Post # 1
Im wondering if there are any past brides out there who can offer advise on dealing with my post wedding regret/anxiety!
I had an incredible wedding day from start to finish; I was calm, happy, felt amazing and was on cloud 9 all day long- everything went without a hitch, we had amazing weather and an almighty party to end a perfect day but afterwards I felt sad. Part of this was down to the post wedding blues but I couldn’t help but feel a sense of regret about some of my choices.
I had a vision of what i wanted to look like on my wedding day…. a boho dress with a flower crown and relaxed wavy hair (whilst still looking bridal!!) I felt like I had rushed into choosing my dress (it was a bargain on a sale rale and after seeing the reactions from my family and hearing the sales assistants say that if it goes then there won’t be another, looking back I think I panic bought). I did feel amazing in it but I envisaged myself in sleeves and a completely different type of lace- I also worry that people hate it because of the unusual detailing on the front.
The second thing was my hair (I’ve agonised about this for months!!) I had a trial with a half up half down style and plaits at the back, however this was before I decided to go for a flower crown (I had been put off by the dress shop as they said it wouldn’t lend itself with the cathedral veil but I ordered one last minute as I really wanted one), on the day the stylist put plaits in my hair but looking back on the pics I think they look rubbish! She also didn’t put my veil in properly so it fell out half way down the aisle and my curls dropped straight away after telling her that she would need to use my curling wand and loads of hairspray in order for them to stay in (she used straighteners to curl on the day and then pin curled it!!!!). Because my head was in the clouds on the morning of the wedding I didn’t really think to step in and question what she was doing and I also never even looked at the back of my hair before she left ( I was too excited to get to the ceremony!!)
When I look back on pics now I am convinced my hair looks messy and straight, my veil is hanging wrong and my dress doesn’t look right and it makes me feel sad (even though I know I should be focusing on the amazing memories I have).
lastly… as I was so conscious of not spending all day having pics taken and wanting more ‘candid’ shots.. after getting the photos back I realise that I have hardly any of my dress in full and none at all with my mum 🙁
Did anyone else feel like this after the wedding or is it just me?!!!!!!! I can’t stop kicking myself for not putting more thought into my decisions and also feel selfish for feeling this way!!
Post # 2
I felt the exact same way. My reception was a crazy, unorganized mess and I honestly didn’t even enjoy it. But it’s over and not much you can do after the fact. Not everyone has a perfect wedding day unfortunately-but you get over it pretty quickly as you start to go on with life and the wedding isn’t so much on your mind. But regardless, you looked gorgeous and your pics are beautiful! Congrats.
Post # 3
- Wedding: St. petersburg, FL
Bee – I don’t know how to say this nicely, but you are worrying over NOTHING, even if it wasn’t 100% what you thought it was going to be/look like.
You looked absolutely fabulous in those pictures, and from your description (boho, flower crown, relaxed wavy hair) you really got your look down, and your dress is gorgeous on you.
Also… you look genuinely happy, so focus on that! Your pictures are great, and you look great in the photos, too. A wedding day that was calm, happy, and everything went off without a hitch? I’d call that a success on all fronts.
Post # 4
clipclop1023 : thank you that’s really lovely of you to say. I really struggle with self confidence (and I also suffer with general anxiety) so I don’t think that helps when looking back on pictures of myself; you are 100% right though about focusing on the fact that it was a success, I guess that’s the most important part.. and also the man that I got to marry 🙂
Post # 5
For what it’s worth, I think you’ve got a beautiful boho vibe going on with the dress, flower crown, and very loose waves. It looks genuine, like you aren’t just trying hard to portray the ‘perfect’ boho look.
Post # 6
Omg I would kill to look like you-take a seat-I mean this in the nicest way! You look stunning and perfectly captured the boho look,nothing to worry about! 😊
Post # 7
lolakate88 : your pictures look like they could be in a magazine! Stunning.
Post # 8
I love your dress and crown. You look boho to me. My wedding is in April and I feel like even after I will be wishing I did something different. I over analyze everything.
Post # 10
Your photos look exactly the way you described that you wanted them to look and you pulled it off and look stunning!
Post # 11
If i had just seen your photos, i woild absolutely see a beautiful boho chic bride who oooks beautiful and happy and clearly has a husband who feels the same. I guarantee no one thought your dress/veil/hair or pics were or are rubbish. I think you’ll look back on these photos when you’re 80 and think, “damn that was a fun day and I look fine as hell”.
Post # 12
lolakate88 : I feel your pain and I literally just posted my own thread about feeling this way.
I tried to lower stress but saying “that will do” “less is more” and just basically that if I just have a nice hairstyle that will be enough. Now I agonise that I should have put more effort into that among other things.
i didn’t give my mother enough air time. I have a few nice photos with her but I wasn’t thinking enough about that, which is so important, but on the day you don’t realise during the chaos, nerves and excitement. I’ve even pondered the idea of a reshoot just for her, but she’s probably not as paranoid about it as I am…
Post # 13
My hair fell a bit flat pretty soon after my ceremony too. I don’t mind at all, the point was getting married not having my hair 100% perfect. It still looked nice. Honestly the day of I stopped worrying about little things. Husbands boutanneire broke, didn’t care, tossed it aside. Moved on. Life’s too short to worry about this stuff. You looked great, you got married THATS what matters.
Post # 14
your pictures blew me away, so gorgeous and y’all are one good looking couple. but I feel the same way myself. I rushed into a dress and feel like it didn’t represent me and I’m so regretful ugh!
Post # 15
The only thing you have said that is remotely right is that your hair is straight rather than wavy . No one on earth would know this was not what you wanted ,except you . As for the rest , it looks exactly as you described you wanted, and is perfectly beautiful .
You are fretting and agonising over absolutely nothing OP . Stop feeding your anxiety and lack of confidence with this stuff. A feeling of anticlimax is as normal as anything , don’t make it worse by a tortuous self examination of the minutiae of how you imagine you looked.