(Closed) Post-Wedding Brunch: Hotel Room Drop In VS. Restaurant Gathering

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
46670 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

YellowDiamondBride:  I agree with your Fiance. If you imply that you are hosting, then you are paying.

It’s difficult to come up with wording to say “We are going to be at ___ restaurant for breakfast between _and _ am.  Feel free to join us but be aware that you are buying your own meal.”

There have been previous posts on this subject, hopefully someone will come up with the wording for you.

Post # 3
2945 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

If you do small food, you may still have people wanting to go out to eat for a lunch/brunch, but I don’t think it is necessary for you to provide a full meal. I like option one the best, where people can just casualy wonder in and out. Allow a large amount of time, and you will get early risers coming early, and they will wonder out before you get the people that will be in thier room until the last possible moment.

With option 2, I think you can say something like “We are having breakfast at X place at Y time. Please feel free to join us.” Don’t talk about how you rented out a space, as that implies you are hosting. I would address it the same way you would address going out for a friends birthday where every one will go dutch.

Post # 4
963 posts
Busy bee

Agreed. If you imply you’re hosting, it implies you pay. Could you have something at a relatives house? it would be cheaper to just have some fruit trays, veggies, maybe some small sandwiches, etc. That’s what we did. We didnt’ have a ton of people come. There were maybe around 30. We didn’t invite everyone though. The bridal party, close family and friends only. We didn’t serve alcohol but we had punch. It turned out okay. 

If the weather is nice, you could have it outside in someone’s backyard.

Post # 6
2945 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Donuts, baggles, and fruit. You get sweet, savory, and non-bread which are all easy to eat standing.

Post # 7
1634 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

If you host you should pay. I like the informal drop in and think you can offer pastries, juice and coffee for much less than $600. Maybe not bill it as brunch though since you won’t have a seat for all guests anyway.

Post # 8
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - The Meeting House/DoubleTree by Hilton

I’d do the smaller food/outside food option where guests can drop-in and say hi before they leave. In my experience, some guests want to hang out and will sit for a while, but others will oversleep or want to get on the road right away so they’ll just want a quick snack and the chance to say goodbye. If they want a full breakfast, they’ll end up paying for their own anyway and not having breakfast in a certain spot gives them some flexibility to find something on their own budget.

I think yogurt is easy to eat casually, but fruit trays could go either way – unless you have family and friends who are cool with everyone’s hands being in the food, you’ll need forks, plates, etc. Bananas, apples, or oranges might be better for a quick thing. Other breakfast items: munchkins, bagels, granola bars, mini-muffins. 

Post # 9
186 posts
Blushing bee

I think in your case just saying ‘Feel free to drop by our hotel room any time between such and such times for some snacks and goodbyes.’ And then have fruit trays and maybe some pastries and juice and coffee. I don’t think you need to provide breakfast.

Post # 11
3311 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If you can afford it, for the love of God: RESTAURANT. Even get a friend or relative to play “host” for you. The day after your wedding you’ll likely not want to be bombarded with people in your space. With a restaurant, you can show whenever you’re ready. Because someone else will be greeting guests and showing people to their seats, the “party” can be in full swing when you get there. Then when you’re ready to leave, you can make a little speech, blow everyone a kiss and hit the road! Plus no clean up. One of the best moves I made for my wedding weekend, I have to say!

Post # 12
8880 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

since you are willing to $500-$600 anywy, see what the hotel offers in that range.

we had a breakfast the next morning at the hotel.  eggs, potatoes, bagels, fruits, danishes, etc for $12pp  it was only wedding party, hotel guests, and a few other guests that we invited (not everyone).

it was very reasonable.


Post # 13
3267 posts
Sugar bee

There are a lot of logistical nightmares with the first option.  You are going to have to wake up early for the 2nd day in a row, following a long, long day and night. 

You are going to have to prep all the snacks, set it all out, and clean up your room from your wedding night.

What will  you do with perishable foods?  Is there somewhere safe to store cheese, dips, yoghurt etc?

How will you get the large cutting knives for bagels?

Guests will stay as long as they feel like, do you feel like playing host in your own space for that length of time, then cleaning it up?

I would go for a restaurant because I value my time very much.  But you have to pay if you are hosting.  $23/pp is very expensive for a brunch.  Is there another option?  A diner in town?  Or a place you could get something way cheaper?

If you are firm on not hosting a restaurant meal then the best you can do is spread via word of mouth that you are planning on being at XXXXXX place at 10 am, and wouldn’t mind other people dropping by if they too wanted to eat brunch. He who invites pay.  So you have to not “invite” people.

Post # 14
1784 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We’re having a catered luncheon at our new house the day after the wedding. I would rent the room and have someone else bring the food. My in-laws are coming early and setting up/picking up all the food and my Maid/Matron of Honor is flying in early to help me pretty the house. It’s a drop-in type thing from 12-3. I’ll let you know how it goes! haha

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