Post miscarriage 8 months still TTC – sadness and anxiety!

posted 3 months ago in TTC
Post # 2
506 posts
Busy bee

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@Chicpeas:  Firstly, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss, you have every right to mourn this loss. I had a chemical pregnancy after about the same amount of trying for our first. It was completely crushing. It ended up taking 14 months for our to conceive our son (happy healthy 22 month old). We are now starting to TTC and I am nervous, I am nervous about the whole process, scared I won’t get pregnant etc. Just know you are not alone, there are lots of bees you struggle to conceive, and who suffer losses. Hugs.

Post # 3
1200 posts
Bumble bee

i’m so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage and took awhile to conceive after that. It was hard and scary. You are very much not alone. In my case, it worked out, and I had a child (currently 9 months old and shrieking his head off playing with a ball in the next room.) It was so hard, and nothing anyone could say seemed to make it easier. I hope you know that lots of us are or have been there and think of you. 

Post # 4
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

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@Chicpeas:  I am so sorry for your loss. MC isn’t talked about enough, but you are definitely not alone and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. I had a MMC back in January and we’re still in the TTC club. Today is especially hard as it’s my original due date, which feels like an especially tough punch in the gut. So much of family planning is a secret, so a lot of our friends don’t even know what we’ve been though, and it’s definitely hard seeing everyone else with their kids or having their second, when you so desperately want the same. 

Hearing all of the mama Bees on here who went on to have healthy pregnancies after a loss gives me a lot of hope! 

Post # 5
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

I’m sorry you’re struggling. This process can really suck. I’m not a success story yet as I am just starting IVF a little over 2 years since my 14 week loss but I can relate to everything you posted. It’s hard and often a very lonely journey. Maybe join the spring/summer infertility thread… There are some amazing ladies with a wealth of knowledge there and it really helps to talk to others who understand what you’re going through.

Post # 6
4393 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I had an early MC back in Dec 2018 and it was devastating. We had only been trying for a few months at that point and I (wrongly) thought that meant we weren’t going to have too much trouble getting a sticky baby. Over two years later I am now finally pregnant with my rainbow: the process was really hard for us. We had to go through multiple rounds of IUI and IVF. My infertility diagnosis was also really hard to deal with since I found out the reason for all my trouble was endometriosis, a disease I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. It definitely helped me to have the support of the infertility thread on WB through everything. 
I am so sorry you had to deal with a loss, it is a lot more common than you think as you can see from the other bees comments. Good luck to you moving forward and hoping you have your rainbow soon. 

  • This reply was modified 2 months, 2 weeks ago by Cheekie0077.
Post # 7
1432 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

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@penguin14:  That original due date rolling around is so hard – huge hugs to you today 🙁


OP, I had a MMC then several months of continued TTC before conceiving my son (now 1.5). In my situation it ended positively and I’m so thankful, but know that you are not alone in the darkness in these months of TTC. It becomes all consuming – I remember once month AF arriving while at work and I just sobbed in the bathroom and sat there thinking “how do I go out there and just get back to work?”.

The rage I would feel at people telling me “well at least you can get pregnant” (umm pregnancy is not the end goal…I want a baby) or “just relax and it will happen” (Oh? Are you some omniprescient being that knows the future? Do you know more about my situation than my medical providers?).

Let yourself feel all the emotions you are feeling – they are all so valid whatever they are. I hope everything works out for you soon but know that the Bee community is here for you and you are not alone.

Post # 8
1189 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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@Chicpeas:  I am so sorry for your loss. I went through a chemical/ suspected ectopic and a miscarrage years ago.  I went through fertility treatments…multiple iuis and finally ivf to conceive my children. Took me 2 years to conceive my first and we recently conceived a second. During the 2 years trying to conceive my first I was a mess. Like you most of my friends were single so they couldnt really understand. At first I kept it all very quiet. Eventually I did open up to family and friends about it and it helped a lot. When I had my losses it was so hard and nothing anyone said helped at the time. Only time helped. I joined infertility boards and ttc after loss boards and that helped having others who understood.  It was a dark time in my life. I think miscarrage isnt talked about enough making women feel so lonely and isolated. It is unfortunatly common and many women go on to have perfectly  healthy pregnancies! I feel for you and do know how hard it is!  I will send prayers that you conceive a healthy baby soon!

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