(Closed) Post Wedding Regrets

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
2275 posts
Buzzing bee

I haven’t gone through this myself because I’m not married yet, but I know that what you’re feeling isn’t unusual.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read posts on this site about how a bride thinks she looked awful or that she didn’t do enough to make her wedding look good. More often than not, her feelings, while understandable, are just not correct. These brides tend to look beautiful, and their dresses look just right on them. Their wedding decor tends to look great; so nice, in fact, that people get ideas for their own wedding. 

Oftentimes, people are their own worst critics. I think that’s what’s going on with you. I haven’t seen pictures of your wedding, but based on other posts I’ve read that sound like yours, I’ll guess that you and your wedding look much better than you think they do. The wedding wasn’t that long ago, so I think with a little more time you’ll start to see it for what it really was, and you won’t feel about it the way you do now; you’ll see how beautiful everything really was. 

To get past this, just give yourself some time to let everything sink in; time will probably make a big difference. Also, remember that the goal of the wedding was for you and your fiancé to get married, and that goal was accomplished. That truly is the most important part.   

Besides, there will always be anniversary parties and vow renewals, so you can use the decor and wear the style of dress you want later. You don’t have to wait a bunch of years either. Celebrating your marriage can be done anytime you and your husband feel like it. 

Post # 3
257 posts
Helper bee

I’m sure this is just the come down after all the stress as I’ve spoken to so many people who said they had the same thoughts after their wedding day! For me it was the invitations… “They cost too much and still could of been better”… ?!?! Why even worry after the event?! It’s just nitpicking with the benefit of hindsight. It’s like a strange punishment we put upon ourselves! I’m sure you looked absolutely fabulous 🙂 

Post # 4
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

LeanneMarie:  I know exactly how you feel. I loved our day the day of, thought it was perfect. but, looking back I wish I coul dhave a do over and the regret feeeling sucks. However, I moved on because there is too much going on in my life to dwell about it. I will admit that its difficult looking back on it. I try to just remember the good things about the day, most importantly, that I married the love of my life!

Post # 5
5072 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Is that profile pic you?  If so you have nothing to worry about!

Post # 6
5753 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Remind yourself that what’s done is done, and none of it changes the outcome. You are married, and it is the marriage that matters, not the wedding. We are harder on ourselves than anyone else usually is, and I am willing to be that everyone who attended your wedding thought you were a beautiful bride. Your Darling Husband loves you and thought you looked great, and that’s really all that matters.

Post # 9
530 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

If I look half as good on my wedding day I will be delighted!  Really really love your hair.  

Post # 10
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

jofits:  agreed! OP you looked stunning!

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by  missopal.
Post # 11
589 posts
Busy bee

LeanneMarie:  i can understand how you feel, although for different reasons. I wasn’t happy with my photographer and have been sulking all day again about not getting a full frontal shot of my dress. I don’t have any full length shots. Im so crabby that I didn’t get a shot of just me in my dress just like the ones you have just posted! I’d love to have just one pic like yours 🙁 I thought I was starting to get over it, but suddenly today i was getting down about it again! I need help too! Lol. I felt super stressed on my wedding day and can’t say I really enjoyed it. Kind of wish we eloped!

Post # 12
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2047

LeanneMarie:  You looked absolutely beautiful! Don’t bring yourself down for no reason! 🙂

Post # 13
1240 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

LeanneMarie:  your husband is right, you are crazy. You look perfect in the photos: your makeup is flawless, your hair fabulous, your dress is gorgeous and perfect for your body (you have a great figure, so most deesses probably would’ve looked good but that one fits you beautifully, plus it is so pretty and classy). Also the pops of red look really nice.

Honestly I think you have some serious self-esteem issues if you can’t see how stunning you looked. Every time a negative thought enters your head try to recognise it as being totally irrational. Just acknowledge the crazy and move along. Then post more photos of your beautiful wedding for us. 

Post # 14
2350 posts
Buzzing bee

LeanneMarie:  You look gorgeous! I think you have what I call “wedding blog disease”. Expectations for weddings these days are SO insanely high. I mean, who says that it has to be the BEST DAY EVER with the BEST FOOD EVER, the BEST HAIR EVER, the BEST DRESS EVER, the BEST VENUE EVER, etc. It’s like a system designed to make you feel bad if you aren’t a billionaire with five dress changes and a guest list of 300 people.

You probably spent a ton of money on one day, and then it was all over in a flash. It’s so much expectation and planning and excitement, then after that day your life just goes back to normal. 

My advice: for now, take our words for it (and your husband’s) that you looked great, and step away from the wedding blogs. No more looking at dresses you might have liked, or replaying the day and choices. Just forget about everything weddings for like a month. Don’t even look at your pictures! After a month pull them out and look, I bet you’ll feel a lot better. 

Post # 15
3464 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

you look stunning!! I hope I look as beautiful as you on my wedding day!

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