(Closed) Post-move sadness?

posted 8 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Both my Fiance and I moved across the country from our families. For the first 3 months of that time, he was employed and I wasn’t. It was so hard, and I missed being able to see my family whenever I wanted. It is still hard for holidays like Christmas because plane tickets are so expensive. But I promise things will get better. I used that time to invest in myself – pursuing hobbies, exploring my new city, started a fitness program. Those things kept me distracted so I wasn’t missing my family as much.

Now I have lived away from them for 4 years. I see them once or twice a year, but we talk on the phone LOTS (or Skype!). Does your Fiance have family close by? Is it his hometown that you moved to?

Post # 4
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I haven’t moved to be near a SO, but when I went abroad for a semester, I spent almost the entire time being miserable.  I’m so sorry you’re having a rough time.  3.5 months is not that long to really be settled yet, but it’s an eternity to be homesick!

Do you have any hobbies that could help you get out of the house and make new friends apart from your FI?  (Like finding a stitch & bitch group if you knit.)

Post # 6
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Make plans sometime this week, and let them know that there’s a slim chance you’ll get called in to work.  It’s easier to plan ahead and cancel if you need to, especially since you aren’t settled yet, so you don’t have a go-to “I’m bored. Coffee?” friend already.  Good luck (with both settling and finding a steady job!), and I hope it gets better.

Post # 7
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

yes yes yes I can relate. I moved only four hours away, and I’m in school, but it’s so hard. I get so lonely sometimes and it’s super hard for me to be away from my family. I went 10 weeks without seeing my mom, and it was the longest I’d ever gone.

Don’t get me wrong — I’m glad to be here with Fiance, but it’s really tough sometimes. Even though I’m taking classes, I’m still finding it difficult to make friends. I’ve been trying to get out more — volunteer, do some part time work, even just hang out in the library sometimes.

Maybe try to make an effort to call one of the girls you mention — even if you just do it once and meet for coffee. I am so reluctant to make plans with new people, it just freaks me out, but I’m trying to force myself to do it, because I feel better having something (anything) to do!

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