(Closed) Post-nuptial Depression?

posted 4 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Hmm. I can’t say that I’ve experienced depression at that time in my life (only a few months ago), but I do remember feeling a little uprooted a few weeks after the wedding/honeymoon. I was back at work, we were married, we have a house, and all of a sudden I was like “wait.. what next!?”. I had gotten used to the excitement of getting engaged and planning a wedding (and within that time frame I had also graduated college and we had moved across the country AND bought a house) so when all of a sudden things were “normal” I had a few weeks where I felt a little lost. For me, it faded naturally. 

However, if you are suffering from clinical depression it may be a different experience for you. Can you try to set a reminder or alarm on your phone so you don’t forget your pills? 

As for getting through it, for me it faded naturally. There are always more things in your life to look forward to – whether it’s career related, a house renovation project, or family related, there are always goals to work towards. That was what ultimately got my mind off of the “what next” question that I was struggling with. And although it wasn’t as monumental (I mean, I think the first project I did was reorganizing my bookshelf), it helped me ground myself and appreciate my new life. Does that make sense? There’s always something new and exciting to look forward to! 

 

 

Post # 3
Member
730 posts
Busy bee

I also did not experience depression however I did go through a period of time that I think was just boredom. Back to the mundane everyday things in life. We aren’t buying a house right now, we aren’t trying for kids right now so there is just really nothing “major” or super exciting going on after the wedding. I thought I would love this time considering how busy I was wedding planning, 2016 was a complete and utter blur. But, I definitely have been more bored feeling than I was expecting. It definitely got better, especially with the summer and nice weather. But that winter after our fall wedding was definitely a drag. So I definitely understand the post wedding “blues” however if this is affecting your everyday life or overall happiness I think it would be best to speak to a professional about how you’re feeling. 

Post # 4
Member
284 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
june2017bride :  *hugs*

I went through that myself and I am also on meds. It was a struggle for me because I went straight from living with my family to living with my husband. I became more and more uncertain approaching the actual wedding day. I blamed it on stress from wedding planning and busy work. I have never lived independently and it was quite stressful handling housework and work life at the same time. I moved into my husband’s apartment then we moved again within 2 months of getting married.. everything all happened at once.

Even when we settled into our new place we fought A LOT and I was very very unhappy. Things started improving at 10months into marriage. There is no quick fix. It just happens… you just need to put in the effort to keep a positive mind and work through it with your husband. 

Is your family supportive ? Do you talk to them a lot? My parents gave us a lot of support and that is what really helped me get through it all. They always put things into perspective for me and helped me to see the bright side.

We’ve been married for about 1.5 years now and we do fight sometimes but it’s just a lot more stable now. It gradually gets better. I am still on meds but I am not suffering from post nuptial stress anymore. Time will heal but make sure you always stay connected with your husband and talk about it. Dont leave things unresolved. Thankfully my husband and I are very vocal people and we never leave things unresolved. That does make things blow up but we always talk about it and encourage each other etc. it was really hard for many months but its important to stay connected so the post nuptial stress doesnt break the marriage apart. I also suggest seeing your doctor regularly and a therapist to talk about it so you do get an objective view on it and your doctor may increase your med dose temporarily to help you get through it. I hate taking meds too but it does help if you increase it temporarily. Also try meditation and exercise. They have helped me a lot. Just remember that it’s just a part of the transition process… 

Good luck! 🙂 

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