(Closed) Post wedding reception etiquette

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I had a small wedding, then invited friends to an after wedding celebration/BBQ at a park.  I didn’t expect any gifts.  We had the party so we could celebrate with our friends.  We both have a lot of friends and wanted a small wedding, so we thought this was a good compromise.

A lot of friends came and had a good time.  I brought some wedding photos too.  Other friends couldn’t make it because of work, they were too busy, etc and that was okay too.  Like you said it was informal, so I didn’t expect everyone to drop everything to attend like they might with a wedding.  I wasn’t upset about people who couldn’t make it.

Luckily this is a common trend in our group of friends.  We are in our 30’s.  Ours was the fourth or fifth small wedding, then big party, with friends in the last few years.

Post # 3
Member
1705 posts
Bumble bee

I think that since it was an email invite and hosted at her home, it sounds pretty casual, and you were probably okay to turn it down due to distance. I mean, you can always refuse an invitation, even if they had a huge wedding and invited everyone to the ceremony.

That said, since being on the boards and reading posts from people who have done private ceremonies & separate celebrations, I’m realizing that a lot of people really want their friends to treat those parties like a typical wedding reception, and make the effort to be there. I’m guessing most of those people send out formal invites, though.

Post # 4
Member
5360 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
elleish8705:  Generally post wedding receptions are considered more casual. The fact that she emailed you an invite just shows that more. I think you were fine to skip it and send a small gift. 

Post # 5
Member
559 posts
Busy bee

I’d say it’s appropriate. From what I’ve heard/read/seen most couples do this for their friends and families as a gesture with most preferring no gifts at all. Mine was formal in plans but casual in attitude. I was completely ok when guests couldn’t make it – especially one of my close friends who lives on the other side of the country. I told my friends it would be a good excuse for them to visit a city they’ve never been to but not to come specifically for my reception as I didn’t want it to be a burden/obligation. (Reception was held close to where our families live, not where we and most of our friends live.)

Post # 6
Member
1189 posts
Bumble bee

Yes, it’s fine that you couldn’t make it. As a pp said, the email invitation and home venue indicate that this is a casual affair. From the signals she has sent, it seems she wants a simple and quiet affair – not to worry about imposing a burden of travel and logistics on friends. She likely invited you because she would be thrilled if you could make it,  but didn’t expect it. No worries.

The topic ‘Post wedding reception etiquette’ is closed to new replies.

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