Post # 1
My weding was last saturday and I was so done with wedding planning I thought that I would be glad when it’s going to be over. I’ve heard about this phenomen of the post-wedding blues and could totally see, why one would have it: planning for so many months and you free minutes are used to search for ideas, chose between so many options etc. And now of a sudden: nothing.
I’m a person that always needs goals I can work forward to, in order to feel motivated etc. So it is difficult, when there is kind of a void. It’s not that I don’t have to plan many things now, but I’m just overwhelmed by the fact that everything is over now. There are some things I regret and what I would have done differently now looking back on our wedding day, but it was actually only me noticing, because the others didn’t knew how it was meant to be. It’s not that big of a deal, but I’m a perfectionist and the fact that it is over now and now you can’t change anything about it, bothers me.
But there’s one thing more: some of you might know that I had a lot of dress doubt, but in the end I went with the dress I originally bought. While I still think that the dress was pretty, I’m just not over the fact, that I was not sure about it. I didn’t feel like 100% me, due to the fact that I thought I had to have so many alterations done to it looking like the dress I actually wanted for my wedding. So I’m kind of obsessed with the thought that now everyhting is over and I’m not sure about my looks on the wedding day. Not with my hair and not with my dress. Normally I’m not an insecure person, but this whole wedding dress thing and me being a perfectionist has overwhelmed me. And I know that it actually doesn’t really matter and that those thoughts are a bit ridicoulus, but maybe some of you have experienced something similar and could give me some insight or encouraging words?
Post # 2
Im definitely a perfectionist, and an anxious filled person. So they do NOT go well together. I can see how that couldve made you feel uneasy post wedding.
It’s good, though, that you’re aware of your personality and how you feel and why you feel that way in this situation. It gives you the advantage of analyzing what you feel, why, and how to move past it.
Sadly, I view weddings much the same in where I feel like its a big “ohmygoodnesohmygoodnessohmygoodness….” and then its all over.
Like the ball that was thrown to you, slipped out of your hands, and before you know it, the game is done.
I would work on looking at all the positives and memorable moments, and definitely the BRIGHTSIDE of things 🙂
Post # 3
bellabelle12 : time to start saving and plan your next trip! Get your mind excited about something new.
Post # 4
- Wedding: February 2019 - City, State
Bee, I am definitely with you!!! Our wedding was February and once we got back from the honeymoon, I dealt with these same feelings. After a few weeks back in our normal routine, I started feeling better.
I was sick on our wedding day, so I keep thinking how we didn’t get enough pictures. We haven’t gotten our pictures back yet, so I just keep hoping we got enough.
The amazing thing is, you are married and you have your entire lives ahead of you!!!
Post # 5
bellabelle12 : My husband and I spent the weeks after our honeymoon sitting in coffee shops and drinking fun lattes while writing thank-you notes. It was kind of a fun decompression activity and let us reflect on our wedding in a productive way. We took our time and wrote long notes to everyone, and discussed what to write to each person. It took us like 6 weeks to do it this way, but it was a peaceful bonding experience.
Post # 6
I felt sad when my wedding was over and I planned a quick elopement in 3 weeks, so I didn’t have much of a build up, but I felt sad getting back to normal life and just wanted to to the wedding day all over again. I also really didn’t like my dress and my hair went wrong on the day. It’s been 2 months now and I only remember the good parts. The memories fade far too quickly. Focus on being a newlywed and enjoy these precious weeks with your husband. Congratulations!
Post # 7
I, too, am a perfectionist and experienced some post-wedding blues, especially after the honeymoon-high died down. I kept an open communication with my husband about my feelings, and while he couldn’t completely relate, he reminded me of all the bright spots in our day, we planned our next mini-getaway trip together, and after quite a few months I realized none of those things that once bothered me really matter in the end. I married my best friend that day and it really all was perfectly imperfect!
volvo321 : I was also terribly sick on our wedding day, the honeymoon, and the month after. Unfortunately, I look a bit dazed and sick in some of our photos and we simply ran out of time taking our couple shots after the ceremony (we didn’t do a first look), so we have very few “portraits” of the two of us- that is something I’ve had a hard time dealing with but eventually even that has become easier to cope with.
Post # 8
ladama : You’re so right! This whole wedding planning thing triggered my depression and anxiety again. Mostly the part of criticizing myself and doubting every decision I took.
lifeisbeeutiful : Definitely! And actually we have so many things to plan now, but the wedding was always first and everything else seemed to be so far away, that now I feel kind of a void, because the wedding is over, but am a bit anxious to take the next huge steps.
volvo321 : Oh, I’m so sorry, that you were sick! This sucks. I also think it doesn’t help, that I have much less work now, as we’re going to move soon. A stricter work schedule would definitely help me, as I tend to ruminate more when I have too much time.
sandybeach : Thank you for your reply! I think so too. Eventually I’ll be able to look back and see the beautiful things!
newbeegirl : Yes, my husband is not really getting it either haha. He listens to me, but he’s more like, it’s over now, no use in ruminating. And I know that they’re right.
Post # 9
bellabelle12 : Yes on the post wedding blues. I even wrote thread on that too just like you, hahah. Let me assure you though, it gets better. I was kinda lost for a little bit there (looking for a new “project” I suppose) but every week it got better. I never saw myself as “that woman” who was so wedding crazy as to have the blues when it was over, but yeah. Apparently I am.
(btw congrats on your wedding and best wishes!!!)