(Closed) Post wedding blues

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Did you have the post wedding blues?
    Yes, and I'll tell you all about them and how I got out of them. : (11 votes)
    27 %
    No, and I'll tell you how I avoided them. : (12 votes)
    29 %
    I'm not sure... and I'll explain. : (7 votes)
    17 %
    Honey! I'm not married yet and I wanted to vote :) : (11 votes)
    27 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2681 posts
    Sugar bee

    I kind of have them but not sure. I just wish we could have our wedding again. I did find myself coming back to work after the honeymoon not caring much about anyone elses event. Since we wedding was over I didn’t need to work other peoples events and get ideas and get excited for mine :). I do have 3 more weddings I’m in this year do it helps that I am able to help plan those weddings and gives me other big events to look forward to!

    Post # 4
    Member
    7053 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Ok DG.  Now mind you this was over a decade and a half ago when I had the big fat Protestant wedding to my ex husband!

    I planned stuff.  With all the new gadgets in the kitchen and my newfound love for floral design and party giving, I had people over for dinner parties all the time and even made invites!

    We also planned trips.  I had a 6 month anniversary trip and a one year anniversary trip.  Also had a blast helping my other friends get married off too! 

    I think there is some natural let down since planning for many becomes a central life focus.  And when that one day, that big day is gone, poof!  There goes the focus.

    So how to beat the funk?  Continue doing what you do best but take a slightly different spin on it!  Imagine how fun having a dinner party at your house would be if you could make a menu for the evening just half as cute as the one you made for your wedding? 

    I also now (as a result of that phase of life) keep lots of photos.  I also am going to start making a scrapbook of all the places we travel!

    Post # 5
    Member
    792 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I don’t have them… atleast not yet. Everything leading up to the wedding was so stressful and now I just feel great! I feel like this enormous weight has been lifted off my shoulders and my husband and I are both now happily returning to normal life. Plus, we really look forward to trying to start a family sometime in the near future!!

    Post # 6
    Member
    135 posts
    Blushing bee

    I didn’t.  I think it’s because we moved right into buying our house and that has kept me occupied so I didn’t have time get the post-wedding blues.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1205 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I voted “not sure”. I’m just in general not a really happy person. I attribute it to always looking for something else.

    I really enjoyed working on my wedding. I really looked forward to that day and enjoyed it. Now, I’ve spent my wedding savings and lost my second job (the company went out of business). So, I’ve found myself with more free time and less to do.

    I’ve tried reconnecting with some friends, I’ve watched a ton of TV (it’s quality, I swear!), I’ve been reading, and trying to do other things like make crafts (a hobby I wanted to continue post-wedding) and blog/ cook. It seems like the weeks go by and nothing happens. This seems like the blues to me.

    So, I think there’s been some major life changes post wedding but I don’t think they’re all wedding related. It’s just continued growth, and not completely something I’m enjoyihng right now.

    Post # 8
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    nah. But i am in a bit of a funk. I don’t think it’s post-wedding related. I’m quite pleasd that it’s over and done with. I think my funk is more so what is going on with everything else in my life but at least the wedding doesn’t stress me out =]

    Post # 9
    Member
    1718 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

    I had a bit of an adjustment period where I needed to find a way to refocus my energy. It actually took a while, but I got back into nesting/spiffing up our place (which I was into pre-engagement, and then totally didn’t care about during wedding planning). I also get pretty excited to help my friends that are getting married… it’s a nice way to ease off the crack that is wedding planning 🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    7053 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Ha ha Pengy you’re so right!  It is CRACK! Wedding eye candy crack.  And it is addictive.  Nothing else is such a personal way to make an outward expression of yourself and your elationship and it’s that one party of all parties! 

    I kind of think the honeymoon period when you’re far away from your computer, daily planner, and cell phone is DESIGNED to detox you off the wedding crack!  A tough-love approach to end it cold turkey.

    We need a 12 step program!!!Laughing 

    Post # 11
    Member
    3332 posts
    Sugar bee

    I defintely felt like I was kind of unfocused and a little bored after the wedding.  I think I spent so much time working toward that goal and anticipating everything, that I was kind of missing something after it was over.  (This also coincided with my summer off from school, so I wasn’t having to worry about studying).  Like Pengy, I decided to throw some extra energy into redecorating our place a little.  We can’t move for a little while, so we aren’t getting a new house like a lot of couples.  So, we rearranged some furniture, painted a couple of rooms and hung some new art and photos.

    Post # 12
    Member
    618 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I don’t think I have the blues.  I’m glad the wedding is over and I’m really enjoying being a newlywed and fixing up the house.  BUT, that doesn’t mean I don’t still want to discuss weddings!!  I’m having fun helping my Future Sister-In-Law plan her October wedding and I’m going to be a guest blogger on another wedding blog and “recap” our wedding, so I still get to talk wedding!!  We’re also still planning our honeymoon.  We decided to wait until Christmas and take a 2+ week long island-hopping honeymoon, so it’s been great having something to look forward to!

    Post # 13
    Member
    98 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I definately had them and still kinda do. I wish I could give advice on getting out of them, but for me it’s still a work in progress.

    I try to keep myself busy with random project. We find ways to get out of the apartment instead of bumming in front of the tv or computer. Mostly it’s just a fight to will myself out of the blues. Some days are better than others. But little by little it is better than before.

    Post # 14
    Member
    883 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2009

    As I would define it, PW Blues are the saddend feelings and heavy heart that come with no longer putting all your time, effort, and love into planning.

    Some will never have this problem because planning wasn’t an enjoyable process for them.  Some will have this feeling of withdrawl to an extreme until they pour themselves into planning something else… I’m willing to bet that many a wedding planner began thay way.

    Some of us managed to really hold on the the advice of other brides and really live in the moment and avoid any sadness by holding on to those amazing memories, and pouring our heart and soul into the new adventure of being married, trying new things, learning a new skill etc. I had fun planning, but what I’d really love to do is just relive our wedding day over adn over because we had so much fun.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2205 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I think adjustment period is a good way to desciribe it for me.  I had many major life changes that came long with marriage, so I am getting used to new everything.  That is both keeping me busy and distracted, and also throwing me off more than ever.

    I miss wedding planning a lot, and sometimes when I’m in a store or looking at a magazine (lots of home decor ones lately!!) I think, “Oh what a cute wedding color scheme!”  or “I shuld buy this for the wedding”.  My husband thinks its crazy that I’m not over it yet, but I think Weddingbee has been the most helpful thing because it’s a constant.   I can be here and still be excited about weddings, without being embarassed that it’s not all applicable to me anymore. i haven’t even got my wedding photos yet…then I’ll be really pumped!

    But it’s a really strange thing becoming a bride.  You work so hard for this day, and people are showering you with love and attention and ask you how things are going, and get so  excited.  At the wedding celebration everything is focused on you and the hubs and it’s a total thrill.  And then about two weeks after the wedding, people stop asking how things are going, aren’t excited anymore…they’ve all moved on (this is true with wedding blogging outside of Weddingbee too)

    It’s a little disappointing coming out of such an emotional high of a time.  and now you’re just a wife living a normal boring life.  I absolutely LOVE wifehood, but I’m still getting used to the switch from bride to wife.

    Hmmph.  Maybe I’ve got the PW blues more than I thought!

    Post # 16
    Member
    65 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2008

    I love, love, love being married, so it’s not post-wedding blues, per se, it’s just that I miss the wedding planning!  I had sooooo much fun with it- I enjoyed every single second (and we dated for 7 years before marriage- engaged for almost 2 of those).  I’ve been plenty busy with work and planning lots of other things (we’re taking our real honeymoon soon – 16 months after the wedding), but nothing can quite compare to the wedding! 

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