Post # 1
I dont know how many of you have experienced a miscarriage, but since I had mine a year ago, I have had so many crazy comments rub me the wrong way. I had a very sweet coworker become pregnant 2 months after I miscarried, her first comment was “dont be mad at me, but I am pregnant” er…ok. Why would that make me angry?
Other ppl have made comments to me like “Dont you want children?” I am not a big fan of the holidays, and after casually talking about it with another lady, she said “its because you dont have a family” Ouch.
I guess the point of my rant is, be careful what you say to women in regard to having children. I dont care to disclose my medical history to world, nor to inform everyone that I had a miscarriage at 3months. But it seems that a little tact and manners would go along way. Dont assume that because someone doesnt have children, that they dont want them…or that they havent lost them in the process of trying. Anyone else have similar experiences?
Post # 3
Those people sound like jerks, regardless of what you’ve gone through! I am sorry. =(
Post # 4
Aww that sounds awful! Sometimes people can be insensitive jerks.
Post # 5
Thanks for the empathy : )
Post # 6
Well in all fairness it sounds like the first comment was coming from a place of caring about your feelings, just . . . came out in a very wrong way.
Sorry to hear about what you are going through! I am a firm believer that people should mind their own business when it comes to the reproductive habits of other people.
Post # 7
@Havaneseluv: Yes, some people are completely tactless but in general, I try to take it in a well meaning way. Most are not out to upset anyone…they just don’t get what they are saying because they have never lived through it. And the pregnant girl? She was probably just worried that it would hurt you….
because it does. I have miscarried a few times including my first pregnancy at almost 6 months. It did hurt to see friends with babies and others with families for a while. Although I did heal, even now that I have three children (teens), it still hurts to know that they had other brothers/sisters that never were. I just remind myself that they don’t have any idea how it feels and just don’t know what to say.
Post # 8
wise words, Natalie and Lua : ) I try to remember that ppl generally have good intentions, and I agree, the comment by my coworker was certainly not meant to be hurtful. I do think that people just need to have more awareness around what they say concerning other people and the things they may have gone through. I think part of the difficulty for me was in that I grew up in a very religious family, and I was pregnant during our engagement, so I wasnt really eager to let ppl know. It resulted in a very private grieving process, and most people dont even know that we went through that.
Thank you for sharing your own pregnancy struggles. I am sorry that you had such difficulties, and I appreciate your kind words.