Post # 1
I dont see a lot of post about PPD so i thought that i would start one. The past few months have been rough to say the least, however, it finally came down to me breaking down in front of my husband, because i knew i needed help. I would like to hear other bee’s experiences, and recovery with PPD. Here is my story…
I had a tough birth experience combined with little to no real “down time” for maternity leave (we own our own business) My son was 5 days old and i had to get out and sign paperwork for a sale. I felt like despite just going thru major surgery and running on little to no sleep i had to keep everything up. Fast forward to when my son was about 10 months he rolled off the bed onto a hefty pile of pillows, however this scared me so bad i literally was physically sick, this incident kick started irrational fears / anxiety that i was a bad person and CPS was going to take away my son etc etc. Over the next few weeks i felt extreme guilt that i was a bad mother and although unintentionally, him falling was my fault and i could never trust myself again (silly, i know). So i kept it in and discussed it with no-one. I was scared for him to be anywhere near electrical cords, knives or anything that could hurt him. I was scared that i may drop him or he would slip in the tub and it would be all my fault, or i would hurt him somehow or someone would kidnap him etc etc. So i decided just put all my effort into being a mother, house wife and business partner. Deep down i just began to get worse and worse. One week my husband went out of town, which initially i looked forward too so that i could clean house and enjoy a few days hanging out with my son. However i became so scared to be alone with my son for fear that something would happen to him, i was so ashamed. I finally told my husband and he called my Mother-In-Law who came over in the middle of the night to talk with me. I called my OB the next morning, her seceretary kind of dismissed it and said, cant you call your family DR, its been soo long ago since you had the baby? So i called my family DR who said she would see me the next week. When i saw my family Dr, she agreed it was most likely PPD and wanted me to have counseling in combination with zoloft. I have not gone to the couselor yet but plan to within the month. So while i am extremely embarrased to tell this story and be judged by others, it feels good to share with others who may be going through this same experience.
Post # 3
I have not had my baby yet, so I have no idea what you’ve been through. I would like to thank you for having the courage to talk about something that I’m sure is very private and very painful. You are doing the right thing by talking it out, getting help, and asking for support from DH & family when you need it. That, in itself, is being a good mom! You have to take care of yourself if you’re expected to take care of others- if you don’t, you’ll have nothing left to give.
Keep taking care of yourself! Also, didn’t Brooke Shields write a book on this? Down Came the Rain, I belive… anyway, I suppose if it can happen to her, it can happen to anyone- you are not alone!
Post # 4
I think this is a really important thing to post about and I really give you much credit coming forward with your story. I am a mommy to a beautiful seven week old baby girl. As blessed and grateful I feel to have her I do feel my “baby blues” lingering. My husband works so hard for our family with long days and weeks so I am home with the baby and I find myself just feeling overwhelmed and often in tears. I wouldn’t call her colic but she certainly has her long spells of crying where I cannot console her and I find myself often in tears too. Shouldn’t a mommy know these things? Last night I just broke down after trying to console her every way I humanly know how for over an hour to get her to sleep to have my DH come home from a 12 hour day and she is instantly and easily asleep in his arms within minutes. I have older well meaning women coming up to say things like “oh enjoy this is the most wonderful time” and I feel like a bad mother after a night of no sleep and a day of crying that I am the opposite of enjoying this time sometimes. I don’t know if these feeings are PPD, new mommy anxiety, or just normal feeings of a tired woman but just thought I would share.
Post # 5
good for you for being brave enough to post. you are not alone. i went through crazy hormone changes too and went through my peaks and valleys. i had irrational fears (what if she falls, what if she hits the corner of the table) always thinking of worst case scenario things. i never felt the need to go to a dr and thouse thoughts are gone but good for you for taking care of youself first. the more you take of yourself the more you can take care of your family!
Post # 6
Can I just say you are a GREAT mom for being brave enough to confront this and do something about it? The blogger on Cup of joe wrote about this as well. She said it was really common around 10-12 months since so many people are weaning then, but no one ever talked to her about it. Google Cup of Joe weaning. Not sure if I can post a link? http://joannagoddard.blogspot.com/2012/02/motherhood-depression-and-weaning.html
Post # 7
Thank you for the link! Its uplifting to read about another woman’s journey and recovery. It does seem that weening has coincided with the PPD for me, and maybe the lack of the prolactin and oxytocin hormones has made it more difficult to get out of my slump.
Post # 8
I don’t have much to ontribute here, but I did want to applaud you for coming out with your story. It’s not an easy thing to do, and it’s a very ‘hush hush’ topic. I think you are a great mother just for your willingness to bring it out in the open and get help!