? The doctor? The questions?
Post # 4
It didn’t hurt. She was nice enough. It’s just the exam in general. I felt so uncomfortable with having somebody that isn’t my fiancé down there. I know it’s not a big deal to them, but it is to me. I felt like I was going to cry as soon as it started. I don’t think it’s a problem with the Doctor. I have a problem with all doctors. It went far past just “disliking” it. It’s not like I think there are people that LIKE going to the gyno. Over an hour later, and I just feel like shit, and all I want to do is cry.
Post # 5
That exam is not comfortable… especially someone putting things in there and taking a looksie. But like PP said, this is necessary and has to be done to make sure its 100% down there. Don’t skip out on going back because this will make sure that you’re always healthy. It’s only once a year and lasts for no more than a couple of minutes. Just breathe and relax and you’ll be fine.
Post # 6
I get that you were uncomfortable, but the alternative to NOT getting things checked out down there every year is cancer and other reproductive issues. It does get easier every time you go. My first gyno visit was probably around your age and now at 28 it’s still a bit uncomfortable but I know it’s necessary. Not going should not be an option especially if you care about your reproductive health. If you don’t get preventative screenings and then end up having cancer you will be dealing with a whole bunch of other doctors and a whole bunch of needles and a whole bunch of treatments. Isn’t a simple 20 minute exam better than that?
Post # 7
You’re going to feel uncomfortable after your visit, but it’s only once a year and only a few minutes. I hated my first appointment too but if you want to maintain sexual health and make sure you are not at risk for any infection, you need to go every year. Plus, when it’s time to consider having children, don’t you want to know you’re healthy? I know it’s hard, but for your own health, it is incredibly worthwhile.
Post # 8
I cannot stress this enough. It is VITAL you have your annual visit with your gyno.
Why? They look for abnormalities by doing:
– STD testing
– Breast exam (breast cancer)
-Pelvic (vagina, cervix, everything) exam
-General wellness exam
The benefits outweigh anxiety in this situation. You need to have a discussion with your doctor about how the pelvic exam makes you uncomfortable and go from there.
Annual Gynecological Exams Can Save Lives
Post # 9
It actually sounds to me like you need to be treated for your anxiety. You can’t realistically (or safely at least) forgo healthcare for the rest of your life, so I think the best thing to do now is reach out to a mental health professional for help. They will be able to give you coping techniques, behavioral therapy, and/or medication to help you deal.
Post # 10
Noooo one likes it and I’m sure most women feel uncomfortable. I’m kind of a wimp when it comes to doctors. There were a couple MD visits where I was prescribed some anxiety med I took before I went it. Of course it doesn’t make it all go away, but it sure helps. I would definitely see your regular doctor, or you could’ve asked your gyno, for a prescription for just a couple pills to take as needed. Here we don’t see the gyno for 3 years if we’ve been in a long term commited relationship. Which is nice!
Post # 11
My first gyno appointment was at your exact age, 21. I didn’t know what to expect, and had never seen the doctor that I went to. I’m 35 now and have been seeing her ever since! She’s great and makes you feel comfortable… and we usually talk about travels or concerts while she is down there doing what she needs to do.
Yes, it’s weird at first but it will get better once you know what’s happening. After that first appointment, she gave me some yeast infection cream (which I wouldn’t have known about had I not gone), and also had a Colposcopy due to an abnormal pap smear. I haven’t had an abnormal one since, and was happy to have it done to prevent something worse from happening.
Post # 12
Not trying to upset anyone but do you have any issues of people not respecting your boundaries or touching you in a way that made you uncomfortable or scared? The response you had to it sounds a lot like the response you’d expect from someone who experienced some kind of sexual trauma. But not necessarily. My doctor asked me the same thing because I had a really hard time relaxing at one of my first appointments. She wasn’t trying to be judgemental but as my doctor wanted to know so IF that was the case she could refer me to someone who could help me if that had been the case. I know that it freaks you out. But it is to make sure that everything is in good shape. Remember that everyone’s bits look different, and that as a doctor they have seen them in every shape size and color. I also remind myself that they have probably seen a lot of really ill ones and so mine (just there for a check up) is probably a walk in the park. Also, it’s a good idea to be comfortable with it if you are planning to have babies. Because in that case they will check you pretty often and when the time comes there’s probably going to be a docotor and 1-3 nurses in there too. Also you might talk to your doctor about letting you pick up a valium at the pharmacy before your yearly appointment to make things less stressful for you.
Post # 13
But, I lost my aunt to cervical cancer. She had been only once in her life and if it had been caught early, she wouldn’t have died in her 40s.
After that, I just learned to deal with the ick factor which was even more in my head because of my weight.
Post # 14
They do get better over time. I am 26 and had 4 or more exams done for a pap smear, and numerous other exams for yeast infections, so I am no stranger to that department. It was awkward the first couple of times, but eventually I just wanted to get fixed with my infections and make sure nothing serious was happening down there, so I just did the exams and moved on. A few of the exams were quite painful due to infections, so you’re lucky if it didn’t hurt you. I would have felt a lot more relaxed if I wasn’t in pain and yelling at them to take the clamp out. Kudos to you for going and getting it done anyway, its a brave thing to do!
Post # 15
Have you considered counseling and possibly looking into to anxiety medication. I just think the level of anxiety you’re having is not quite normal and seeing a professional can hopefully help talk through the anxiety you have. They can also go through calming exercises with you or discuss the possibility of medication if they feel that is best.
Wish you all the best!