Hey OP, I am weeks away from having our first, and your post really ‘spoke’ to a lot of concerns I have with having a baby. One of my biggest concerns is being ‘that mom’ that does not bond with her baby, and/or having postpartum depression. I have already asked my doctor about these things, again, without even having my child yet, and she assured me that it is OK, that it affects a lot of women, and that medical professionals are there to help, and not judge. However, baby blues can feel similar to postpartum depression, and baby blues are common in MOST women after they bring home baby. There will be tears, there will be questions of uncertainty, and wondering why the heck you did this, and there will be feelings of irritation and detachment. Admitting them is ‘key’.
Obviously, you want to admit them to your partner, free of shame, first and foremost. That makes the most sense!! The one person who can help you the most, and commiserate the most, and not judge you – probably, your husband. However, although many would call him an unsupportive ass, I have to wonder if he too is experiencing some baby blues as well. Sure, he does not have the hormonal imbalance to ‘blame’, but I recently read an article about how it can also affect the Fathers. For 9 months they have also anticipated babies arrival, and then they bring home this baby, and well – the baby is just kind of a ‘blob’; a crying, pooping alien of sorts, that does not do a whole lot. I think that for a lot of men that is hard to connect too, because they do not prepare in the same ways women do for a baby, even if they are super supportive the entire time. I guess, my point is, maybe your husband cannot help his moods either, and although it should be a bit more about YOU, he also could be experiencing his own feelings of depression, which probably get pushed aside in a lot of men/father’s.
Enter the dog…look, I LOVE our dog. She loves me more than hubby too (he knows this), and actually has gotten even closer to me during my pregnancy (it has actually kinda hurt his feelings, lol). We have done our parts to prepare her for baby, but at 13 years of age, she just may not be the dream dog she has been for us this entire time. I am already a mama bear to this human child, and our fur child. There is no doubt, though, that if she exhibits any type of negative behaviors, Darling Husband will not discipline or threaten worse, such as, if she bites, she is gone. Of course I will fight for her, but I also know one of us needs to be ‘that person’ with the dog, and ensure her role in the family is known from #3 to #4. I know it will not be me. I also know, at the end of the day, Darling Husband would never just ‘get rid of her’ if we needed to make that decision. He would try to work with her, etc, first. All of this being stated, while acknowledging, that we will be extra anxious (and she will feel that and feed off of it), and exta tired, thus making our tempers a bit more erractic. So, perhaps will get a bit more jumpy with her, which is not fair, but true.
I have no real advice to offer, because I have not been there, but perspective because it is a concern of my own, and I have tried to educate myself about it along the way; same with potential feelings Darling Husband will have, and our dog!!