Post # 1
I guess?! I can’t find any other way to explain it.
Our wedding was amazing and it went by so fast I couldn’t even believe it. For the first time in his life, my husband was the center of attention in his family and everyone was thrilled to celebrate with him.
I was also the center of attention and now that I’m not, I’m actually finding myself disappointed. I miss being the subject of conversation in my circle of family and friends for a solid year. I miss everyone being happy for me and telling me so. We traveled 2,000 miles to be with our family and friends and have our wedding and now we’re back “home” and I’m feeling more lonely and even alienated than ever!!!! We’re pretty isolated here, far away from everyone.
After the wedding, some would call me to talk about it still and there was still interest and I was happy to revel, but then someone in the family got engaged 2 weeks after our wedding and THAT WAS IT. Now there is total radio silence.
I hate being jealous! I feel like an immature 4 year old, because that’s what it is! But I am. My husband was also getting so much nice attention from his family, but now it’s over since they are fixated on something else, and something they may very well consider to be bigger and better.
We haven’t even gotten our pictures and it’s all over. When I get them, I feel like nobody will give a damn.
The thing is, I guess I take it personally. With my family, it’s not such a big deal because I know some of them care even if they don’t actively talk to us about our lives, but with my husband’s family it doesn’t feel that way to me. Maybe I’m wrong, I could be wrong…
Post # 3
I totally missed my wedding too!!! I had 3 wedddings after mine, one was my SIL’s 3 months later so I got more bummed around her wedding time even though we just had an amazing weddnig. People WILL care once you get your album and pictures! Just remember what a great time your wedding was and focus on making new great memories with your husband and familyl!
Post # 4
naangel55 – You’re totally right. Lately, in a desperate attempt to get rid of this feeling, I’ve decided that I absolutely have to do interesting things with my husband, even though we have ZERO money and I have zero time with my job getting crazy. Just because I realized that I was living vicariously through all these other people who were having happy things happen to them.
Since apparantly I’m not emotionally equipped to be happy for them right now, the only thing I can figure is to distract myself by making memories with my husband and finding ways to make our family.
Everyone says that we are now a family, even though we’re just 2. (Family always seemed more plural than two for me.) So, maybe this will work? It’s better than moping around stalking people’s engagement pictures on Facebook, whining…
Post # 5
I would love anyone else’s imput. Maybe I’m just PMSing. :<
Post # 6
I obviously can’t talk about my experience with this. But, I can see why you’d feel this way! I bet I’ll have the same reaction, because I’m loooooooving all the fuss. People have been so great (please don’t let me have jinxed us!). And, the women in my circle that have gotten married told me about a sorta postpartum that they went through shortly after their wedding and I told them they were silly, but I don’t think they are now!
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with building memories and doing fun things with your hubby, just enjoy it! Things will eventually fall into place (at least they did for my friends who have had VERY similar experiences).
Post # 7
You hit the nail on the head Jennifer – things haven’t quite fallen into place yet concerning family and family relationships. I feel like I’m in an awkward position, straddling adulthood and youth, and straddling my family and his. Maybe that’s why I feel so out of sorts about it all.
Post # 8
It makes total sense! Its a strange transition for you and its probably really strange for your/his family too. I think also you and he have to find your stride together. Which might be contributing to why you feel alienated, maybe your families are giving you space?
Post # 9
Well Im actually at the other end of the spectrum. Yesterday I wrote how I cant believe how I DONT have the wedding blues. But I’m more surprised at myself rather then at you because I can totally see why your feeling the way you are. I think I just had wayyy to much stress with planning my wedding.
Its alright to feel the way you do. We all get a little jealous. I have a very close cousin of mine whos birthday is the day after mine and every single year I get so jealous the day after my birthday because she still has the whole day for herself. And it seems like everyone totally focuses their attention on her and my birthday was just a long, gone thought of the past. Lol totally immature a I know! And the worst part is….I have to go through that every single year of my life! lol!!! Just be glad you dont have to do that! hehe. It will pass hun! Just make fun memories with your hubby now. =)
Post # 10
It is sad to adjust to not having this huge event to look forward to and talk about. I try to focus on our future plans as a couple and getting our home in order. We’re also looking forward to trips home to visit family (we live a plane ride away too) and other social events.
Post # 11
Oh I am still blissful about our wedding although it is but a distant memory for everyone else. However I DO NOT miss the stress! I was literally pulling my hair out and grinding my teeth like crazy at night and now that is GONE, and I am glad!
Post # 12
I totally get it. It’s sad really, that we spend so much time and effort planning this one perfect day where it’s all about us and then POOF! It’s all over just like that. I was sad thinking about it on our honeymoon, thinking about all the things I wanted to do but never did and people I never got talking to but just never had the time. I really kicked myself for a couple of weeks but now I just tell myself no regrets – we had a perfect day and everyone who mattered was there to celebrate with us and even though it didn’t last long our memories will.
My advice for you is to enjoy the newlywed stage now that you are married. You are still number one and the center of attention to someone – your husband! You had your moment in the spotlight and unfortunately life moves far too quickly and now it’s someone else’s turn so try to be happy for them, offer advice and be happy in your new life as a married couple. x