posted 13 years ago in Recaps
Post # 3
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2021

It’s definitely normal to be upset over details that you planned so carefully, but turned out differently than what you envisioned.  However, did the bouquet really overshadow the magic of the day and the fact that you were marrying the man of your dreams? 

People handle things in different ways, so I’m not going to criticize you for not being able to let it go so easily.  Some people roll with the punches better than others.  If there’s any advice I can give, try to let it go and focus on all the great things.

It seems you are trying to do that by realizing you made a good decision with the dress change and the fact that your girls rallied around and helped as much as you can.  How great is that?  Many of the brides in the Hive have crummy friends who flake out from the start!

I can relate to your situation because my bouquet was not was I ordered either.  But unlike you who figured out that you should just put it down, I kept carrying it and realized afterwards that I don’t have one good picture of me and my husband after the ceremony without that ugly bouquet blocking my beautiful dress in all the shots! 

So I always give that advice now…even if you have the bouquet of your dreams, have someone remind you to put it down half-way through the pics so that your dress stands out, too.  Good luck…take a deep breath…

Post # 4
88 posts
Worker bee

maybe you could also have the flowers that you love around your new home with your new husband? just try to focus on the present and the future 🙂

you guys could even treat yourself to a pro photo session on your 1 year anniversary and you could make flowers a part of that too! 

Post # 5
2029 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I would probably feel the same way as you, especially since you said you had put such effort into designing a beautiful bouquet. My only advice is to tro to somehow associate a different, happier memory with your wedding. My mom really hated a lot of the things at her wedding, including her dress and ring. She has been married 50 years now and is still very bitter about it. I believe it has slowly poinsoned her marriage because she associates these negative things with her marriage. I don’t blame her, but I feel bad that she doesn’t have any happy memories to anchor her marriage to. So maybe take some time to meditate on the things you really loved on your wedding day and make that the focus.

Post # 6
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

You know that you can always order a new bouquet and bout from a local florist, get your DH all dressed up, and have some more photos of the two of you.  My photographer specifically let us know that if we wanted photos either before or after the big day, he would include that in the package, and we should just let the florist know what day to provide duplicate flowers for us.  It’s apparently quite usual – the photographer says that not only are you way more relaxed a few days later, but people have so much fun playing dress-up again (I suppose you can even play trash-the-dress a little if you like).  And that would give you some fun photos with a bouquet you like, as well as some more fun memories.

Other than that, the only advice that I have is that really the wedding is just one day.  You can re-engineer the pictures, but the day is however it turns out to be.  If it’s perfect and magical, that is great.  My mother (who was driven to the church by her Future Mother-In-Law, in her FBIL’s car) ran out of gas on the way there, had to walk part of the way, and was late to her own wedding.  I’m sure she was furious, but we all love the story of how she and Grammy were walking along the side of the road, in all their finery, and dad was panicking at the church.  Really its the stories of what didn’t go according to plan that you enjoy telling over and over in the years afterwards – although first you have to get over it!  What matters is that you’re married to a man you love, your family and friends are supportive and wonderful, and you have the rest of your life to enjoy all that!  Unless, of course, you spend days or weeks in a funk over a bunch of vegetation. 

Post # 7
88 posts
Worker bee

you know i think a lot of people have "post wedding depression" too which you may also be experiencing? it’s such a load of pressure for one day.. 🙁 

Post # 8
33 posts
  • Wedding: December 2007

I understand having regrets about the way certain things went about the wedding. It is so much easier to focus on the negative things than the things that went well just after the wedding. It sounds like you did have a couple big issues that may take you a little bit to get over. It’s completely natural to thing of the things you wished were different after spending alot of time trying to make things exactly right. The only advice I can give (and what I tried to do myself) was to focus on the good things about the day and give yourself some time to let go of the things that didn’t go well. I found when I got my pictures and video that I was pleasantly surprised by the things I had forgotten about that were great about the day.

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