Post-wedding hair anxiety

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
1328 posts
Bumble bee

seek perspective. does it *really* matter if your hair looks a little wonky in some of your photos? is this something that will even be on your radar in a year? when you look at the photos of your wedding was it your hair that made those moments precious? 

some of my favorite wedding photos also feature my charming back fat (you know the little spillover that larger ladies get). do i love that part of the picture? no. is it the first thing i see when i look at the picture? sometimes. but when i look at the picture as a whole i see me with my sisters i hadn’t seen in 15+ years. i see my husband and i framed by mountains and a moody sky. i see the love and support we received on that day. try to look at your photos with fresh eyes and hopefully you will be able to move past the hair. 

Post # 3
146 posts
Blushing bee

I hope this doesn’t come across as too harsh: knock off the worrying about your hair! You’ve already admitted that you’re making life miserable for your brand-new husband. You married the guy you wanted, right? Focus on making his life happier. 

And, you could be undergoing chemo, worrying about your health & if you will survive, and you would have no hair. Plenty of people do get married with no hair at all. 

Post # 4
1234 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

You’re obsessing over a very small detail of a day you enjoyed. Stop thinking about it. Stop talking it about it. Just wait for the photos and I’m sure it will be fine.

Agree with PP who said will this matter in a year. I think that’s a really good way to frame a problem and get some perspective.

Post # 5
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I can relate to this a little. I have very thick, stubborn hair that won’t hold curls, so I decided for my wedding I wanted a blowout. I figured it’d look nice and I wouldn’t really have to worry about it. I booked my appointment with a salon I had never been to (got married back in hometown and previous hair stylist was gone) and when I arrived I learned they did not book me for a blowout and didn’t have time to wash my hair. So I showed the woman what I was going for and she did my hair. It. Looked. Awful. Nothing like the picture I showed her. I saw my husband right after that to get his opinion and he agreed it was just not for me. I went home, showered and blew my hair straight.

In some photos my hair looked great and in others it just looked okay. But after the wedding I definitely had some regret about having just “regular” straight hair than something fancy. I wondered if I should’ve told the stylist to do something else or even just straighten it nice for me. I actually had dreams about my wedding hair it bothered me so much.

Two years later and I’m now 100% happy with my hair decision and how it looked in photos, even in the photos it didn’t look so great in. I really think it just takes time. We all have such high hopes about how great we’ll look on our big day and when it doesn’t live up to expectations it’s disappointing. I also think it’s easier to look back on the day when you’ve had some time being married and know what great things would come afterward.

But one temporary solution that might make you feel better is to get some professional photos taken of you and your husband. Maybe Christmas-themed to celebrate your first Christmas together as a couple? Then you’ll have photos of the two of you with your hair as you’d like and that can distract you from the wedding photos. I thought about doing this after I got married. I’ve also heard of some couples doing post-wedding shots in their wedding attire if they didn’t like their photos or something big changed, like they lost a lot of weight. Essentially a redo. But I think you just need to give it time.

Post # 6
6278 posts
Bee Keeper

We had photos on the beach. My hair was a mess. I was bummed about it after the wedding too. That was ages ago. Not bothered now. If you look brides always come here a day or two after the wedding and worry about some detail. If could somehow wind back time would I make sure my hair was fixed and my groom had his buttonhole on the right way and my music started at the right time. Yes I would. I don’t think of it now at all unless I’m in the bee.  It matters not a jot. Just pick your favourite photos and dont worry. 

Post # 8
439 posts
Helper bee

I’m sorry this is eating away at you. Honestly I have read some awful, horrible, shocking wedding related stories on here. Like things people never think of can get so incredibly f-ed up ( just read one there the caterer thought the wedding was the FOLLOWING weeekend and this was only discovered like 1 hour prior to dinner…) I can’t even imagine! If the hair was the one and only thing I honestly think that compared to others you are lucky. I know that’s not very encouraging but based on what I’ve read it’s pretty common to have one thing go wrong. I bet that you will get lots of pics you do like and can edit ones you dont! I think once you see the finals you will feel better…

Post # 9
866 posts
Busy bee

underice :  My pro photos had a lot of backlit photos with the sun streaming in–which is lovely, but it showed every little hair and it made my hair look pretty frizzy in some of them. I just photoshopped it 🙂 

Post # 10
6325 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

It sounds more like post-wedding let-down. You say that you worked so hard to make everything perfect, and had a huge feeling of elation… but that feeling will go away after the wedding no matter what. It cannot go on forever. I think that if your hair had been perfect, you would have fixated on something else you cannot change. So let it go and relax. I promise that a year from now, let alone two or three, this won’t matter at all. 

Post # 12
215 posts
Helper bee

whatever the issue is, it’s not really your hair. you’re just deflated after planning a huge event. get some sleep and chill out. you won’t care about this in a few weeks.

Post # 13
8177 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

underice :  

just deleted my original  post as being too harsh now I see your update 

Post # 14
235 posts
Helper bee

I can relate. My hair was a waterfall braid + curled to oblivion on our wedding day but by the end of the night with the humidity my curls flattened and it was a stringy mess…plus in some photos you can kind of see my clip in extensions! (Cringed so hard at those photos!) I can sympathize how you’re feeling, but like other bees mentioned above, in a few years it won’t matter because its such a tiny detail in a big, important day! Give it some time bee, the feeling will pass 

Post # 15
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I look back on my photos now and my hair went frizzy within about twenty minutes of me arriving for the ceremony! At first I was a bit annoyed that no one told me but now I just laugh- what can you do? I had a great day, I love my husband and everything else went pretty smoothly. That’s just my hair, it’ll do what it wants no matter how much ‘anti-frizz’ stuff my stylist puts on it! I agree with other posters, it sounds like post-wedding let-down.. just try and enjoy not having all the stress any more! 🙂

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