(Closed) post wedding blues

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3967 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think we all have this feeling, whether it’s a ring or a wedding or a vacation or a summer house! We always wish we had what someone else has, but we have to remember that just because it may look like your friends are going to have some huge glorious wedding day, that doesn’t mean yours was any less important. Yes, you could have waited decades for a wedding that you didn’t have to settle on ANYTHING for….but you wanted to be married, that was most important. I know it might be hard when you have all this wedding talk going around, but remember… those girls were probably jealous when you were getting married and their SO’s were taking their dear sweet time to propose. Oh, how they wished they were you!

Post # 4
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

View original reply
@love108: I agree with this. The grass always looks greener on the other side, but I’m sure those brides will have their own wedding struggles and hard decisions to make. They may be comparing their weddings to the elaborate weddings of family members or ones they see in the magazines. There will always be greater and lesser than yourself. 

Post # 5
2152 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I completely understand where you are coming from. Fiance and I are paying for our wedding and can only afford about 12K. my cousin just got engaged and her FI’s parents are chipping in about $20K just to start…and my FI’s sister is getting married just after us and getting ideas from our wedding.  It bothers me, but I still think my day will be fantastic so I am trying to just suck it up and deal.

As long as you had such a fabulous day on your wedding and you are happy in your marriage, that is what counts, though I know the other things feel like an equally big deal right now

Post # 6
11535 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I commend you for recognizing these feelings for what they are, realizing that you should not allow them to consume or depress you, and wanting to move past them. However, being tempted to have these feelings is quite normal. 

Whoever we are and regardless of what time in history we get married, we always will encounter someone who has a bigger and more sparkly ring, a more elaborate reception, a more beautiful dress, better pictures, etc.

I’ve had an opportunity to experience this from both sides.  I married long after many of my friends, and my parents generously gave me a very expensive wedding.  Many things have changed since most of my friends married, and the whole, indulgent wedding culture is different now.  I received comments from one of my dearest friends because another friend and I were constantly talking about our rings as well as the fact that I had engagement portraits taken in a studio.  She had never heard of having engagement portraits taken and thought it was very self indugent. Well, fast forward to a few months after my wedding, when a co-worker of mine had an AMAZING e-pic photo shoot on a beach, like those featured on WB (which, by the way, I did not join until long after I was married.)  I had never seen anything like those romantic, photojournalistic pics telling the love story of this coulple!  And it made me sad that I didn’t know that this was even an option, and I really wished that I had been able to have something like that.

Likewise, when I ordered my designer, silk gown, I was very excited to have found it, because it met the criteria that I knew about at the time I ordered it.  I should note that, when I bought my gown, I had never even seen “Say Yes to the Dress” (SYTTD), and I wasn’t even a member of WB.  At the time, I just assumed I should find a big ball gown like I had always wanted when all of my friends were getting married years before me. I ended up with a beautiful, A-line, strapless dress, (a ballgown did not look good on my curvaceous figure.) However, after I was married, I discovered and began watching SYTTD, and I’ve seen so many spectacular gowns that would have made me look so much better, thinner, neater, elegant, etc. than the dress I selected, and I’ve wished so many times I could have a dress “do over.”  Yet, I can’t, and, I do like my dress so much more than some of the ones my friends wore years ago, when those big, puffy sleeves were all the rage.  

I think the key is to try to focus on all of the many wonderful blessings in your life as well as all of the things you loved about your wedding, and to be thankful for those things. 🙂

Post # 7
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Compare your husband to the grooms in these weddings. I am sure they are nice guys, but nobody compares to YOUR husband, do they? I am sure you wouldn’t trade grooms for all the world. That is what really made your wedding so glorious, not the primping or the attention from vendors, but the wonderful man waiting for you at the altar. If you think about it this way, it’s impossible to feel envious for too long. Their fiances may be perfect for them but yours was also perfect for you and there is nothing that can top that.

Post # 8
3967 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Plus you never know.. those deep pocketed parents may be giving their daughters unlimited budgets…but I think we all know that when it comes to making decisions on how your day is going to be, it’s often the one writing the checks… if anything they might have an even more stressful time planning.. they don’t get much of a say in the whole thing!

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