Post # 1
Our wedding is on a Friday night. Everyone from the groom’s family will be coming in from out of town. We’d like to schedule an informal gathering on Saturday night. We were thinking about doing a comedy club event. By arranging something like this, are we supposed to pay for the event in its entirety? If we don’t pay for it, do we appear to be inhospitable? Who gets invited? I didn’t plan on doing any formal invites – maybe via email or something.
Post # 3
I’m not really sure how something like that goes… Are you doing formal invites for it or is it kind of a spread by ear type of thing? The following morning we had a get together with DH’s out of town relatives, but my Future In-Laws hosted it as a brunch sort of thing at their home. I would think that if you are doing a formal invite thing then perhaps you should pay, but if it is a casual “hey come out with us the next night so we can spend some more time together before you go home” sort of thing, then they could come if they wanted to or skip out if they didn’t want to pay for it.
Post # 4
I think you could get away with not paying if you state it properly. Say that it is a get together and you will pay for a round of appetizers or drinks or something. Then people will know you aren’t paying for the whole thing.
Post # 5
Here’s what we’re doing…not advice on what you SHOULD do or what’s expected, just shared experience:
Our weddings are on Friday afternoon & Sunday morning. Friday’s “reception” is a cocktail party. Then everyone’s on their own for dinner (FI & I are having dinner with his family). Sunday, we’re doing Brunch/Lunch with full bar; everyone’s on their own after 4pm. On Monday, we’re letting people know that, if they’re still around, we’ll be having brunch at one of the hotel restaurants & they’re welcome to join us…we’ll share with them how to make their own reservation for about the same time. We are NOT hosting; none of our guests are obligated to come; the “invitation” is based only on our website & on an announcement at the reception. That’s how we’re doing the post-wedding thing.