(Closed) Post Wedding Regrets – Help me let go! (longish)

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

You have to give it time. In a few months or a year, things like the petit fours won’t even bother you. In fact, the dress may not bother you.I didn’t even steam my dress. Did it have wrinkles? Yup. FOr months did I wish I’d ironed it and even thought about it? yup. Do i care now? Nope, not at all. Whatever! My wedding was a year ago and I sort of have an “eh, i’m over it. it was good, time to move on” attitude because i’m more involved in other phases of my life. Perhaps you will be like this, too.

Post # 4
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Thank you for sharing!   All the talk of preparation and wedding planning is helpful but its really good to hear a post-wedding view as well.   There is so much more to consider that only one who has gone through with the wedding can give experienced feedback.

Thanks!

 

 

Post # 5
Member
520 posts
Busy bee

I think that it’s common that in anything we do we always look back and think we could have done things differently.  It’s human nature.   Don’t stress about the dessert table pic ~ it’s a nice to have, but not a have to have.  I’m sure your wedding dress was lovely and you will have nice pics.  It sounds like you had a lovely wedding.  Congrats!!!!!!!

Post # 6
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I don’t have any advice- I’m still a couple months out and I’m the exact same type A person.  I’m sure I’ll obsess over every little thing too.  But one thing to keep in mind is that all strapless dresses look like they’re sticking out when you’re looking down from above, but when other people look at you it doesn’t look anything like that.  I can’t imagine that with both bra cups and a strapless bra that you looked flat.  I’m sorry your seamstress wasn’t more cooperative, but I bet when you get your pictures back you won’t feel as bad about the dress. Just try to look at it as if you didn’t know there was that problem, and see it as an objective observer would, rather than focusing on where you know there were issues…

Post # 7
Member
2007 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Oh yes, don’t worry.  It’s been, what, 5 days?  (Congratulations!)  Those things will definitely fade with time.  I would say that by the time you get your photos back and can see how happy and amazing everyone, but especially you and your husband, looked it will start to matter less and less.  Hearing back from the guests about what an amazing time they had and how beautiful everything was helps with that a lot as well.  ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 8
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

We are our own worst critics and I’m willing to bet your dress looked gorgeous and no one even noticed the cups! As far as the dessert table, if that’s the worst that happened during your wedding, I think you have a lot to be thankful for! People go crazy over dessert so there was almost no avoiding a swarming of the table.

Post # 9
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I second the give it time comments.  It’s been almost three weeks since my wedding and already some of those “why didnt I think of x,y, and z” thoughts are starting to fade.  I was upset with myself for focusing on them at first.  I wanted to just look back and be okay with everything.   But it’s a really important day, things are bound to go wrong, and it’s okay to be upset about that.  It definitely will get better though.

 

Post # 10
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I can relate to exactly how you are feeling! We just got married last weekend and we also are not honeymooning until later this year. I have had some sleepless nights since the wedding think about the things I would do a little differently – esp. considering that our officiant left out the foundation part of our ceremony I worked so hard on! (still not over that and probably won’t be for a while…)  But hindsight is always 20/20, right? Shoulda, woulda, coulda!  I think that every wedding has those moments and we just have to move on knowing that our guests had a great time! Just keep looking forward to your honeymoon! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 12
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I just wanted to tell you that I think you look really beautiful in your dress in your pic.  I’m glad to hear that you have gotten past it.  I think sometimes we are just our own worst critics.

Post # 13
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

You do look beautiful.   You had nothing to worry about.

Post # 14
Member
520 posts
Busy bee

OMG ~ you look GORGEOUS!!!!  No worries my friend.  You were an amazingly beautiful bride.  The dress looks fantastic!!

Post # 15
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

First, don’t stress! I had a bride who lost a lot of weight and the top of her dress was MUCH bigger than yours was! In any pictures where it “didn’t sit right” or “stuck out” etc… we just photoshopped it to be correct in the album ๐Ÿ˜‰ Fits like a glove according to the album! 

But, like others said, time will help. I’m sure your guests never knew or cared about the presentation… they’re probably only thinking about how yummy they were ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 16
Member
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

You asked how you can stop remembering all the things that went wrong and only remember the good things. Well, I was listening to a radio program about how memories form recently and they said that our memories work like a library. Every time we recall a memory, we “check it out and return it” to a part of our brain. Each time we check it out, it become stronger and more permanent. So if you want to forget those things – stop thinking about them and they will literally fade away! And the more you remember the positive things, them those memories will become stronger.

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